Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole

[Hold my beans]

I looked it up on Apple Books- the sample and tips are real. I was almost wishing someone was spoofing us, but nope- it’s all there. Colander knife, tin opener knife, tuna egg rings and all!

The more times I read this, the more WTAF?

She's trolling us all.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Too much effort to update every day? To be fair to her I couldn't be bothered with all the faff of that either, and I did think when she added the number that she'd eventually get sick of updating or lose count.

She moved it to being '17 months sober' (or whatever) for a couple of weeks beforehand, though.

The change to just 'sober' happened just before she giddily let slip about the guardian article, so I do wonder if maybe she'll be talking about a relapse in it.

 

[elepal]

Nooooo! She literally bought a pair of “Rock Chick” trousers from the catalogue? FFS AND the top that’s with them in the catalogue outfit??

View attachment 1837525
She’s edgy AF this one.

Or maybe "catalogue model" is one of the many unspoken jobs she does softly, gently, in the background?

 

[overdueanadventure]

OK. It's your funeral

The colourful typography in the book looks... interesting. My *literal* degree is in graphic design so now Jack has given me something new to make me feel queasy again.

I haven't got the attention span for a slopalong, and can't stand the thought of the waste involved, but I thought I might try one of the thrifty tips: freezing water in a glass bottle, just to see how horribly wrong it could go. Frauen und Herren, I have fallen at the first hurdle. We stopped drinking some months ago and have no suitable bottles in the house. There's an old marmalade jar in the recycling but I don't think that's going to hack it (pun intended). So now I've got to trot to the off-licence instead of buying a rolling pin. And I bet they won't have anything with a cork in it. What am I to do?

Maybe a bottle of Black Tower would work as a sorta kinda rolling pin, but most bottles are pretty tapered, well, bottle shaped, should we say, so can't possibly give even results.

I'm sure I've attempted rolling out pastry like that in my student days, and it's just not very good.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Saturday Thursday night party starts here!

ETA @Lucky Escape brings the receipts! (You’ve been Tinder-ing her again haven’t you )

Also genuinely had to check what bleedin’ day it is!

I think I'd rather be celibate for life!

 

[elepal]

No. There regularly used to be a pamphlet version of their catalogue in the papers (might still be, haven't bought a paper for about 4 years, not because I'm POOR though) and it struck me as Helena Bonham Carter clobber for people who want to look a bit different but can't afford Viv (RIP) Think tartan dresses with mis-matched floaty bits on, shoes you'd find on victorian porcelain ornaments etc. And quite overpriced, so perfect for our Jackie

(ETA this is not a dig at HBC btw, just a "you know what I mean")

I think "pound shop HBC" sums up JB's offering quite well! (apols to any JB fans. Full disclosure: I own many Lucy & Yak dungarees, like the total new-mum cliché that I am)

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

View attachment 1837607

Yep. This from TD.

Can’t help thinking TD should be using her platform to highlight the more important fact of how dangerous it is, including naming the book/person rather than returning to the very Jack style schoolyard-esqe subtweets for likes and headpats.

ETA: or of course she can not comment but she’s choosing to so

 

[FrumpyCat]

Sorry, but huh? Routinely escorted by a posse of hunk like brothers? Come on, is anyone actually buying this drivel?

I think some of her stans are choosing to believe it.

 

[diva.wps]

We need a grown up! Any around to make a new thread please?

 

[ContentCrunch]

RIP VIV

 

[ForgettyBetty]

of all the jack aesthetics i hated this one the absolute most, it was so unnatural and creepy. uncanny valley vibes.

1. Spoiler: nightmare fuel

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The feeling I from it was those toddler beauty pageants where there's a batshit Mom in the background yelling "Smile!" and Jack is doing her best to be smiley and happy and pretty while inside she's utterly out of her depth.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

She‘s been overtly and directly critical in the past and has earned a lot of respect from us for that. Now she’s relaxed into intermittently referring to an idiot to an educated audience rather than running around screeching to the world at large. I assume she has good reason for this, but also it’s worth remembering she’s a cookery writer, not a brave knight sent to fulfil a purist fantasy.

