Jack Monroe #446 Egg rings in America WO-AH

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

Well, this is piping hot tea (to me at least) but also rings very true. Is it the case that SBs dad helped out at the beginning but then had family commitments of his own to deal with?

That I have no idea about I am afraid although hasn't Jack herself mentioned him working in a bar or something in those early days? I may be imaging that part but I seem to remember her gently, softly implying he wasn't around as much.

Jack literally said in one of the articles Vali posted yesterday that she was "cast out" from the fire service.

Old Chief be like -

To be fair I did get the impression the bloke who took over control could not wait to shove her out the door....apparently the woman before him was part of "the old boys club" and so was a bit more lenient and he came in and basically said plenty of people want a job like that...there's the door...apparently it did not go down well. I wish I was still in contact with my friend....some days I wonder if she made it here....she used to get so annoyed by her

 

[Bugger13]

For the prosecco...? No! Just a simple samurai sword my friend...
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Some knob did this with champagne at a party here once to show off & fucked it up (a knife, not a sword) so the champagne had shards of glass in. Knob. I had to strain it through a sieve (if only I’d had a fabric square glued with superglue)

 

[hoopdedoo]

Sir Dr Brian May also went back to his PhD research data and completed his PhD 33 years after he started it. In other words, he delivered what he set out to do, despite working very hard on other things (i.e. being a rock star) in the meantime. Really makes you think

 

[Limey]

Train driver gets me every time

Has she got the licence and done the training?

Its one of my favourites of her working class cosplay fantasies. A responsible job, skilled, well paid. She'd never get through the initial sift of applications, due to erratic/no work history, a well documented social media account of alcohol/medication abuse, no relevant experience at all, and no driving licence.

Jack wants it because:
a) Uniform
b) Unionised, so she can live out Billy Elliot strike fantasies
c) She believes the Daily Mail and thinks they get paid £100k a year

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

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They look dire

 

[jenny2603]

Had a quick look for the skills which are necessary to be a train driver. Jack possesses none of them.

Particular highlights are “cheerful and approachable”, “excellent time management skills” and “the ability to remain focused over long periods of time”.

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If you don't have a tin opener just use a knife and a mallet.

 

[jenny2603]

It's Jack and her very special friends!

 

[hydeist]

I missed this the first time I had a good trawl through her Guardian comments. It’s from 2013.

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Add what form of contraception she used to the list of “things I know about Jack Monroe (because she’s told me) that I don’t know about any other “food professional”

Even her very earliest Guardian comments read like her tweets almost ten years later. Fame didn’t turn her into an insufferable prick, it just inflicted her insufferable prick-ness on a wider range of unsuspecting people.

Of course Jack, the lesbianest lesbian who ever lesbianed, was on Depo.

 

[hooplifehero]

GAH! Her constant cheeky chappy, smug 'that'll do is my particular aneurism. I know that it's an over reaction, but it makes me want to break things. Grrrrr.

if she had a boyfriend she’d be posting all the presents he’d given her with “the boy done good”

no shade on basic Facebook huns because it’s an entirely valid lifestyle in my opinion - but Jack is way closer to basic Facebook hun than edgy renegade and I think she hates that

 

[Lazarus]

I’m 17 pages behind. Unlikely to catch up before the new year, but just wanted to say Content’s hair looks like it’s been cut by the Council.

 

[Mrs Peel]

I haven't really paid a lot of attention to AM since her first posts, but Part 4 of her blog popped up on twitter, so I decided to take a look. It's actually very, very good - everything laid out carefully, no room for people to question what she is saying etc.

If the Pokemon guy (can't remember his name) reads it he will have more than enough groundwork to do an extremely thorough investigation. If you were 'new' to Jack Monroe and read it, there would be no doubt in your mind that there's more than just speculation on AM's part. It's absolutely damning.

