Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole

[That Forensic Man]

I come to you at 4.20am gobsmacked dear hearts
In this Grifty Kitchen preview (from Google books) she bangs on about forensically analysing different muesli ingredients BUT ADMITS BETWEEN SPRING 2022 AND NOW IT'S OBSOLETE !! If it's wrong tough shit figure it out! She put in a last minute revision to essentially prove there is no VBI !!
This is my aneurysm Jack you fucking idiot

HOMEMADE MUESLI (Ve)

I did a lot of very nerdy, mathematical research for this recipe, because I wanted to recreate the best possible muesli for the lowest possible price. This included forensically dissecting both the cheapest supermarket brand and the most expensive high-street version, then noting down what their components were and in what quantities they appeared. I then scoured the shops looking for the cheapest versions of each of the ingredients, sorting them into their essential categories: oats, nuts or seeds, and dried fruits. Once I'd identified the cheapest items from each category, I fiddled with the quantities until I had a muesli that I was happy with. And then I realized that in the year that yawns between handing in my book manuscript to my publisher and it hitting the shelves, the prices of all of these ingredients are very likely to have changed, making my endeavour almost obsolete. But no matter, at the very least this muesli recipe exists as a snapshot into what the cheapest combination of these ingredients were in the spring of 2022, and I'm rather happy with it. Should any of the components skyrocket in price by the time you hold this book in your hands, do feel free to swap it out for something cheaper! On this note, I use salted nuts from the 'snack' section of the supermarket, as they are far cheaper than those in the fruit and veg or baking aisles, and simply soak them in cold water for an hour and pat them dry thoroughly before using. They do retain a little salty background hit, but I have to say, I rather enjoy that.

Thrifty Kitchen

'Jack Monroe is a force for good in the world.' – Nigella LawsonThrifty Kitchen is Jack Monroe’s bumper collection of over 120 brand-new, delicious, low-cost recipes, plus household tricks guaranteed to save you money.Number-one bestselling author and campaigner, Jack is one of the UK’s...

books.google.co.uk

PRICK

 

[Veronicaaa]

And this is actually in HH2. Which she just reposted to refute claiming to be poor

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She really is the definition of a gaslighter. Like, she makes you doubt reality, even when the written evidence is there for all to see. Imagine having to deal with her IRL

 

[Shimmering]

I feel like we should change Grifty Kitchen's nickname to Jack Monroe and the Deathly Hacks.

My aunt is a GP and she warns us to never even wash tin cans for the recycling due to the amount of injuries caused by the sharp metal, let alone go at them with a mallet and knife.

 

[That Forensic Man]

LEAVE JACK ALONE

 

[jenny2603]

A bottle of wine with a cork? Not many povs buying them nowadays.

Jack: I am triggered by the very sight of an email promoting booze

Also Jack: Hey povs just use a bottle of wine if you can't afford a rolling pin.

 

[Veronicaaa]

The market is in absolute tatters. What *can* she mean

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I'm shaking with silent laughter and can't wait to see the rest of the book. So far it's all looking like the black & white part of a JML ad - where basic household tasks look incredibly dangerous and challenging, before having all the problems solved by the new JML gadget. Except there's no solution coming, just more dismal and dangerous 'tips'. Amazing.

 

[Veronicaaa]

She's not happy Nigel for goodness sake!!! She's in the midst of a months long depression!! Do keep up!

 

[Emmapism]

Jack barging onto Twitter to let the world know yet more about HER, immediately after a woman has died......is so on brand.