It took her a long, long time to be overtly and directly critical in fairness, there was a lot of nudge nudge wink “if you know who I’m talking about you know” before that, which this is a reversion to.

She’s not a brave knight and she doesn’t owe anyone anything, but the place she’s in is a bit “shit or get off the pot”. Either own what you’re doing or keep it somewhere only the educated audience will see.

 

[anoncowherd]

You know, as nice as it would be to see her truly get her comeuppance from the grift, I think it would really be fitting if people pick up on how dangerous some of these tips are and this is what ends it all.

She’d still have an outlet of blaming others, but instead of the trolls she’d have to turn on her agent, publisher, editor… all the people the book got past, it would really highlight how the issue goes deeper than just Southend’s Pinocchio-In-Chief.

ETA: also the knife thing is particularly nonsensical to me because when I helped at a food bank one of the first things they’d ask a user was if they had a tin opener and if they said no… we would give them one as part of the package! Because yes, inevitably a lot was cans, some don’t have ring pulls and ring pulls can break anyway. Are the TT not doing this because it seems pretty basic?

Thread title.

 

[Bobtheknob]

WHY IS IT ALWAYS FUCKING PRUNES, JACK? WHY?!

Squatty potty - constipated with her own bullshit.

 

[stunrw]

Quoting myself like a ninny, but of course I meant 'bungalow'. It's not shitty, like Jack's, but is quite a bit bigger (FANCY) so is spread over 4 floors.

ETA QUOTE Maybe a bottle of Black Tower would work as a sorta kinda rolling pin, but most bottles are pretty tapered, well, bottle shaped, should we say, so can't possibly give even results. /QUOTE

I have half a bottle of rice wine in the larder, but it's square

After half a bottle of rice wine it's rare one can tell the difference between round and square.......

 

[NellieBoo]

Here’s the post tenderstem, hopefully the instagram link works!

Jack Monroe #182 Extraneous brine

Did she not do a video of her doing her hair around about this time last year, like she was getting ready to go out or something?? My recall of the complete details of something is shocking!

tattle.life

The hair bobble clip is when she most reminds me of Buffalo Bill.

 

[Sack Monroe]

After reading that tweet and going back to look at the photo, oh dear
Looking forward to what she has to say for herself another spammed link to Grifty Kitchen

It's ok, Jack is of traveller heritage surely so thus is just an affectionate hommage.

 

[Whaa?]

I get what you are saying but the likelihood is that the statement coming from the publisher will be about this book's withdrawal from sale. For legal reasons e.g. their Public Liability insurance policy won't begin to cover the possible law suits should they permit it to reach the public.

If somebody has spent their Christmas spoofing multiple pages of a book and photoshopping previously unseen photos of Jack, then uploading them to Google and Apple book archives,

Did not know this was a thing. I can definitely identify with Jacks recipes being unbelievable though, and sadly prepared to extend this to tips. Didn't she float the idea of using empty tin cans as childrens stilts?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Do you remember hen she said her hair was curly when she was a teenager?

She claimed her hair is very curly (as curly as that Brian May wig of hers) when left to grow long. Even though we've seen her with long hair and no curls.

 

[Bugger13]

OK Canal, I'm bored and ill so have a fun hypothetical for you. Here goes...

Your grownup child has been a bit wayward recently and you've grown concerned. In the last 3 month else they appear to have settled down and finally they tell you - they've met someone special! They think this might be 'the one'. You're so happy for them. They want you to meet this special person. They invite you over for dinner. Excited, you arrive on the doorstep just in time. Your child opens the door and brings you through telling you all about the special dinner their partner has cooked. You walk into the dining room. There, standing in front of a bowl of brown slop with a shit-eating grin on their face is your child's new partner. It's Jack!

What do you do?!

Grab the Henry hoover & start vacuuming.