Edit: just noticed that my pic looks like I'm holding up a fancy pair of purple drawers for all to see.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Before you all go off to your parties or do what you're going to do this evening, may I say a big thankspaceyou for making this middle aged frau cackle and howl with your antics. I shall be in bed before midnight as I'm not a huge fan of NYE, so happy New Year you lovely canal xx
PS: Not you Jack, you can get in the bin and take your M and S sausage rolls with you.

 

[zetta buttons]

Jesus wept. What an insult to most women, who actually work and raise their children properly. How dare she.

Not just that, it’s insulting to all the carers who provide loving and stable homes for looked after children.

 

[jenny2603]

I mean, Jack thinks putting your child in a creche is akin to having them fostered. I'm sure she said this.

Yes, she did say something about not wanting to leave her child with strangers. Presumably in case he tells them what she's really like.

 

[elepal]

Just clicked what irritated me most about this Viv tweet. Self describing as 'little' again.
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Jack, you are not small, little or cute. You are a grown mid thirties woman. And your body is not misshapen as well you know, it's an fairly unremarkable looking human body. Nothing of note or interest. You aren't special, and stop fishing for compliments you saddo.

The "weird little misshapen body" thing deeply annoys me in the same way as those influencers who've co-opted the body positive movement and made it their whole identity while being a UK size 12 at the most. Disingenuous at best.

 

[Limey]

Hot tea over on MN

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Very unsurprising.

Ran my eye over the MN thread and someone points out that she's lifted quite a bit of her story from The Skint Foodie blog (he stopped blogging in 2014ish, when he seemed to have got back on his feet and got a stable job). Difference is that he was/is a talented cook.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

That Man got there first with Ministry of Food, a genuinely useful book on the basics of cooking that she would kill to have written.

I noticed she put something about using whole peeled plum canned tomatoes rather than chopped ones as they contain more tomatoes. That’s something I only learned recently from the That Man TV channel. I read a lot of cookery books and have done for years and he‘s the only chef I’ve heard say it. And then suddenly, it’s in Grifty Kitchen!

I expect she taught him that

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I’ve finally Caroline with the hands (or no hands, if she’s been trying out any of the Grifty Kitchen tips!)

If you mean the one who came here to say how truly awesome (if a little disorganized but well meaning) and what a great cook (and SO generous too) Jack is, I as well.

Spoiler: Caroline who has Hands

 

[glubby]

Wow, I didn’t check tattle for a while since Monday evening. Saw yesterday that Viv had died (RIP for real) and immediately rushed over here to see what Jack had been up to. Imagine my delight when I had almost 3 whole threads to grunk!! I feel like I’ve aged twenty years in the time it’s taken me to catch up. There is far too much for me to comment on, but here are some of my highlights:

- the mysterious new expensive neon sign that her sponsor discovered in the shed…but she can’t say who it’s from because the mice ate the label ffs just say you got it for Christmas ya dork!!!
- The long thread about “please elon musk sir I have an epic idea for your website please sir” which she clearly thought was gonna go proper viral and end up with her being lauded as the inspiration for Twitter changing it’s blocking policy, ending up fizzling out with a handful of shares from the dopey dads and mad nans from comments club.
- using Viv’s passing as an excuse to humblebrag about her “small misshapen body” I love when she describes herself like she’s quasimodo despite being a completely average looking person. In the photos of her in grifty kitchen she looks particularly rosey-cheeked and healthy which really shows up how she tries to make herself look like a starving Victorian orphan in all her selfies.
- grifty kitchen looks somehow even worse than I’d imagined it. The random text colours and design choices make it look so amateurish, like something a child would put together for their school project. Not to mention all the actual dangerous advice like stabbing into a tin with a knife!!

There is probably more I’ve forgotten about. Thank you forensically and hilariously documenting it all. I’ve probably spammed quite a lot of you with laugh reacts on your posts. I’m so glad I found this little community and all of you clever funny people

Oh and how fetching does my slug look in its little mask!!

 

[Begborrowsteal]

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How is the pastry cooked but the inside looking raw?!