Jack Monroe #440 Gently navigating the hinterland of plagiarism

[Yer_wha?!]

So that's her costume f*cked when the imaginary host of the imaginary party greets Jack with a cheery "here, let me take your coat"

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Has the agent dumped her or are we just joking cos of the I've been trying to contact you tweet??

She LEFT!

Now Jack’s back with the EVIL agent she claimed ROBBED HER BLIND by STEALING ALL HER ROYALTIES for either one or two books for either a 3 year period from 2015-2018 or by never paying her any from 2014 and that she either noticed immediately or had such “low self esteem” it took her ages to notice. She’s not too sure of the exact lie story.

 

[Amanda Lin]

The beach story was hilarious I haven’t stopped lolling about. The denouement with the armed solider was just one of the most amusing tales I have heard, no wonder her dozens of friends could not contain themselves.

I hope I don’t see a gold covered trifle now or I fear I will have a medical incident from .

 

[mince]

Her invalid friend Bunbury died. He was quite exploded.

BIB. Pronunciation is key: have we ever known her have a valid one?

 

[Hollaaa]

You just know Jack spent yonksss teasing those tendrils of hair out from underneath the crappy caps

And done a lost bobble face when she gently, painstakingly overdid it and had to start again.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I'm sorry but that Pesky Blinders look is SO tit. The whole point of the aesthetic is layered sharp tailoring. She looks like she's shoved on anything from the coat rack over her pyjamas to take the bins out on a cold night

 

[Sideboard Bob]

The beach story was extra weird as wasn’t there some thing about big Dave in the media before/after talking about that beach ?

I think he said about the beach, “fun and sunshine, there’s enough for everyone”.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I think he said about the beach, “fun and sunshine, there’s enough for everyone”.

Excellent
Can some kind frau possibly retrieve the wonderful photo of Jack in her steam punk leggings falling down the slippery gangway? I *think* it was either @Silver Linings or @Marmalade Atkins who did it.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She's certainly changed agents- we don't know if she jumped or was dumped.

Jump and dump just like burger boi.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Excellent
Can some kind frau possibly retrieve the wonderful photo of Jack in her steam punk leggings falling down the slippery gangway? I *think* it was either @Silver Linings or @Marmalade Atkins who did it.

 

[Foxvint]

This tit pisses me off. This is not original to her whatsoever. Back when Cameron was PM there was a viral tweet that went along the lines of 'if you see someone stealing food or baby products, no you didn't'. Its basic human decency imo but to jack an her halfwits it's original, quotable - and crucially- hers.

 

[Lazarus]

Following on from the last thread, everyone is saying Jack looks like she’s straining for a poo in her Homeless Tommy Shelby costume. I actually think she looks like she’s in the middle of an eye test. The optician has asked her whether the picture is clearer with one or two and she’s midway through that panicked moment when you can’t quite decide and don’t want to get it wrong.

View attachment 1815698

I know her hands aren’t fully visible but doesn’t she have tattoos which would be clear here?

 

[FrumpyCat]

That beach story. She saw that sign one day an thought how do i make this about me being adorably naive and spontaneous didn't she. Then she sat an wrote herself a little fan fiction.

Also its a probably a moot point as there's never been any evidence of friends in 10 years of an overshared life but of course she's the sort of person who'd hear about someone's personal spiritual practice and go im gonna do that but BETTER. Bet she's an absolute leech who people have to hide everything from.

Parts of it probably happened.

I think the car-owning friend may be an early appearance of Old Harold, as Jack attempts to lure him in from friend zone to love interest (and open wallet) using the manic pixie dreamgirl technique.

A bit of love bombing from quirky Jack ,and, surprise! They find themselves falling softly, gently, deeply in love. From what a frau says (who has insider knowledge) Jack must have thought she had hit the jackpot, hence the scampering off to mortgage advisors.

Reality. Went for a walk, fell over, picked up some stones, Jack probably cooing and exclaiming and holding up to the light - so adorable!, took a photo of a boat. Jack started to walk on the beach and her friend said, that's not open to the public so she came back.

 

[CarmenGhia]

She's been quiet because she's been having that lip filler topped up. Full on quacky duck effect.

Even Cillian Murphy has distanced himself from the Peaky Blinders look for his rare public appearances. He's gone on record as saying he hates that haircut they made him have.

 

[Hold my beans]

I think it’s because she’s had to take out her surgically attached Tiffany earrings and she’s devastated to be apart from them.

Oh no!! She lost one of her earrings didn't she?

 

[jenny2603]

This tit pisses me off. This is not original to her whatsoever. Back when Cameron was PM there was a viral tweet that went along the lines of 'if you see someone stealing food or baby products, no you didn't'. Its basic human decency imo but to jack an her halfwits it's original, quotable - and crucially- hers. View attachment 1815879

I wish I'd seen that tweet BEFORE I went to the shops. I apprehended a thieving lower class bleep and her illegitimate brats in the supermarket earlier today. Of course they gave me some sob story about being starving but I just said "should have shut your legs" and everyone clapped and cheered. Anyway the brats have been sent to evil Mr Bighams pie workhouse and the mother is in slut gaol. But seeing that tweet makes me wonder if I did the right thing.

 

[Ablemabel]

This tit pisses me off. This is not original to her whatsoever. Back when Cameron was PM there was a viral tweet that went along the lines of 'if you see someone stealing food or baby products, no you didn't'. Its basic human decency imo but to jack an her halfwits it's original, quotable - and crucially- hers. View attachment 1815879

Typical Jack. Why use 12 words when 45 will make you look like a gobshite?

Also does this apply to Charlie Bighams? I've noted that they've gone up to £9.50.

 

[Ooointitot]

DEAR GOD AMAZON, DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?

I have never BEEN more insulted

PS - To be fair to the algorith, this is based on the purchase of a spendy airfryer (my christmas gift to me) and some really really nice coffee beans as an expensive treat, so I am indeed Jack's target audience.

 

[Lazarus]

She's been quiet because she's been having that lip filler topped up. Full on quacky duck effect.

Even Cillian Murphy has distanced himself from the Peaky Blinders look for his rare public appearances. He's gone on record as saying he hates that haircut they made him have.

Off topic but I do not see the appeal in Cillian Murphy one bit. I think he looks like he’s on a methadone programme, waiting to go into rehab (no judgment, fraus and herren, just sayin).

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Off topic but I do not see the appeal in Cillian Murphy one bit. I think he looks like he’s on a methadone programme, waiting to go into rehab (no judgment, fraus and herren, just sayin).

On topic, I do not see the appeal in Jack Monroe one bit. It’s unfathomable to me how she keeps snagging all these coincidentally rich OHs (LOADS of judgement, fraus and herren).