 

[Claret]

It pains me to say this but Monroe is a manipulative but skilled operator

She's survived appalling behaviours including her nasty characterisation of the Cameron's by using his disabled son, I guess she thought that was fair game because she's used SB for her own purposes since the day he was born. She's survived financial impropriety with her go Henry account and has survived raising monies for charity with no accountability or scrutiny. This is without mentioning the crowd funding debacle and continuing patreon grift

She does it by gaslighting her paypigs, they've been hoodwinked to the point of not being able to see what's in plain sight, right in front of them. Monroe isn't even subtle, crude DARVO attacks do the trick. She knows exactly what she's doing, and she knows exactly who she is. So do we, and so does anybody whose got close to her. Three engagements and counting are testament to that

 

[BurgerLaBill]

its mad how quickly she went from binders / wanting to have her breasts removed to posting thirst trap photos of her baps on twitter to half a million people, 50% of whom are manky middle aged pervy neckbeards

Peaky binders? (FTM chest surgery is no joke, I've had it #merail).

It must be very rare for a gender questioning person to be so comfortable with the most female indicating body parts that she'd find it funny that someone would shout perky blinders about them. Almost as if that too was complete bollox and about nothing more than ticking another box to try to be The Special One.

Not only does Jack not have a job but neither do her massive bunch of friends cos they're able to party til 5am on a Wednesday. It would be envy inducing if it was true. But it's not. So it isn't.

Trans here (FTM). Yep, those parts were the most bothersome. This is exactly why she does my head in. Appropriates everything, she's vile. I swear though if she starts appropriating Traveller ancestry, might just have to delete my account here.

 

[Ooointitot]

I, for one, look forward to more top tips. "If you haven't got central heating or a fireplace, simply roll up some old glue-covered pillowcase-tea-towel créations and set fire to them in the middle of your living room!"

“If your boiler breaks, simply tap into your radiators for instant warmth and a handy little cooking fire! All you’ll need is a mallet, a sharp knife, a length of rubber tubing and a Bunsen burner.
If you cant afford a bunsen burner you can use a welding torch or a V8 engine”



(ETA I’m not neurodivergent and still find the multiple font colours distressing and unreadable)

 

[jenny2603]

LJC is out
SPM is in

5.07 AM?

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ETA got confused because she'd already used that line

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What in the SPM is a 'grizzle'

She was at home by herself. There is no massive group of friends. I'm guessing the 5am tweet was scheduled to make it look as if she was just getting in from a night on the diluting juice with her mates who 100% exist and there are loads of them. Only big narcy Jack got overexcited and announced her return home hours ago because she is very, very stupid.

ETA: Jack can you just do the #TROLLCLAIMS or something because this is really embarrassing for all of us.

 

[Salmonshirt]

OMG VIV IS ACTUALLY RIP

 

[Suffolkmum]

Maybe a bottle of Black Tower would work as a sorta kinda rolling pin, but most bottles are pretty tapered, well, bottle shaped, should we say, so can't possibly give even results.

I'm sure I've attempted rolling out pastry like that in my student days, and it's just not very good.

My mum used a milk bottle (empty) to roll out pastry. All her pies came out with Express Dairies on them.

 

[jenny2603]

Morning Jack
She's not even tagged in this reply so the "leave me alone" is a bit fuckin rich

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Good luck squig

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I didn't know the breakdown was back on. I thought we were on to living her best life with her massive group of mates who are helping her to recover. It's just lie on top of lie. No wonder she's so highly strung.

 

[Emmapism]

Can everyone stop saying wet nuts

 

[noweverythingsucks]

It's awfully creepy that Jack wearing a bra made her massive gang of hunky male friends point out her incredibly normal looking boobs, especially odd considering her previous nipple shots. But at least this guy didn't notice them.

 

[Jelly Bean]

She really is the definition of a gaslighter. Like, she makes you doubt reality, even when the written evidence is there for all to see. Imagine having to deal with her IRL

I know. It is startling. Protesting 'I didn't say I was still poor. Where did I say that?' linking an essay she literally wrote about still being poor and having having no money at all.

 

[NellieBoo]

This mithering entered my head as I shovelled another slice of fruit cake into my gob:

Celebrity Chefs: 'Wonder what to do with Christmas leftovers or what meals to have during this weird inbetween week? Here's some ideas'.

Jack (Who has a cook book released in a matter of HOURS): 'LOOK AT MY TITS! LOOK!'