Jack Monroe #445 A criminal, liar, fraud, grifter and all round heartless asshole

[jenny2603]

Honestly I don't even know why I'm engaging with it but where the fuck does Jack get "deliciously naughty" from? Virtually everyone who knew Westwood remarked on how serious she was about her causes, quite often to the point of being humourless. That's not to say there wasn't humour and wit and many of her designs but Jack's talking about her like she was a winking old auntie slipping you a sweetie behind your mums back and she really wasn't. Of course it's entirely possible that people who knew her for decades got her wrong and Jack "Insight" Monroe saw the true Viv.

 

[shugabug23]

Oh dearest tender one MCM. Chapeau!
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BIB thread title nomination!

MCM, this one’s for you xxx

Spoiler

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THIS is the forensic-ness I love! Like I know this is coz @MaineCoonMama lives Down Under. I know @Valiofthedolls is (I think) California adjacent and always brings not just receipts but social commentary. I think of you lounging by the pool on tattle in gigantic Joan Collins clip on earrings, a bottle of Clique; darling and a fabulous pool person to keep you occupied whilst JM is quiet
I know @Marmalade Atkins ALWAYS has receipts. @MancBee dislikes swears and loves a pithy response. @jenny2603 never fails to make me laugh and her notifications are filled with ‘shugabug23 has reacted with a ’ @Geetbo has a drier sense of humour than the Sahara. If @Yel or @Pocahontas are here WE’RE IN TROUBLE!

I could get into Jack-verse length response and praise each and every one of you y’all. I never, nearing 40 thought an msn style basic bitch chat forum would keep my head above water so many times since Aug. And even better since 3 relatives have outed themselves as Tattlers too

Thanks y’all 🥲 now feck off x

I’m outta Kleenex and using me sleeve

 

[Django]

This is the last, I promise, but using Jack's hacks I've saved myself £1.49 not buying stuff that would have lasted for ages. I have lost a couple of fingers, been poisoned by the plastic in my homemade egg ring and may be blind after ironing glue but thanks for all you do, Jack.

 

[Geetbo]

the remaining nut tasted bad, and a bit stale

We've all been there.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I feel @Deeznutslol has the right name for this mini slopalong

Spoiler: Wet Nuts Hack

I carefully and painstakingly sat my ingredients together perpendicularly
(pls excuse the tattoo, it was free from a Joe Browns Fashion Puddle)

(Yes, I am using my Pots&Co ramekin, do you want me to be unalived?)

I left the nuts for an hour.
I returned and picked them out with my hand and plopped them on a a per towel. They were soaking wet, and I became somewhat over-vigorous in patting them dry, snapping one of the nuts.

This revealed a sodden outer layer of peanut with a dry inner nut. I sliced a few with a rusty razor as I didn’t have a knife. They all have the sodden outer layer

Finally the taste test. The nuts could not be patted to dryness, and tasted like an “al dente” version of a peanut. The soggy outer layer is gross. However the key taste takeaway is - they DO NOT have a salty aftertaste, or background kick, at all. They are salt-free in every way.

In conclusion, this is a waste of food. I’m not a cook so I dunno if there’s a proper way to unsalt salted peanuts, I imagine rinsing might work? I’ve left a few on the side to see if they ever dry out.

overall, this is a waste of time and food so 1/5

 

[Cashio e pepe]

I want to see Jack do a live blog where she prepares one of her meals from scratch. Starting with hammering a knife into a tin of spaghetti hoops and sawing the tin open; and then rinsing the hoops through a colander made from an old t-shirt.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Interesting convo going on in the replies to Pickachoo dude. Guy seems legit. There’s some more but it’s not hot tea and none of these people seem able to thread their tweets properly I’m looking at you in particular red fist account.

