Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[Emmapism]

Well, she's still on the CHC programme for tomorrow morning but will she make it?...

This Frau says no. Part hope, part belief.

 

[That Forensic Man]

I think this is crediting her too much. Like, she is literally some kind of evil genius if she raises money for charity in 2013 then thinks "oooh, time to play the long game" and just...bides her time before setting up a Patreon four years later? If she had that much foresight, she would probably have been far smarter about it.

Honestly, I just think she's thick and shit with money, and her shitness with money is what has led to this mess. She clearly lives from payday to payday, and has never been able to save. She's an impulsive spender, and nothing stays in her bank account more than a couple of days. She's not a brilliant conwoman, she's just someone who can't control her outgoings and whenever she gets a big bill she hops online to rattle the tip jar.

Thanks for the reality check CL, there are definitely brilliant conpeople and evil geniuses out there but yeah Jack is more narcissistic thicko. Probably more of an opportunist than strategist but still think a publicist was involved beyond agent/publisher etc. maybe the guardian funded.
I suppose at a certain point with enough £££££ rolling in even someone that shit with money should be able to make do but apparently not Jack!

See I just don’t understand why telling people to use veggie oil on salads rather than olive oil is being held up as a maverick bit of brain blowing innovation. We always had veg oil (& lemon juice) on salads and veg when I was growing up as olive oil is expensive. Loads of people make these substitutions naturally. It’s not new. It’s only for Jacks middle class audience that it’s astounding.

The current trip down Jack Memory Lane as prompted a Jack Memory which made me LOL - do you Frauen remember when she claimed to have chopped down a for sale sign outside her house with an AXE, Jack Nicholson style? And tried to prove it by posting a pic of her holding a saw?

I have that pic 'to hand', see you in ten

 

[ElbiePickle]

Pick any month of any year that she's been in the public eye and you'll find her talking about daily harassment, abuse and trolls. It's always been the same, her fragile ego can't deal with anyone not agreeing with her or thinking she's wonderful, so these people get labelled as hateful bullies, for merely saying a recipe doesn’t work. Trouble is, people have believed for years that she actually does get all this abuse; she's managed to concrete this myth that she is a targeted figure.

Apologies for my previous post, obviously plenty of ninnies got there before me with the origin of the trolls thoughts. Serves me right for not grunking properly. She makes me so angry I sometimes get a bit carried away and have to just get it out.

Also Jack is a lying TWAT!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Yes but don’t be misled by “betting” in the description “matched betting”. If done correctly then it’s not a gamble as you’re placing bets that cover all possible outcomes - you’re structuring a return of the “free bet” amount which is guaranteed by mathematical logic regardless of the result of the fixture or race that you’re betting on. So it’s not “beating the bookies” in the sense of an Arthur Daley character giving you a nudge-nudge wink wink tip of the winner of the 2:30 at Ascot.

IIRC It was as you’d expect prefaced with a number of warnings not to get sidetracked into normal gambling etc. Discussing it on the MSE forums was forbidden outside one specific well-moderated forum. It does work if undertaken with due skill and discipline.

Stop tempting me! I'm the kind of idiot who would make that stupid miscalculation and lose everything

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

100% certain she isn't moving to a one bedroom flat. What I'm sure she'll do is limit any photos to give the impression of it being a small and oh so cosy little place (with freshly painted walls, naturally). But she'll slip up. She won't be able to resist a humblebrag about something or other that will clearly show she's got plenty of rooms.

Can someone explain tax free matched betting to me? It sounds a little shady. Apologies if it's all above board.

Afaik it’s not shady as in illegal but it gives me the heeby jeebies from my readings on Reddit it’s synonymous w that spiteful frugal net wealth calculating in ur early 20s / FIRE / weird online community of men that draw up financial agreements with girlfriends who stay twice a week and act like you’re a dumb dumb for not wanting an engagement ring made out of can pulls and cat litter. Hence getting bad vibes from it? But big ups any individual who isn’t like that who makes money from it, more power to u

 

[Hollaaa]

Which is worse:
Mariah Carey Jack
Downstairs neighbour Jack
or
Direct report Jack?

 

[noweverythingsucks]

And if it's such terrible pay for basically an 80% chance of death, why be fool enough to do it? Same with the claim that fostering cost him £100,000 out of pocket- why do it? Can you imagine being a foster child seeing all this pony and thinking "poor old Dave has only got a 1 in 5 chance of living long enough to retire, and here am I costing him tens of thousands of pounds and doubling his Council tax when he barely earns enough to survive on and selflessly dedicates his life to me and the other feral children he cares for"?

I can see where the nonsense of 120 hours working weeks for so little remuneration that shower gel, hot water and butter are unaffordable luxuries comes from. Its genetic. If you enjoy feeling like a noble martyr because you altruistically work yourself to death for sixpence , stop whining - or alternatively get a different occupation.

And then you have her Grandpa's 'peppercorn social housing', which appears to have been in a state of significant disrepair when it was sold on https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11477199.check-it-out-the-hotel-with-no-staff/

 

[Smol Pixel]

To be fair, I don't think I paid for a single song I had on my iPod at that time - all either taken from CDs I owned or, ahem, other means.

