Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole

[Smol Pixel]

Using HH2 as a gotcha is my new aneurysm.

Yes Jack, we all know you started HH2 by saying “I’m not poor by any stretch of the imagination”, but you then went on to state various things that indicate that you have no money. If you’re going to argue semantics that lack of disposable income =/= poor I don’t want to hear it. You know exactly how HH2 was meant to be received. You know exactly what you were implying. And if you didn’t, there should have been countless replies to tweets saying “thanks but I’m going to refund the money you just sent because, as I stated in my blog, I’m not poor”. You’re such a lying liar!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Welcome to thread 445!

Congratulations to @Terrible for the nomination, and @Valiofthedolls for pointing out the ridiculousness of the words from @Jack_M herself

In the last thread, chaos! *insert Elmo flames gif here*

Would anyone care to recap please?


For newcomers, hi! Please check out the wiki, the pink button up there

ETA. Sorry I just realised I started a new thread a bit early. Like many others it stresses me out when we get beyond page 51, but I jumped ahead too soon.

Anyway, one week to go until Thrifty Kitchen hits the shelves, toot toot mothafuckas.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Is this squig taking the p*ss?
Kack Monroe. You said it, pal

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Real RIP Viv.
She was very kind to me when I met her as a 12 year old in awe.....looking back she was absolutely totally done with everyone but still made time for me.
Have her autograph somewhere. Will have to hang it in the loo.

 

[Ginnygingin]

I get it now, the reason she didn’t get in until 5am was because she had to wait for the sun to start rising to leave the PARTY WITH V GOOD, HILARIOUS, SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS as she’s been given ‘FIRM POLICE ADVICE’ not to travel alone in complete darkness. She lives the life of an anti-vampire.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Poor Agent Adrian. He must be having multiple aneurysms right about now.

Rosemary, on the other hand, is probably relaxing with a large glass of wine and looking forward to a Jack-free 2023.

 

[Toffee finger]

Morning Jack
She's not even tagged in this reply so the "leave me alone" is a bit fuckin rich

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I hate when she reposts this conveniently forgetting she also put up screenshots of empty bank accounts around the same time

 

[DinosaurSenior]

The whole.... Perky thing:. I'm not one to comment on someone's appearance, especially not their boobs. It feels kinda ... A step back.

So how can this so called activist come dashing to Twitter to tell half a million people that her friends are shouting out about her average chest?

Look at me!!! Don't look at me!!! ©The Fast Show

 

[Jelly Bean]

Saturday Thursday night party starts here!

ETA @Lucky Escape brings the receipts! (You’ve been Tinder-ing her again haven’t you )

Also genuinely had to check what bleedin’ day it is!

She knows why Lee Anderson is obsessed with her. She is suing him. Isn't she?
If not where is the money raised for it?

 

[GoLando]

She’s like a child -always with the I got more. Couldn’t just say something like “Great toy isn’t it? Xxx loves it!”

** WTF is the dogs name, I have forgotten it’s actual name

A normal person would also comment on how cute the squig’s dog is. Jack…BACK TO ME.

 

[Foxvint]

What exactly about her is like Tommy Shelby? The full senuous mouth versus the gummy shark grin? The tough reticent hardcase versus the oversharing neurotic desperado always crying like a Sicilian widow about her shit life online? The proud provider for his family versus the baroness of begging bowls?

 

[Bwidge]

Is Pesky Blinders about gypsies/travellers? If so, this squig is absolutely right about how problematic Jack's cosplay is:

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I'm not sure cosplaying as a violent gangster is a great idea in any circumstance.

 

[jenny2603]

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Yeah as another ND, that colour scheme was really confusing as it looked liked each colour was meant to be a category

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By 'mess', does she mean poverty? I think she means poverty.

There was a suspected sock a week or two back telling everyone that if they just backed off Jack would process their refunds. Really makes you think.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I can't believe I have to say this but don't freeze glass bottles. I learnt this the hard way

Especially not ones filled with water!! Which expands as it freezes. It's such basic knowledge.

 

[bracrumbs]

The thing is, I can imagine 2015 Jack being part of that tank business. She had the right image at the time.

But the idea that Viv (actual RIP) flicked through her Filofax and rang the people on the field personally is so beyond silly that it undermines her point.

If Jack had written (and as not part of the RIP message) “I had the opportunity to join her and others driving a tank to David Cameron” then it makes sense and it’s less likely everyone leaps to “lie!” so quickly.

But she has to, HAS TO, eleven-rife everything so much that it’s turned into a story where Viv texts her “mgt crash DCam lawn w/tank ltr. Wbu” and people don’t believe it.

So then Jackie throws a wobbler that everyone is mean to her all the time without ONCE reflecting on why/how that might be.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I typed out a whole thing, after thinking about how @HotesTilaire mentioned the HSE but tl :dr Jack, ffs, read this.

HSE: Information about health and safety at work

www.hse.gov.uk

ETA. Sorry for posting so much, but this has really riled me. As other fraus have pointed out, Jack’s ”tips” really are dangerous. I can’t believe it all got past so many people. Fair enough Jack might have missed it, bit doesn’t anyone along the line of this book have that HSE poster in their workplace and even think about it?

Again, I’m worried I’m being nit-picky, because Jack’s book is nothing to do with health and safety and work But omg it’s all common sense to any of us who have worked in any place ever!

I agree. I've been lying in bed pondering her mallet and knife suggestion of opening tins. It is so irresponsible I can't really believe it. I consider myself a fit and relatively strong individual and wouldn't consider tackling it. Imagine elderly people or those with poor grip (or those with say, arthritic hands ) thinking that as it is endorsed by Jack, with nice Nigella's blessing, it must be a good way of opening something. Broken or lacerated fingers is not an unlikely outcome.
And puncturing the tin once wouldn't be enough, you'd have to do it several times. It is complete lunacy. How she thought of it, and it got into a book beggars belief.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Lads, I think we are about to find out what happens in Dordrecht..

Sergeant Catherine Cawood is investigating

New series Happy Valley in the new year. TOOT TOOT Mofos.

 

[jenny2603]

I know the seeming excuse for it before was the fear of the flying monkeys, but there have been so many consistent jags at Jack that I don’t think the “I didn’t use her name” five year old level argument would stop them. She knows as well as we do that what stops them is the fact she’s right.

It’s frustrating because everything she says is a good point, bizarre highlighting of ableist over incredibly dangerous aside, and I think she’s actually the kind of person some of the squigs might truly listen to but the way it’s presented as sly subtweets (sometimes clearly aimed at here) completely undermines it - and if Jack was to try hold her up as an example of bullying, the digs and indirectness would play in Jack’s favour IMO.

Jack is far too cowardly to hold up TD or any other left leaning writer as an example of bullying. She only goes for obvious hate figures (Hopkins, 30p Lee, some mouth from GB News etc) or small accounts. I have slightly mixed feelings on the subtweeting aspect myself but when I feel irritated I just think of how insane it must drive Jack and feel a great sense of calm wash over me.

 

[elepal]

Very much like Elton John does. The shite he has come out with in relation to George Michael, Freddy Mercury, Stephen Gately et al is absolutely disgusting. Every time some celeb who even has had a hint of a troubled life passes away, there's Elton, talking about how he tried to save them and how they were going to do an album together blah blah schmeh.

Jack should go wash her mouth out for even thinking about saying anything about Viv

George Michael was a fucking excellent human being. Elty J could NEVER. I SAID WHAT I SAID.

 

[Geetbo]

Sex worker

Cook.