Anyway just thought it was interesting to see Jack’s M.O. in action once more. Create hysteria and exploit exploit exploit the tribalism.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Is Pesky Blinders about gypsies/travellers? If so, this squig is absolutely right about how problematic Jack's cosplay is:

 

[jenny2603]

I won’t be too harsh as I know some posters like them. And to be fair they have some OK stuff. But they do a lot of tunics and frumpy dresses with patterns and there’s definitely a lot of odd style choices going on there. The sale page seems to show the weirder things: https://www.joebrowns.co.uk/outlet-clothing/womens/women-sale

They’re also very very middle class. Sort of up there with Molke or Lucy & Yak but without the kewl rainbow washing social media campaigns. *Ducks to avoid getting a smack from Molke fans*

I once had a nice jacket from there and they've been tormenting me with their catalogue ever since. My main problem with their stuff is the same issue I have with Per Una at M&S, you see something think, that looks quite nice, only to discover it has a weird hem, a massive ruffle somewhere odd or a big flower embroidered on the arse. I am just looking for boring mum clothes for work, I don't want a sodding rose bush emerging from my arse. This is why I end up wearing black all the time.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Wow y'all. I've been catching up since Boxing Day but I'm fatigued, hungover and perpetually in a fizzy owl state. This constant stream of piping hot pap from nobjack has been cheering me up immensely after a grim yule.

More importantly and above everything, I really hope all you lovely frau/herr/their are okay? This time can be fraught with nonsense, family strife, stress and worry but here is a cosy respite, you're always amongst friends. Keep your hands on your tins and your eyes on the hammers my beauties.

I'm currently being bullied into 'family' card games and want to spoon my eyes out.

 

[SmillieKylie]

Ugh, Jack has really pissed me off with her word salad tweets about Vivienne Westwood. Loved Viv, have a few items of her clothing, including a beautiful coat I bought 20 years ago when I was in my 20s and had a bit of spare cash. It’s never dated, still wear it today, saw someone else write in this thread that Viv would have had no time for Jack’s histrionics, so true.

Compare Chrissie Hynde’s tweet, someone who knew Viv back in the Sex Pistols days and even modelled for her. That Jack is someone who really knew her, but here you are tweeting in your dreadful style and making it all about you as usual. Chrissie just needed a sentence, said it all

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Lol I was in the pub tonight and at about half 9 my mate gasped and was like “omg Vivienne Westwood is dead!” and let me tell you I ran here. Then saw I had 11 pages to catch up on and was like… the Frauen have probably got this covered. I’m never really surprised by people’s constant desire to centre themselves in tragedy/loss/grief but Jack really does take the biscuit with her tall tales.

Like I highly doubt one of the most famous women in fashion - no matter how much of a rebel and activist - would have considered it a good idea to invite a woman who got fired from a massive corporate contract for saying callous things about a dead disabled child to then invade his parents’ lawn on a fucking tank. As an anti-fracking stunt it had shock value and it got reach. With Jack there, even after her forced apology to the Camerons, it would have become a circus for all the wrong reasons. You don’t get as famous as Viv when you’re not a savvy media operator. It’s so obviously a lie.

Also sorry but I found it so funny when one of the canal wrote under a spoiler “actual RIP unlike Viv” just as it was announced but it goes without saying right, get those distinctive necklines on all the angelic robes up there, girl.

 

[hoopdedoo]

Slight merail, but after my cousin finished her fashion design degree she did a half-year apprenticeship in Viv's workshop (this was when Viv's clothes were being made in limited quantities and manufactured in the UK). My cousin said she learned *so* much about pattern making, choosing and cutting fabric, and tailoring.

Viv wasn't just about being outrageous - she learned the technical side of her craft in and out, and used those skills to realize her vision. Unlike a certain smol pixie who knows eff-all about cookery and recipe-writing and tries to blag her way into gigs as an "expert".

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Thanks @Marmalade Atkins and @MaineCoonMama I never would have reached this conclusion on my own but it all makes sense now

Everything about Jack is mortifying tbh but the “my friend” thing makes my arse clench involuntarily. You don’t have friends, Jack, you have people who are briefly useful to you before you discard them.

