Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I’m sure someone asked. Are there no Sloppies this year?

 

[Bellaboos]

I have a pineapple plant in my kitchen

I hope the kitchen isn’t at the front of the house and that said pineapple is not upside down !

 

[Ollies01]

I got Pistachio Milk Yum Yum Thank you Slopbot

 

[Poula Pooka]

Jumping in on my lunch break to say disappointed on the lack of chaos last night. Not so sure she trolled us though, probably hadn’t even noticed about the thread not working until she read it here!

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Maybe too soon but nominating Like a very patient, precise, vengeful little chimpanzee For thread title

Wonderful thread title!

 

[That Forensic Man]

Thank(space)you - I wasn’t sure of that reference as “parmentier” doesn’t come up searching her Twitter. It’s even got exactly the same sprig of rosemary FFS!

It's featured in the wiki fake recipes dear heart

Jack Monroe 2 Wiki

If you're here and you are new to Jack, please go to [URL='https://tattle.life/wiki/jack-monroe/']Wiki 1[/URL], where we have lots of info at the top for new frauen / herren. is dedicated to Jack's antics in 2022 and notable chaoi 2012-2021. For more detail on these, see the timeline on wiki...

tattle.life

 

[TheCat'sMother]

This is WILD. If I was Jack I’d be absolutely shitting myself about an exposé.

I read this earlier today & Jack immediately sprang to mind.

Watch yer back Jack!

 

[hoopdedoo]

View attachment 1794572
Just a reminder that our new tea-time classic serial, GRIFT AND GRIFTABILITY, continues this Sunday with episode 3 of the much-loved drama.
Mr Elton has persuaded Emma Woodhouse to paint a portrait of Highbury's newest and most mysterious resident, Miss Monroe.
But will she be too much for Emma's skills to capture on canvas?

That's GRIFT AND GRIFTABILITY, Sunday tea-time.

I'm looking forward to this much more than the next installment of "Harry and Meghan's [Whine-Fest] Documentary".

I got a keyboard. I can't sing or read music. I should do well then, that is all.

Very much looking forward to your bathroom-tile-echo performance of a Tom Waits song!

 

[Jelly Bean]

I'm probably having a false memory about the abduction, but when Jack talked about it wasn't there some significance about the coat she (Jack) was wearing? It was red I think? But I can't recall why it was relevant.

 

[frankychester]

Yes. And had the sh*t tattoo completed on or before the 15th.

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Maybe it wasn't upside down and was actually stealth marketing for the Saudi blood-money breakaway golf tournament LIV. No way she'd be above taking their coin.

 

[hoopdedoo]

Jack trying to be down with the kidz by using what she thinks are regional dialects

 

[That Forensic Man]

Clever friends, does anyone know how to add photos to that there wiki thing? I don't want to touch it in case I do a Kate Hayes and start deleting shit. I have all the screenshots of Grift and Griftability 1 and 2 ready but I'm only on my phone (laptop died earlier this year.)
If it helps I can put them all behind a spoiler and someone smarter than me could put them in the wiki?
For a Gen X Frau I'm such a Boomer.

What I've been doing is posting pics in a thread (or behind a spoiler) first then opening them in a new tab and copying the url into this bit in the wiki editor.
So if you post them I could add them to the wiki, if you tell me where to put them dear heart

 

[Fruitjack]

If I had a Twitter account I might consider tagging her in a series of angry tweets about the lack of vegan mince pies in Aldi this year.

Gregg’s are miles better dearheart

 

[Yer_wha?!]

She claimed that her family were so poor when she was growing up that her dad had to hitch-hike 30 miles to work whilst wearing his firefighting uniform, which was particularly humiliating.

Original screenshot from @Sparemethebollocks - but see also the this discussion on thread 380, for instance.

The canal has since speculated that her love of particularly awful trousers - whether they be eye-searing Viv Westwood (RIP) tartan numbers, or £9 cuffed denim joggers - comes from some sort of humiliating-trousered solidarity with her father.

Thank(space)you!

 

[Hold my beans]

I have no idea about these things but what happens if sales don't cover the advance that's long been spent? Does she have to pay the difference back?

 

[GoLando]

It’s still there, I think it’s called ‘Jack Monroe off Twitter’

Thanks. I had found that but I thought the earlier comment implied stuff was being posted today.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Not sure my beloved one?
If she did make a performative advent calendar I'm certain it would have contained a picture of one of her faces behind each door and a shiny penny piece on the big day.

I must have dreamed it then, tender one - losing what marbles I had left.

 

[sleepingsatellite]

What a fascinating read. 100% agree that a lot of it could easily be talking about Jack, with The Poverty replacing the cancer. Particularly interesting to read how 'after years of carefully spinning an elaborate backstory of fictionalized stories, she had lost control of her own narrative'.

Jack - here's a suggestion for free. Why not come clean and agree to some kind of long read journalism piece which highlights all of the lies? At this stage it's your best bet for forgiveness and a career reset. You know what the alternative is? This:

"When Finch turned her phone back on and scrolled through her texts and emails, she realized life as she knew it was over.

“From that point on, I was cut off pretty quickly from everything,” she tells me. “I slowly started to see people blocking me on Instagram and other social media. It was so universal that I don’t know if an email went out or everyone just got together and decided ‘no thank you.’”"

I would expect JM to see what happens to Finch in the aftermath of this piece. If it goes well then expect a mea culpa but it would be impossible to accept with doubting how genuine it is.

 

[House of Carbonara]

The meal plans seem fine to me . This is the one that was emailed this week -
View attachment 1794816
although definitely not without issues such as the constant ads/aff links for pointless or overpriced stuff with ridiculously unbelievable stories ( like a recent post where she claimed she always bought a new cutlery set for each Christmas/family gatherings) , FYF20 does at least acknowledge that it’s not so much about only spending £20 and more about knowing how to shop around, stretch ingredients, batch cook , make fake aways etc . And more importantly, unlike Jack she doesn’t claim to be a campaigner or to be creating luxury restaurant style 3 course meals out of a tin of own brand spam and the contents of the neighbours compost bin

Used to follow her, stopped when the sponsored links became a bit much. She's done a good job enlightening people over the years though, and still miles better than JM.

 

[JojoJellyfish]

Do you know what's as solid as her slop? Her credibility.

I now have an Ashford & Simpson earworm

 

[definitelynotvlad]

I have a pineapple plant in my kitchen

Me too!