Plus she may well have been exaggerating the number of songs she had? 20k songs is absurd. Surely Counting Crows didn't release that much music...

But also, back in the day iPods didn’t have wifi and you had to connect to iTunes to upload the songs. And even if you delete the songs off iTunes, it remembers what you have already bought and you can just download it again.

 

[Ablemabel]

She did.
View attachment 1750316And also

Spoiler: 🤢🤮🤢 WARNED

View attachment 1750311View attachment 1750322

So much wrong with all of that. Line of tape on the floor?! Just, no.

 

[hoopdedoo]

You only say this because you’ve never had a friend so close you described them as “chromatic”

Suddenly my life feels so empty

 

[Country Bumpkin]

1.30 on - "I tried to sing on stage...[mumble mumble faux embarrassment]....was invited to sing on stage with Billy Bragg at Glastonbury [humblebrag smirk]......I cocked up one of the biggest opportunities I have ever had in my life.....now I'm not expecting to ever do this for a living......Louis Walsh Pride of Britain humblebrag....grow as a human being cringiness"

How is singing with Billy Bragg your biggest opportunity when your "career" is as a poverty campaigner? She is so angling to be "discovered" in this vid.

Discovered??! That warbling was just so cringe. I plucked up the courage to watch this morning and my arsehole is still firmly planted in my esophagus after being sucked up from embarrassment. How she thinks that vid is amazing is beyond me. What the hell was she whispering at the end?? Jesus wept...

 

[Hollaaa]

View attachment 1750049

GRIFTER. CUNT.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Is that they died even though she calmly (gently, painstakingly) tried to guide them to safety? A lot of what she writes online is quite hard to follow, which is not ideal in someone who writes professaionally.

I expect so. It’s just so badly written that it boils my piss she got paid for it - particularly when she’s writing about something so sensitive

 

[Julia Edwards]

She wanted to be paid to stay home

Dreams really can come true.

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Military/Military round the edges is just another one of those things she’s desperate to be/be seen as and isn’t. See also butch. I will lay odds that neither “Lynn of the pins” or Leggy fucking said that COINCIDENTALLY EXACT SAME THING to her.

View attachment 1751767

Guardian interview, February 2014
View attachment 1751787
Guardian article in June 2019.
View attachment 1751769

Also, back on the subject of the fire service, here’s didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+1
View attachment 1751821And didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+2. Yeah, Of course they did.
View attachment 1751822
She’s SO full of utter fucking nonsense that it’s almost laughable.

Why would she have been the cook if this happened before she was forced to learn to cook by the pov?

Why would her partners all be so surprised and amused that she wore shirts and ties if she had been dressing like a boy and running around in binding with socks down her pants since she was a kid? And why does wearing a shirt and tie make someone butch? Surely you'd have to be going from stepford wife to that for someone to even bother commenting on it.

 

[That Forensic Man]

If we are having Jack Monroe Singing vids, this is my video version of @Marmalade Atkins fave Easter pic of tinyheaded Jack that’s just a gift that keeps on giving.

I’ve never even managed to listen properly all the way through. I just LOVE and cannot get enough of the trilled “Hiya!” followed by the big sniff, nose wipe and calling herself a COKE book author- all in the first eight seconds. I listen to that part multiple times then I just forward to the warbling.

Fuck sake this is the second singing video where I've had to scrub 8 times and over half way through to get to the actual fucking warbling
Jack you're utterly SHIT at making videos

 

[noweverythingsucks]

And mine, Nonkey1.

View attachment 1751342

The only way multiple people have thought to say that is if she is directly asking them 'do you think I'm military around the edges?'

Also, if all her ex employers are saying it maybe we have the reason for all her random dismissals, as being hard around the edges doesn't sound like a great trait for people who work in the customer-facing retail and hospitality industries.

THIS!!!! Even though we’ve read similar from her, the first couple of lines of her reply are ABSOLUTELY FUCKING STAGGERING
View attachment 1751351View attachment 1751352
Also quoted from her article “I don’t really talk about the Christmas Day”. Except you do, Jack. Incessantly. Mostly for paid articles monetizing your fake pov.

Is it possible to FOI request the fire service to ask for a list of the reasons employment was ended in that time?

 

[Hold my beans]

If we are having Jack Monroe Singing vids, this is my video version of @Marmalade Atkins fave Easter pic of tinyheaded Jack that’s just a gift that keeps on giving.

I’ve never even managed to listen properly all the way through. I just LOVE and cannot get enough of the trilled “Hiya!” followed by the big sniff, nose wipe and calling herself a COKE book author- all in the first eight seconds. I listen to that part multiple times then I just forward to the warbling.

Bless her, so brave

Idiot.

 

[Foxvint]

As we’ve been denied a live Jack today and as we’ve had Singing Jack and Piano Jack on the thread. I feel it only right that we have Poetry Jack to complete the trifecta (and as we’ve traumatized the Music Teachers, it seems cruel to leave out the English Teachers)

I feel like she's trying for an Amy Winehouse persona here. Except without the talent or authenticity.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Nice white walled kitchen there.

On top of everything else I've now got covid. Feel dreadful. That's why I've not written up my Peach Drizzle Brick effort.

Sorry to hear that, tender one... Are we sure the Peach Brick hasn't made things worse? Sending healing-os.