Jack Monroe #444 Jack's constant inner conflict over wanting to be simultaneously envied and pitied

[Mme Coco]

Spot-on, squig. Classic example of splitting and projection. I predict 2023 is the year Jack’s final book tanks and formal investigations from Action Fraud and HMRC kick off. Can’t wait to see who she will try to blame for that. Unfortunately for Jack, she’s not hit rock bottom yet because the biggest lies she tells are to herself. Everything about her life is either fabricated or embellished and it’s this, not Twitter, which is doing an absolute number on her mental health. She can try and self-soothe with addictive behaviours but it does seem to be closing in on her now. Sometimes I feel sorry for her as she is so utterly disordered and then I remember how she treats SB and her Patreons. Actions & consequences innit.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS ARE THE BEST! TOOT TOOT! Shite the spoiler didn’t work and the pages are all over the place 🫣 am not technical Frau apologies! Pages are numbered though!

Fuck me, “crusading work” and “burns with holy rage”?! That’s some problematic language right there.

Even without the HIGHLY problematic language, the shitting dog lying poverty faker is hardly Richard I, FFS

 

[jenny2603]

To be honest, I don’t really even understand her explanation of how to open a can, does she mean you should stick the knife into the top of the can and bash the end of it with a hammer? If you somehow actually end up opening the can without injuring yourself, you’re 100% going to have destroyed the knife which is arguably going to be more expensive to replace than if you just bought a 50p can opener?!
I mean maybe her suggestion is better than nothing if you’re in an emergency and don’t have a tin opener, but she cannot seriously be suggesting that as a long term method of opening cans.
Sorry I’m rambling here but I’m just baffled by this.

I think instead of people sending this book to foodbanks where it could fall into the hands of vulnerable service users, people should just buy £20 worth of 50p tin openers and send them instead. Oh and try to avoid donating cans without a ring pull where possible. As Jack helpfully informs us dead people can't riot and I should think that includes people who've severed an important vein trying to open a tin with a fucking knife.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Spoiler: Jack attempts a thread

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I admit I only skimmed this latest thread but “notoriously deliberately private address” made me

What the literal fuck is “financially abusive”?

Amazing that none of these offline ACTUALLY CRIMINAL “things” done to “her family” have resulted in charges or prosecution. Must be because they’re deliciously ordinary and don’t have the protection of Essex PoPo Celebrity Squad?

ETA: Defamation, libel AND slander? Oh My! Better call your pro bono no win no fee lawyer, Jack (and maybe ask him to explain what those words mean. See if he’ll explain it to you gratis, free)

 

[Foxvint]

1 broken engagement; they're a bit of a prick. 3 broken engagements; you're a collosal prick.

 

[Foxvint]

No words.

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Wtf. A colander is a pound you self indulgent clown. Next up- don't bin that half a melon after eating the inside, it makes a great bike helmet, toot toot

 

[blurstoftimes]

ah I am now experiencing my own jack-style inner conflict: i am both flattered to have had my words chosen for the thread yet devastated that it took recognition away from 'The mice ate my paperwork'

 

[Clovis]

Erm. No Jack, that’s not even remotely a good idea, unless you fancy bleeding out on your kitchen floor before the ambulance arrives. What is this dangerous babble.


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So, too poor to have a can opener (60p at Tesco by the way) but assumes you have unwanted sharp knives and a hammer or mallet?

I don't think I even have a mallet

 

[jenny2603]

Can someone please, please, please get a doctor, nurse or paramedic who cover A&E to review this book because frankly based on what we've seen so so far Jack is trying to kill and injure people.

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Im jumping ahead from page 12, but her little dedication to her son is disgusting. Faithfully picking up elastic bands and sticking an extra jumper on? Wtaf. Well done, son, for suffering with some kind of loyalty and dignity? A fucking child!

Wait. Nevermind. Shes lying.

 

[jenny2603]

Is she going to own a house by way of someone
leaving it in the shed, deeds soaked in mouse pee? How could she justify it? I imagine the squigs won’t mind her being a homeowner because they all are so it’ll just be glossed over. LIKE THE EELS HAVE BEEN GLOSSED OVER

Jack could have a giant Faberge egg constructed for her to live in and the paypigs would still be sending the cashos and insisting she needs help for being a poor smol fragile ickle pixie. The neckbeards don't want their money going to some real poor who doesn't post selfies for them to wank over, what a nice guy wants is a raunchy piece who will indulge their saviour complex and dress up perving on a younger woman as a moral duty. One can't help but notice that they never cape up for James from Depher the way they do for ickle Jack.

 

[jenny2603]

I remember being so confused by all her references to trolls etc as there was normally nothing by praise under her tweets (things have obv shifted now) but it's clear she reads these threads as if they are messages being sent TO her. A bit like when she'd jump into the comments section on the guardian.

Main character syndrome.

It's like when you tell kids "I was talking about you not to you".

It's quite extraordinary. All that time spent reading here and she's still not grasped that people want her to stop lying and grifting. Instead she's running about Twitter claiming people want her dead when no one has said that. How is it possible to be as stupid as Jack and still sentient? She has the reading comprehension of a squashed grapefruit.

Random Person: I think Jack should put her Patreon on hold until she's caught up.
Jack: Oh my God she's trying to kill me using words on the internet. I will now invent a special Celebrity Squad to frighten her into shutting up.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I have a twitter account and follow Jack, but have never interacted with her. The last thing I want to do is talk to her.

I won't interact with her, but I do have a real urge to post this under every single thing she tweets.

Spoiler: Childish, not sorry.

 

[Geetbo]

God this is some good shit.



Also very pleased to see that the Westboro Wig finally got an outing in the book preview.

 

[jenny2603]

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I know lots is going on, but I've been ruminating on this for hours now. Egg rings (which tbh I didn't really know were a thing up until now) appear to be all of £2 from Asda, presuming you were desperate for roundy eggs.

And wouldn't a tin, sanded or no, scratch many pans to shit? Proper aneurysm territory for me here.

I've had my skint moments over the years but I can't say I've ever stood in my kitchen and uttered the words "shit, no egg rings". Surely anyone in that situation would do what millions of people do every day and fry the egg without a ring.

 

[shugabug23]

LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS ARE THE BEST! TOOT TOOT! Shite the spoiler didn’t work and the pages are all over the place 🫣 am not technical Frau apologies! Pages are numbered though!

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Poor child. Poor family. Poor anybody who is in her sphere. She's lost and needs professional help. This is not drunk tweeting. This is clearly either daytime narcotic abuse and/or serious mental health issues. Get help Jack. Ring the Samaritans if you have nobody else.

She's an incredibly malevolent narcissist that uses graphic, emotive language as a weapon to silence people, and to gain people's sympathy. These are the nasty games she plays.

 

[Deeznutslol]

To be honest, I don’t really even understand her explanation of how to open a can, does she mean you should stick the knife into the top of the can and bash the end of it with a hammer? If you somehow actually end up opening the can without injuring yourself, you’re 100% going to have destroyed the knife which is arguably going to be more expensive to replace than if you just bought a 50p can opener?!
I mean maybe her suggestion is better than nothing if you’re in an emergency and don’t have a tin opener, but she cannot seriously be suggesting that as a long term method of opening cans.
Sorry I’m rambling here but I’m just baffled by this.

 

[NellieBoo]

If she has CCTV around her home she would have seen the neon sign parcel being delivered, wouldn't she?

 

[Veronicaaa]