New-time poster allert here.
The first time I came on a JM thread was when, surprisingly, it came up in my Google suggestions and I really did not like it. What did this person, who just tried to make affordable recipes for those who need them, have done so wrong to get all this hate?
Fast forward a few weeks after unfollowing JM on Twitter because I was getting annoyed with her cringe-worthy posts and began reading a few threads here. And then reading thread #31 where she responds hereself. Oh my....(I also very much enjoyed reading the posts on class btw. As an EU-import in Scotland who worked both at one of the most prestigious universities and a wee ex-polytechnic, lots of recognisable observations and things I first did not understand when I moved here in 2006).
I won't go into all the ways she annoyed me in thread #31 (or on her Twitter), just what stood out for me. I am not surprised she has been diagnosed with a form of autism. My dad got diagnosed with Aspergers (suspected Aspergers as my grandparents could not be consulted anymore) when he was in his late fifties. The way she keeps on responding out-of-touch to some of the comments and questions in that thread is like reading a discussion with him. Someone so tangled up in their own narrative they can't escape it anymore, not showing any awareness of how this way of responding rubs people the wrong way and not 'getting' the point of some questions/remarks and then answering very literally or detailed.
My dad also has a history of leaving jobs and social clubs through blown-up conflicts (no ability to reign himself in or consider the impact on family members - he once deliberately cause a ruckus at town hall over some local planning thing and admitted he had expected to be taken tot he police station in advance. He didn't care it was my mum's birthday and embarrassing for her). And when my parent divorced he was quite manipulative towards me and my sister (we were in our thirties and he didn't like we were not playing along with the victim-role he assigned himself). For relatives and friends, social handicap like high-functioning autism remains challenging. My sister and I often ask each other: Is this dad's Aspergers, or is he just being a dick? In other words, does he know better than to behave like this or not? I still often do not know what I can and cannot expect of him (he is also very generous with his time and money if I explicitly ask for help). And I really do love him and I also feel for him and his inability to solve social conflict better, because he does crave connections and friendship. My husband has a good friend / musical partner with Apergers and struggles with this too: where does Paul's autism start and stop and how much is his own responsibility?
Anyway, because he's my father and Paul a friend, we take the effort to reflect on our interactions and will give them the benefit of doubt or keep loving them anyway. But I don't think public figures can ask the same of their audiences. Social handicaps are no joke and hard to navigate, but like physical handicaps there is help and adjustments for navigating the world. And just like blind people don't drive cars, perhaps public figures with a social handicap should not manage their own social media. For their own safety first, but for others too.
As for JM in the public eye, I am just done with following her and the repetitive victim story. I have some of her books and like some of her recipes, though they are hit/miss. I have enjoyed her suggestions for reducing food waste and substituting ingredients (I know this can be a joke as well), which can be a great encouragement for people who want to cook more and are intimidated by long lists of ingredients/having to buy special things. It's a shame it all has to come with a side of 'poor-old-me-could-not-buy-a-house-at-30' and the generous pinches of 'look-at-me-being-quirky/whacky-not-giving-a-shit-but-pleeeeease-like-me'. She's definitely lost me there and it makes me not want to spend money on her work.
(And fuck her for all that kitten stuff)