Also as mentioned by someone already, why is she “friends” with yobs who’ll draw attention to her tits by yelling “PERKY BLINDERS” when she enters a room? Like a) it’s not fucking 2002 in a lad’s mag and b) would someone who apparently needs security to traverse the retirement community she lives in want to be made conspicuous like this? The fact that supposedly smart people can see tweets like this in close succession and not see that 2+2=344 in Jackland infuriates me.

its mad how quickly she went from binders / wanting to have her breasts removed to posting thirst trap photos of her baps on twitter to half a million people, 50% of whom are manky middle aged pervy neckbeards

 

[That Forensic Man]

She's getting eaten alive on the bird app
Mallet knife is the new meta
Bonus peaky blinders lore

jack monroe - Twitter Search / Twitter

archived 29 Dec 2022 19:46:06 UTC

archive.md

 

[Jelly Bean]

Speaking of filthy chefs - this is from the Stacey Solomon thread. Her gormless husband has released a cookbook and his nails make Jack's look pristine.
It is foul.
WARNED.

Spoiler: 🤮

.

 

[blurstoftimes]

I’m fairly sure she hasn’t applied for a “normal” job since 2012, but if she had it certainly wouldn’t be at entry level.

Even at the height of the poverty (when she was trudging around performatively handing out CVs instead of applying online) and reducing herself to applying for a job at OF ALL PLACES (wait for it) Ann Summers (shudder), it was as Assistant Manager. A job for which she had zero experience or skill set and by her own account acted like a twat. Wonder why they didn’t want her?

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And if the below was ever true about her, my how things have changed… (SPOILER: I don’t think it was ever true). Heartening to see that even back then she thought of herself as “generally brilliant” tho.

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Also lol that she has “management experience” (probably got it during her degree)

Linky link. Love how she couldn’t manage childcare for her fire service job but could easily manage it for some of these. And I can’t decide whether “Kwik Fit Fitter” or “jobs I’m overqualified for” is the best bit, so I’ll leave it to y’all.

I'm Going On A Job Hunt

I'm going on a job hunt, I'm going on a job hunt, I'm not scared, i'm not scared... So, for what feels like the millionth time since I left the Fire Service, I'm trawling the Internet and the High ...

web.archive.org

why was she so against applying online? I always can't help but compare my life with Jack's because we became single mums at a very similar age/time and my mum originally sent me her blog back in 2013 or whatever to help me with recipe ideas LOL.

when my kid was a toddler i spent a couple of years working in a sandwich shop managed by someone addicted to methodrone (the best thing about this job was purposely making shit sandwiches for the patronising businessmen i couldn't stand) and literally sprinting to pick her up from nursery so i wasn't charged any late fees, then went home and worked on my online psychology degree at night. Nothing about jack's struggle as a single mum is unique ffs it was difficult for most of us.

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

What exactly about her is like Tommy Shelby? The full senuous mouth versus the gummy shark grin? The tough reticent hardcase versus the oversharing neurotic desperado always crying like a Sicilian widow about her shit life online? The proud provider for his family versus the baroness of begging bowls?

The hat.

 

[MM85]

I don't know what you're all talking about, when I got a food bank parcel, they gave me a knife and a hammer to open my tins.



No they didn't. I got a pairing knife, chopping board AND a tin opener. Only the one of which I used for.... opening tins

fuck you Jack.

Spoiler: Merail- MH related

I'm having a tough time with my MH recently, this time of year is triggering for all sorts of reasons, and Jack breadcrumbing and pretending really fucks me off. It's not a tap you can turn off.

As you were ninnies, thankspaceyou for being probably the best place on the tinterwebs

 

[LadyGarden]

Also sorry but I found it so funny when one of the canal wrote under a spoiler “actual RIP unlike Viv” just as it was announced

That was me #awkward

I did momentarily wonder if I'd inadvertently ripped a hole in the cosmos and caused the ultimate Viv chaos.

Then I remembered I'm not Jack and the world does not revolve around me so I moved swiftly on.

Does anyone remember the time Madonna personally contacted Jack to ask her to play both lead roles in her film? Luckily Jack was able to accommodate that one on her one day off per year.

(Just to be on the safe side - if Madge can mark herself safe I'd be most grateful. Thank(space)you)