Jack Monroe #434 The price of jam: Will it be £40 by the end of the year?

[DinosaurSenior]

I can’t look at @Nottonightbabe in the same way, I feel like I’ve see Jimmy out fogging or something. Addicted to the 8earzy drama though. Court next week!

Hotes, dear, is "fogging" something unpleasant that I should not google? These threads have already taught me not to look up "pegging" .

I already knew about "teabagging", as I believe it's a way of making a brew in a slow cooker

 

[Hold my beans]

We already know what the post is going to be.

*Mirror selfie of Jack dressed like a teenage boy but with tits or midriff or fanny on display*

We made it. 56,000 boxes, 27,000 cups of tea, six freight lorries and many hours and myself and SB

Thought this was about posting out Patreon rewards until I got to there

 

[Notmycat]

Looking at Jacks's website, in the weeks after HH2 she posted no less than 6 recipes, and then 4 weeks ago about Dead people can't riot and donations to the foodbank. Was the 6 recipes trying to send HH2 down the bottom of the page, the same tactic as Twitter in burying all her crap with What's your favourite, do you remember?

 

[Lazarus]

We already know what the post is going to be.

*Mirror selfie of Jack dressed like a teenage boy but with tits or midriff or fanny on display*

We made it. 56,000 boxes, 27,000 cups of tea, six freight lorries and many hours and myself and SB reach our new home. This will be the one that I paint and love and everything will be the best but also I am very poor so don’t stop the cashos rolling in. Not slept for a week and my neck, shoulder, brain and crumbly teeth are sending sharp pains through my sternum. But I bravely face this cacophony of challenges, despite the onomatopoeic nature of my defenestration… (continues for 50,000 words).

Two weeks later:

* I’m looking for some gentle legal advice from you lovely lot in the comments club.
After decades of living in insecure housing and living through the most bone crushing poverty, I finally achieved what I always wanted - a forever home for me and SB.
As you know I have many, MANY dear friends and acquaintances, most of whom would give their lives for me, such as the lovely friend who owns the painting and decorating shop and the ones who leave soup on the doorstep. Someone somewhere must have a pretty damn strong grudge against me, because since moving in, I’ve discovered the whole house NEEDS REDECORATION AND REWIRING. Despite viewing the property 6 times to make sure my mustard coloured lockers would fit in the lounge-come bedroom, I was blindsided due to bad mentals and therefore did not notice the state of disrepair the precious forever home tit heap was in.
As I paid cash on a sold as seen contract, I have found myself with no recourse to complain. Do they want me to LITERALLY STOP BREATHING? How on earth am I supposed to find the money for this?
The trolls have lost me my livelihood, I now will have to go back to sofa surfing and poor SB’s marbles I’d bought him for Christmas will have to be pawned.
the tip jar is here if you want to recognise the work I do, but otherwise happy to hear from any lawyers amongst you lovely lot.
send doggos cash *

 

[AnnRKey]

We already know what the post is going to be.

*Mirror selfie of Jack dressed like a teenage boy but with tits or midriff or fanny on display*

We made it. 56,000 boxes, 27,000 cups of tea, six freight lorries and many hours and myself and SB reach our new home. This will be the one that I paint and love and everything will be the best but also I am very poor so don’t stop the cashos rolling in. Not slept for a week and my neck, shoulder, brain and crumbly teeth are sending sharp pains through my sternum. But I bravely face this cacophony of challenges, despite the onomatopoeic nature of my defenestration… (continues for 50,000 words).

You forgot the ubiquitous broken hearts, engagement rings that she had to pawn and all the bad boohoos.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Looking at Jacks's website, in the weeks after HH2 she posted no less than 6 recipes, and then 4 weeks ago about Dead people can't riot and donations to the foodbank. Was the 6 recipes trying to send HH2 down the bottom of the page, the same tactic as Twitter in burying all her crap with What's your favourite, do you remember?

I think they were primarily intended to compete with THAT MAN's recent TV show. Delusional.

 

[kachoochoo]

I once posted on the strictly thread. Never again.
They practically foxtrotted on my head.

absolutely, never anger the strictly tattlers, it only ever ends in carnage

 

[Jelly Bean]

I think they were primarily intended to compete with THAT MAN's recent TV show. Delusional.

Yes you're right. The seven years in the developing fish pie was a direct response to Jamie's one pan programme

 

[Notmycat]

I think they were primarily intended to compete with THAT MAN's recent TV show. Delusional.

Ah I hadn't clicked that. .

 

[Lazarus]

I think they were primarily intended to compete with THAT MAN's recent TV show. Delusional.

Your profile kills me every time.

 

[Notmycat]

Hotes, dear, is "fogging" something unpleasant that I should not google? These threads have already taught me not to look up "pegging" .

I already knew about "teabagging", as I believe it's a way of making a brew in a slow cooker

@DinosaurSenior I often fog my partner (never knew there was a name for it) is he is lying behind me as the big spoon, with me as the smaller spoon. It means farting on his bits, I also often stink the place out so much I have to get out of bed to open the window.

Im not fancy, I fart a lot but its better than the other option of trapped wind. The pain

 

[Lazarus]

@DinosaurSenior I often fog my partner (never knew there was a name for it) is he is lying behind me as the big spoon, with me as the smaller spoon. It means farting on his bits, I also often stink the place out so much I have to get out of bed to open the window.

8+ years and I have never once in front of Mr Lazarus 🫣

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

@DinosaurSenior I often fog my partner (never knew there was a name for it) is he is lying behind me as the big spoon, with me as the smaller spoon. It means farting on his bits, I also often stink the place out so much I have to get out of bed to open the window.

Have we just found Jack? Are you the imposter? Are these room clearing farts slop induced?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Hotes, dear, is "fogging" something unpleasant that I should not google? These threads have already taught me not to look up "pegging" .

I already knew about "teabagging", as I believe it's a way of making a brew in a slow cooker

Oh no I’ve done a chaos! I meant dogging. has gone all prim.

 

[AnnRKey]

The dogging/fogging chaos is just what I needed today, actual cannot stop laughing, thank you!

 

[Dire Tates]

Bad teeth more associated with speed than

Indeed, ask me how I know...

 

[jenny2603]

duck YOU JACK, YOU WITHHOLDING TORTURER.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Ah I hadn't clicked that. .

To be fair she is trapped in a never-ending sisyphan task of trying to squash every previous tweet down, but the tweets she writes to do the squashing are also embarrassing and so it goes on

 

[Foxvint]

@DinosaurSenior I often fog my partner (never knew there was a name for it) is he is lying behind me as the big spoon, with me as the smaller spoon. It means farting on his bits, I also often stink the place out so much I have to get out of bed to open the window.

Im not fancy, I fart a lot but its better than the other option of trapped wind. The pain

Can I just inform you dear heart that if you as the smaller spoon were to lie behind your larger spoon it is called jet packing. Now dont tell me this thread isn't filling the niche emptied by OU programming no longer shown.

 

[HotesTilaire]

The dogging/fogging chaos is just what I needed today, actual cannot stop laughing, thank you!

don’t forget the bollock sausages