Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Order Thread by Most Liked Posts

Grizzlybear

traumatised sideboard said:
A train chaos is my favourite genre of chaos. You've got Mediterranean arses, you've got being trapped, you've got shin-kicking, you've got Opal Fruits. There's truly something for everyone.
Click to expand...
Let us not forget the quest of the Lost Tile, where our preternaturally strong pixie extracted her forgotten bounty from the floor, or the swearing at support staff over made up incidents via Twitter and getting scolded.
 
Reactions: 38
R

Readingismyhobby

She certainly has a high opinion of herself
 
Reactions: 24

Smol Pixel

And god forbid he be cared for by anyone other than the woman who, by her own admission, isn’t maternal, never wanted kids, sold his toy dinosaur, kept him in a cold house with not enough food because she was too proud to ask for help… I could go on but I may have an actual aneurysm.
 
Reactions: 67

Snotbuster

Also, who can't think of a non-pie pumpkin use in this day and age? Pumpkin scones, as a concept, are quite un-new. But chunks of squash in a scone sounds yerg and who has diceable pumpkin lying around--canned is fab, shelf-stable, cheaper, always in season, and finally, not disgusting in baked goods. I'd hate to see her carrot cake.

If you want to use up a Jack-o-lantern (the point of Jack's article?) don't bother because aside from the seeds (toasted and salted) the rest is bred for the making of Jack-o-lanterns, not eating. So just compost the damn thing. Or smash it in the street. Either works. Food pumpkins are generally not good for carving. But they are good for stuffing, baking, mashing, etc. But back to the canned pumpkin rant--since food pumpkins are between 5-10 lbs. (average) most people don't just have a bunch of pumpkins lying around without specific plans for them.

Lastly, TIL that English Baptists have liquor cabinets but don't allow Halloween.
 
Reactions: 33

Shimmering

I hate the story about her punching her brother. It's incredibly fucking cringe and also incredibly horrible that she can boast of physically attacking someone and wear it as a badge of honour. Somehow she's allowed to get away with this. If it was the other way around, the Essex celeb squad would have her brother banged up before you could blink.

"Where I come from" is just so embarrassing. She definitely thinks all working class / poor people behave as if they're in Eastenders, and deck each other all the time whenever they have a disagreement (whenever they can tear themselves away from watching Jeremy Kyle and scoffing burgers).

Her poor family.
 
Reactions: 71

Mr Krabs

Perhaps Jack is living a life beyond her wildest dreams at the nearest Travel Tavern, courtesy of her corporate overlords.

I don’t think she’d be able to resist a selfie though. We got a fanny and feet pic last time, so I guess she’s got to get her Mediterranean arse out this time. Going to be difficult to stage an accidental belfie.
 
Reactions: 42

jenny2603

A different squig from the original food killer squig. The Guardian thing is going to be an absolute shitshow.

 
Reactions: 60

HotesTilaire

NellieBoo said:
I just know that Jack is the one of those people that when you meet or speak to them you repeat over and over in your head 'Don't ask how they are. Don't ask how they are. Do NOT ask how they are'.
Click to expand...
100% mithering I bet she’d pinch you under the table at tea time
 
Reactions: 35

CarmenGhia

It's completely true that she would have had very little to do with the art director for her books. She might not have even met him; the pictures of her will have been done by a photographer working for/with him.

Something else bothering me about her back story: she supposedly doesn't drive, yet she had a job working for a local paper, where being mobile at short notice is necessary. We know that she did work for the paper, yet if the non-driver thing is true, she would have been really unreliable and limited in what she could cover. Even local press junior reporting jobs are really competitive and there must have been some sort of nepotism involved. You normally need a degree and the key requirement of the job is being able to read and write accurately, stupidly quickly, which she supposedly can't do.

Is Big D a mason?
 
Reactions: 51

Bugger13

Interesting. So Jack’s benefits were delayed because ‘they said I’d made myself unemployed’. Seems that the brat demands & flounce at the fire station actually happened then.
And also, moaning about people not knocking at her door during the poverty. Thought you cowered at the sound of a doorbell Jack? And also, anyone asking ‘how are you’ would soon learn their lesson eg? Uncle Albert ‘during the poverty…’ over and over-imagine how bad she’d have been whilst imagining she was in the middle of it?
 
Reactions: 44

Lumpyspaceprincess

she sounds less nasal in that James O’brien interview.

someone has put a picture of the house plan of the shitty bungalow on haunted bird. Wow it’s big isn’t it. The storage in the bathroom alone!
 
Last edited:
Reactions: 35
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
Menu
Log in
Register