Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

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jenny2603

jenny2603

Shimmering said:
I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face over the egg rings.

It's blowing my mind. You've no tin opener so you'll need two knives and a mallet to get both ends of the can off.

I will hold my hands up and say I hadn't heard of an egg ring before tonight. Literally just living my life, undisturbed, fully unaware of the existence of egg rings.
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I'm on Amazon looking at egg rings because thanks to Jack, I now fear a "tit, no egg rings" moment. I'd never given them a moments thought until today.

AndrewsDaddy said:
Yeah - did rosemary just pay them a fee to process the complaints short term 🤔? Amazing she got someone of Rosemary calibre to start with - I think they all had middle class guilt or ❄ experiences to cover up like Nigella
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I think Leggy might have put a word in.
 
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Cookiecookie

Cookiecookie

Mrs Peel said:
Jack, if you are reading this, and I know you are...

I'm assuming Agent Adrian suggested that you start actually doing some promotion on twitter, such as providing links to the book etc.

I'm pretty certain that he didn't mean sending links to the very people who you claim are trolling you, you daft mare.

Hint: they aren't going to purchase a copy.
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Or if they do, it'll be to laugh at.

I'm not volunteering as tribute though. Being in the upside down, it would take too long to get here.
 
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DinosaurSenior

DinosaurSenior

Her "look at me" tartan trews and see thru top pic reminds me of the little children at Baby Ballet, when they are asked to make a big stretch and smile.

Lots of "eeeeeeeee!!!".

Also I have heart shaped egg rings. They don't work
 
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AndrewsDaddy

AndrewsDaddy

heretoreaditall2019 said:
Wtf how are oven gloves on the second list of things to add in the future yet a permanent marker and jars of assorted sizes made it to the must haves? 🤯🤯
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All avoiding the issue that a working oven you can afford to run and is available for a couple of hours, you have time to use isn’t a thing for most low income households especially smaller ones or those on min wage jobs - the younger prettier benefits mums use airfriers and microwaves… the students don’t use ovens
 
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Valiofthedolls

Valiofthedolls

Smellycat18 said:
From feisty, battlefield- ready Barbie Jack to little Mx Sunshine in 3, 2, 1…. My head is spinning.

Matt Gloss must have been back in touch, making her feel softly, gently, painstakingly better.

What a melt!
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She’ll be disappointed to learn there’s no casho for him to spend on her. He’s spent all his change on a smol Stetson and a Farrow and Ball parsley liquor-coloured suit with matching belt.
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ThatGeebag

ThatGeebag

Sideboard Bob said:
Shuggsy B, I can’t thank you enough for finding this all!

I don’t know if I’m being nit-picky, but the way she’s shown these lists has really annoyed me.

Jack claims to be neurodiverse (only when she’s using it as an excuse). But I really am neurodiverse, so adhd and dyslexia makes these lists SO hard to read! I mean, I can read them, but at first glance it’s all a blur. There is no good reason for it to be formatted this way.


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I don't think you're being nit picky at all. I am a colourblind frau and this was painful for me. In fact I skipped over this bit instantly when I saw it.

My 12 year old nephew could do better formatting than this eejit.
 
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Terrible

Terrible

jenny2603 said:
Can you hint without landing anyone in bother? I love real life tea.
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Please do!

I am eggringless :cry: but have scone cutters if I ever got desperate, I suppose. I do have three sieves, and two colanders though, so am probably too posh for Jack’s books. Might buy the Joe Swash one instead.
 
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DinosaurSenior

DinosaurSenior

The Tattle adverts continue to be weird. I find the "My Love Doll" one extremely offensive. The fact that they don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" is just horrendous 🤓
 
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OwlRightsReserved

OwlRightsReserved

God, those tartan trews are something else. Dreadful.

Terrible said:
Please do!

I am eggringless :cry: but have scone cutters if I ever got desperate, I suppose. I do have three sieves, and two colanders though, so am probably too posh for Jack’s books. Might buy the Joe Swash one instead.
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I've got a lot of biscuit cutters for all those biscuits I don't ever make, so now I'm tempted to try and make lobster-shaped fried eggs tomorrow.
 
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W

WeCouldBeGrifted

Jelly Bean said:
The premise of the grifty book seems to be devising complicated, potentially expensive and dangerous ways of performing simple tasks which normally need inexpensive safe tools eg tin openers and rags.
How marvellously useful and helpful.
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😂 It’s incredible so much so that I honestly can’t believe it’s real.

I mean we all knew it was going to be rubbish but this… this is way beyond that. I wasn’t expecting Jack’s tips on how to cut / mangle / burn your hands off too. Impressive.

Had I cobbled this together 20+ years ago for my Food Tech GCSE my teacher would’ve told me to stop taking the piss.

How on earth has this been published? How is Jack and her publisher not totally embarrassed by the book’s contents?!

I refuse to believe that this is real. Can’t be!
 
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O

Obscuredbyclouds

People-huv-tae-know said:
That 'book' is so insulting, it assumes the recipient could afford things like frylight oil and all the other bollocks she reccomends.
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I think this will backfire, its so insulting. I am probably her target audience, grew up upper middle class, worked minimum wage for a few years, and doing quite well now.
Her tips are ridiculous. i still think im being "lah di dah" because we buy the garlic frylight (i dont carr e i love garlic). I dont own a knife big enough to block food from a pan (i have a lid, or a plate at push)
 
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