Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Lazarus]

I was going to try my hand at profound Jack poetry, but my mind keeps leading me to this, the most cringe song ever written. Worse still when you consider the man who wrote it was raised by a wealthy aunt in a middle class suburb, and later lived in a sprawling mansion in Royal Ascot before moving to the Dakota building in New York.

(I should caveat this by saying the Beatles are one of my favourite bands, but this makes me ill and I think it’s perfectly fitting for Jack).

Working Class Hero

As soon as you're born, they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
'Til the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
'Til you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for 20 odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function, you're so full of fear

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they are telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill

A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

If you want to be a hero, well, just follow me
If you want to be a hero, well, just follow me

 

[WhyYouCry?]

Well spotted htria
You're completely right about amazon, I checked the price but missed it was also amazon

View attachment 1705033

Got them at £120 on Joules or the exact ones for £150 on another website, so I'll call it £120

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I’ve actually seen those leopard boots on the Joules website before and I’m fairly sure they were £120.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I ordered one of those and was reluctantly forced to send it back because we have no space for it they're huuuge!!

Spoiler: Cooker chat

Thats one of the things I noticed with some of them, they can have a large footprint, and we have a smallish kitchen. I'm currently on the hunt for a pressure cooker/multi cooker, so if anyone has any specific brand recs I'd be most grateful

 

[FitiverMin]

I thought the SB checking her breathing scenario was after the shimmery black eye, where she tripped over her foot/dumbbell on floor and hit her eye on the tap/sink (depends which story you follow)? So she didn't say it was due to alcohol, but was implying concussion? Mithering ninnies may draw their own conclusions, but she was claiming to be sober.

Sorry, I was sure that she was writing about being blackout drunk but I'm not a forensic frau.

 

[overdueanadventure]

Creative Interlude

Spoiler: More Jack Poetry

(technically it’s allegedly a song but as she hasn’t provided the Music, we’ll be treating the Lyrics as a poem. About a girl with a “middle class voice” who bought and owned a lot of shit.

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She's obsessed with stuff.

 

[Lauradianalou]

I’m guessing the double handed shot of that grey bilge means it’s from the Louisa smoothie bowl period? Or is it soup?

The colour matches no known foodstuff so I really can’t tell whether it’s sweet or savoury.

So it is an actual picture of something she has cooked/ made???

 

[TheCat'sMother]

It must be killing her to not snark tweet about it all

Just imagine the howling & clawing & lobbing of horrible cutlery at the not bungalow!!

 

[JuliaGulia]

Argh I can’t find nightmare pud!!! It’s in about Dec 2020

edit - credit Sideboob Bob
sound ON

Jack Monroe #203 Found a packet of pork mince

Remember when she said she's spent the last 10 years mining her trauma "for other peoples' ad revenue" and would talk about her *health issues* on her own terms now. She must've been just WAITING for Twitter to add that monetisation feature. Feels like we're definitely gearing up for...

tattle.life

Thank god, I've used every combination of search term I could think of and couldn't find it

 

[Lauradianalou]

Still no refund for Patreon squig. Jack must be really BUSY. God, do they want her to LITERALLY STOP BREATHING.

View attachment 1708521

Is this person asking for a months donation or for the whole 2 years she hasn't done anything on Patreon?

 

[Hollaaa]

Has this been seen before?

Diary Blog, 30 September 2022, including an assessment of “Jack Monroe”, aka the “Bootstrap Cook”

Morning music [Volegov, Morning at St. Remy de Provence] On this day a year ago “Jack Monroe”, the “Bootstrap Cook”: an assessment I have blogged (briefly) previously a few …

ianrobertmillard.org

This is a new find to me, and while I'm not hugely keen on the way it's written [understatement], I think it goes to show more people are picking up on the grift 'story'.

 

[binkbonk]

That only works if she shows that there were zero sales from when the donation was made until the shop closed

For us and anyone with a brain yes, but I think a lot of squigs/blue tick friends would fall for it

 

[SusieTCones]

Also Jack has such Brita 'raging against the machine' middle class white girl parallels

She’s a no good B

 

[Beggy Slopgibbon]

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Yes, absolutely.

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Horse spunk hoops

 

[Silver Linings]

If none of you have seen Community, I wholeheartedly recommend the first few seasons. Episode 2 of season 3 is full of spooky Jack adjacent stuff!

Including Donald Glover doing a southern accent when representing the country of Georgia in a model UN

Also Jack has such Brita 'raging against the machine' middle class white girl parallels

She lived in New York!

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

@Mendacious Trumpet you found the Christmas whichetty grub .

You're not wrong - really does look like them.

Spoiler: Grubby content - WARNED

These Australian Grubs Taste Like Scrambled Eggs

Barbecued or raw, the outback's witchetty grub is a foraged treat.

www.atlasobscura.com

I'd find it hard to choose between the grubs and that thing. It looks completely revolting.

I don't know that I'd actually be brave enough to eat the grubs. I'd probably faint / claim a religious exemption faced with either dish.
Unless we somehow manage to drag this guy through a time portal.

I'd eat a lot of things for him.

 

[NeoCortex]

Horse spunk hoops

Get the Ivermectin out lads. Yum.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Another 12 hours and it's down to 570.3k

Results from my very non-forensic follower mitherings, count vs split time:

571.1k start
570.8k 24h
570.6k 6h
570.3k 12h
570.0k 24h

Has anyone following the slopalong taken the four day beans that serve zero? I have no desire to make them, I just still find it absolutely hilarious.

Not yet tender one x

Jack Monroe's Del Monte mandarin, pickled bean, feta & herb salad

www.delmonteeurope.uk

 

[Captainmouse]

I just looked at Veganish on Amazon and it turns out there's a photo of her looking gormless in an egg chair. Veganish indeed. A tofu chair if you please.

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What is she wearing on her trotters?
edited to add too slow

 

[maytoseptember]

Weren't they for SBs 10th birthday? She wrote a whole big post about herself and how amazing she was, not just "Happy Birthday SB" Or "Double digits!" Like a normie would

Something like that, yeah. Imagine being presented with that and having to be grateful. And the narc rage if they turned out to be inedible.

 

[Nonah]

I really don't want to victim blame in any way, but would a victim of stalking be happy receiving and showing off a bunch of flowers from an anonymous sender? The choice of flower is also unusual. That's a very symbolic flower in NI and I found this when googling

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As for that blog post, who in their right mind posts all that triggering stuff followed by a photo of their child? That's just messed up.

BIB. Well, quite.