Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[definitelynotvlad]

I thought she was a single parent who couldn’t even go for a run..

I heard she’s a gym rat with shared custody?

 

[Smol Pixel]

She's more like Jack than I thought ...
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Maybe she is Jack!!! #conspiracytheory

 

[House of Carbonara]

Hmmm you may be onto something there

Spoiler

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Dear Lord... Makes for grim reading, doesn't it.

 

[Lucky Escape]

I ordered one of those and was reluctantly forced to send it back because we have no space for it they're huuuge!!

Yeah, my kitchen is huge by studio flat standards, but the only appliances I have room for are toaster, coffee machine, and (tiny) food processor. One day I'll have my dream kitchen!

(Maybe it's just a London thing, but it seems that the fancier a rented flat, the smaller the kitchen. I've seen places that have a built-in wine fridge but only a single storage cupboard!)

 

[Hollaaa]

À boutstrap de souffle

Chapeau!

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

My search skills are useless but my memory is not too bad. I think this is the pie she tried to pass off as her own.

Fuck me that’s taken me back to my pre-child skint days, when I lived off these. I’d eat them with

Spoiler: Warning

Gravy

Am I Jack?!

I’ve mentioned before that my middle child is getting to be rather decent in the kitchen, and how confused she was by Conroe’s recipes, so she won’t do the Slopalong, however, my eldest teen states she is too scared of making horrible looking, horrible tasting food to even try, so I figure if I tell her it’s meant to be both, then maybe she’d have a crack at it with me?!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Ps I am also tribute number 69 *snigger

“Top and Tailing it Cheesy Pepper Sauce” is a delightful stablemate for her fuck me pasta and knock one out stew so you’re fitting right in there, Chicken. Probably best not to have the shit oneself smoothie ahead of time tho. Who knows where that recipe will take you…

 

[Lazarus]

I’m feeling very ‘seen’ with the shoe chat here, I must say!

 

[MancBee]

I feel a photoshop coming on

Honkin Spice
Interchangeable Spice
Haughty Spice
Old Spice

ETA I forgot there were 5 spice girls

Chinese 5 Spice? (cultural appropriation as in Blackface hair braid Jack)
Mixed Spice? (no one more mixed up than Jack)
Pickling Spice? (Jack loves a pickle)

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

Is she up to date with her Twitter bio? Don’t think it’s changed today. Dare I believe she’s stayed off Twitter for a whole day??

 

[hoopdedoo]

Has she even tried doing that, I wonder? Because in the States 'applesauce' is very much an individual pudding sized serving kind of product rather than a condiment, and it's basically pureed fruit. Nothing like the stuff you can buy in the supermarkets in the UK.

I was curious about this too, so I Googled it. It's recommended as an egg substitute in a fair number of vegan/vegetarian dishes, which is maybe why she uses it so much. However, that's no guarantee that she's actually tried it

 

[FlirtyThirty]

The definition of the plural of chaos is also a bit of a chaos itself I feel. View attachment 1705433

I think we agreed that as with Walri, it’s chaosi. Greek innit.

 

[jenny2603]

Just thinking back to the social enterprise/charity/cafe that Big Dave is associated with. Wondering if Jack will be involved with that or whether they will hope she steers well clear.

I'm sure she'll try and involve herself but if Big Dave has any sense at all, he'll keep her as far away as possible from it.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Hold up, what date did Nigella boost her patreon? She announced the £10k long before the money would have made it to her paypal so if she mistakenly believed patreon funds were Teemill ones, she must have:
1. Been paid by patreon before the 2nd Feb, but didn't we deduce that payout from patreon is a few days later?
2. Not have understood the rolling payout, although she stated a day before she announced the £10k she was aware of this.
3. Made £10k a month from patreon?

I think she got the £10k figure from the Teemill dashboard. I don't think the dates line up for a Patreon chaos.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Her latest sock, which I discovered less than 12 hours ago, is gone after about 45 tweets, a lot of them aimed at Molly. Called out by others who asked how an account that joined in November 22 and only followed some football players suddenly stumbled across Molly’s blog and decided to have a go at her.

It’s so blatant (and it has been with other socks too, like that one with the profile pic of the man in glasses that Fraus found on a reverse image search); I genuinely think some part of her is cracked mentally and she can’t keep herself from mithering on Twitter.

After reading upon the lastest saga of the musk twitter hurricane. I am surprised ( not really) she hasnt left. Hes getting rid of many of his staff, the staff that support and help minorities have access to the sitevto make way for the likes of Trump enthusiasts.


You would think with her being a campaigner she would have walked away not wanting to be seen supporting any of it.

Such a campaigner!

 

[RinsingHoops]

Sounds like a Fall song...

I drank a pot of slop
And then I took some plastic cheese
And I'm totally wired

 

[Lucky Escape]

She both far too much of a know it and a lazy bugger to get any qualifications. Can you imagine her in an educational setting being taught something like knife skills? First off she’d be all “I’m a professional, I’ve cooked for Mary Portas, this is beneath me!” Then when she bolloxed up filleting a fish or whatever it’d be “I can’t be expected to do this, I’m DISABLED! My hands are ouchy and crumbling to dust!”. She’d be an absolute bloody nightmare to teach.

Of course, if Jack were ever to deign to go anywhere near a cookery school, it would only be to give an extra-special guest lecture: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...y-the-same-author.30871/page-42#post-10298000

 

[Hollaaa]

Thought this might amuse the canal… a friend sent me one of these lists of people humble bragging and being general twats. And look who turns up!

27 Humblebrags So Cringeworthy We Almost Couldn't Look

Humility is important. Who wants to hang out with someone constantly bragging about their cool stuff or their awesome accomplishments? The folks below might have got the memo but they didn't quite understand it. With a hat tip to the Reddit forum r/humblebrag, check out these showboaters who just...

www.ranker.com

All the scooping up puts my teeth on edge. I get visions of poo-studded cat litter in human form.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

It was a busy day for Jack.

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Also, we ever find out what this was? (7th Mar)

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ah the origin of the TOOT TOOT muthafuckaaas never fails to make . Similarly Kumbiyah m*****etc . Having a go at putting up a picture thingy for the first time ever, don't all point at me and laugh when it doesnt work, you nefarious mithering ninnies. Now fuck off, my tender ones x
And thank you for the small flurry of Capt James T Kirk, keep up the good work lads x

 

[quiet side of midnight]

I feel for that Patreon squig. As is always the case with Jack......sound and fury signifying nothing.

These aren't the actions of a woman feeling incredibly guilty about what she's doing.

Deeds, not words. Still taking money, still providing nothing.

I think the only way Patreon Squig is getting a refund is if Jack manages to actually send out some of her Patreon backlog, otherwise she's setting herself up for more refund requests, even then I'd not hold my breath waiting! If she does it at all it won't be until she's got some postcards and crap in the post, and I wouldn't hold my breath for that either