I was so cross when I saw her brazenly post this morning asking if it was safe to talk about the recipes yet.
Whoever made this gif, is my new god
Please can we refer to it as Sex Worker sauce? Maybe Jack got the maverick and innovative idea for this age old traditional Italian recipe during her imaginary job selling sex? Makes you think.Mama Mia, her puttanesca recipe is tit!! I can picture her doing it on This Morning and Gino having some kind of breakdown
Jack, you wanted to talk about the recipes, yeah? Well maybe let’s talk about why you think it’s necessary to put sardines that are already cooked, into 600ml of liquid and then cook for 30 mins? Why, also, would you use x2 tins of sardines, when you could use the stronger saltier (and correct for a cultural recipe!!!) flavour of x1 tin of chopped anchovies that are sold in Sainsbury’s for 90p a tin? You’re not saving money, because you’re using x2 of the alternative.
If you’re being thrifty, why would you have the gas on for 30 mins when 10-15 would suffice? Oh, wait, I know the answer! It’s because you’ve used way too much liquid (600ml) and need to reduce down the unnecessary volume
Why is your puttanesca devoid of any of the things that would give a depth of flavour? It’s supposed to be cooked with onions and garlic, with parsley added at the end. All we seem to have here, is mashedfish boiled into tinned tomatoes for half an hour.
Puttanesca is supposed to strike a lovely balance between being rich in flavour, but light and fresh, salty, with pops of zing here and there. Why am I cooking pre-cooked, mashed sardines for so long? Won’t the sauce just become a slop? Apologise to the whores of Naples, now! WARNED.
PS, after your bread and jam bullshit in the ice cream recipe, you could have at least treated us to a history of puttanesca (bleep’s sauce) and how it ties in with your definitely not made up experience of being a sex worker. Missed an opportunity to talk about yourself there pal.
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I think it’s safe to say the book has truly flopped. There’s no spinning it.
@Sweetpea was asking for the marmite crumpet recipe on the slopalong thread (sorry, don’t know how to link).
Not only does the stuff in the bowl look like margarine; that scoop has seen better days.
you called?
I would hazard a guess that the ice-cream has been gently rolled in crisp, scramptious, lovingly toasted (over a solar bulb) cornflakes that gave way in the bottom of the box.
And where did the slice come from, since it clearly hasn’t come from the serving dish?
Other issues a standard puttanesca uses 5 anchovy fillets (53p a tin with approx 15-20 in at Aldi vs 49p for a tin of sardines at Aldi and she uses two tins), she doesn’t drain the sardines so incredibly oily plus more costly than proper.Mama Mia, her puttanesca recipe is tit!! I can picture her doing it on This Morning and Gino having some kind of breakdown
Jack, you wanted to talk about the recipes, yeah? Well maybe let’s talk about why you think it’s necessary to put sardines that are already cooked, into 600ml of liquid and then cook for 30 mins? Why, also, would you use x2 tins of sardines, when you could use the stronger saltier (and correct for a cultural recipe!!!) flavour of x1 tin of chopped anchovies that are sold in Sainsbury’s for 90p a tin? You’re not saving money, because you’re using x2 of the alternative.
If you’re being thrifty, why would you have the gas on for 30 mins when 10-15 would suffice? Oh, wait, I know the answer! It’s because you’ve used way too much liquid (600ml) and need to reduce down the unnecessary volume
Why is your puttanesca devoid of any of the things that would give a depth of flavour? It’s supposed to be cooked with onions and garlic, with parsley added at the end. All we seem to have here, is mashed
Puttanesca is supposed to strike a lovely balance between being rich in flavour, but light and fresh, salty, with pops of zing here and there. Why am I cooking pre-cooked, mashed sardines for so long? Won’t the sauce just become a slop? Apologise to the whores of Naples, now! WARNED.
PS, after your bread and jam bullshit in the ice cream recipe, you could have at least treated us to a history of puttanesca (bleep’s sauce) and how it ties in with your definitely not made up experience of being a sex worker. Missed an opportunity to talk about yourself there pal.
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It’s a dessssiccated (or however the duck she spelt it) olive semifreddo you evil bastards!!!
