Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Lucky Escape]

I bet she can't even manage that. She'll lose a leg to SEVERE gangrene in chapter two only to have two legs by chapter five. The flying monkeys still
won't sense anything is off.

You never know, it may end up being a rare feat of cubist literature. All viewpoints are interchangeable, after all.

 

[BurgerLaBill]

I really hope Jack never makes a candle that smells like her fanny.

That would empty Southend.

 

[Notmycat]

I had a look at the photos in Jack's books.

AgcJ had quite a few photos of Jack and a few of SB

Not as many in the other books, veganish and good food for bad days have no pictures at all bar the front covers, just drawings to illustrate the food (is that because it's so crap it would put people off)

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

I wonder how long after Jack moved in with Allegra she realised she couldn’t cook.

Did she really go to rehab when she split with her? I feel like I’ve missed this. This must be when SB really moves in with dad then.

 

[Phillipa78]

Please can we spoiler the fisting chat?

I can cope with the slop, but I make no apologies for not wanting to consider why someone would force an entire fist into another person. 🫣

Oh god….the image is repeating on me now like a cheap curry. Make it stop. Preserve my sensitive brain

I've been away for a week and this is the first (fist) post I walk into?! Same babes, except *insert birth story here* midwives eh?!

Howdy Canal! While I've been on an accidental digital detox in the mountains, I can see Jack has been on her own clean-up quest. Maybe this is what a high-falutin publisher buys you? I feel like I've missed some seismic events, I hope everyone's been enjoying themselves. I imagine there has been much grinding and gnashing of crumbly teeth in the shitty bungalow.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

The other obvious problem with Jack writing her memoirs is SHE’S ALREADY TOLD US EVERYTHING.

There is nothing new. She’s livetweeted her life. Everybody knows her story. Why would anyone pay for it again?

Everyone has heard it, all of it. Doesn't put her off telling it all again though

 

[That Forensic Man]

I think so too. It would get old as fuck very quickly your adult partner expecting you to indulge them like Spoiled Bastard from Viz.

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and
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I would LOVE to have a good old chat with Rosamund Urwin (she’s the one who also wrote the great “not my circus not my monkeys” article too). Pretty sure she has plenty of “thoughts” on Ol Bullshitter

I once touched Michael Fassbender’s chest — and I’m still a

Austerity blogger Jack Monroe and chef Allegra McEvedy tell Rosamund Urwin about falling in love, their political ambitions and raising a family

www.standard.co.uk

Her later article for anyone who missed it. SHADE!!!

Jack Monroe on why she's adding 'politician' to her CV

Writer and cook Jack Monroe has turned politician, standing as an independent. She talks Labour’s future, the PM’s punk wardrobe and dating with Rosamund Urwin

www.standard.co.uk

Monroe isn’t your PPE-ist ex-SPAD

Can someone throw me a bone?
All this talk of Dr Martens, greets the reporter in her willow patterns but photographed for said article in her red ones

I notice she claimed to get some leapord print shoes from Oxfam but we've only seen leopard print Joules, Nike Air Max and the Downing Street jobbies so far

 

[Bugger13]

Haughty Spice, perhaps?

Interchangeable spice

 

[Sketchy]

I just looked at Veganish on Amazon and it turns out there's a photo of her looking gormless in an egg chair. Veganish indeed. A tofu chair if you please.

View attachment 1701626

How pathetic. Is she pretending someone else took this photo? Gawd she really fancies herself something rotten that one. Shy? I think not. I'm embarrassed for her.

 

[Jelly Bean]

That kitchen gives me the heebie jeebies. I’m pretty minimalist (mainly because I’m lazy and hate cleaning). I had a day off on Tuesday and decided the kitchen was overdue a proper deep clean. Took me 6 hours, and that’s with barely anything in it. Imagine how long it would take to clean that monstrosity?!

Quite. No wonder SB rebelled against the cutlery. Probably all looked and tasted grubby.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Creative Interlude

Spoiler: More Jack Poetry

(technically it’s allegedly a song but as she hasn’t provided the Music, we’ll be treating the Lyrics as a poem. About a girl with a “middle class voice” who bought and owned a lot of shit.

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So so self obsessed. I too have sold stuff when times where tough but I don't feel the need to talk about it, let alone write a bloody fucking song ffs.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Erm what!! What a terrible little fraud she is! Her actual cookies are DIRE. Why oh why always orange peel sugar or something really specialist when she doesn’t even heat a pan. She’s so pretentious. Just zest a bit of orange into the cookie mix ffs.
Weird double post
I wonder with Leggy how much Jack’s finances had to do with the imbalance. A friend of mine met a guy and they started dating and it was a good while -maybe 8 months-before she found out he was a millionaire property developer. He then found out she was a financial nightmare who owned her own house but very little else. They were together a few years before he started trying to make her do investments and think about pensions etc because he was ‘worried about her finances.’ My friend was really shocked because I think she thought if he was thinking long term then she’d be ‘well I married a millionaire so I’m rich too now’ and his point of view was more like ‘I need you to be financially stable yourself because that’s important to me.’
She wanted looking after and I think Jack is the same. I don’t like Leggy but I bet she’s got her shit together and is a doer. The opposite of Jack in so many ways.

Yes, funny that - perfect and even in the first pic, looking terrible in the second...
Not saying that she lied, obvs. Hold on, no, I do.

Agree with you, tender one. She probably thinks she's so unique and fabulous people should fall over themselves for the opportunity to look after her. Dream on, mate.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Yeah, that Ian Millard guy's a racist nutbag, See (I mean, it's fine if you don't click on this) here, where his disbarment is definitely NOT that he's a psychopath, but it was all down to Da Jooz.

The Slide of the English Bar and UK Society Continues and Accelerates

[Addendum and Update, 5 September 2021: since I blogged in relation to my disbarment etc, there have been developments, some of which are covered in the updates at the foot of the original blog. Ho…

ianrobertmillard.org

<looks further>

Ah, he's a Nazi.

<stops looking>

Isn't he behind one of the anti-Jack accounts on twitter, that got banned for a while (not necessarily due to tweets related to Jack). Sure it was him.

 

[Mme Coco]

Did someone say humble bragging/something about being a general twat? From early 2021

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What. A. Tool.

PS wonder if she made it into Pandora’s article?!

Paging Mods: loved the hats! Please may we have a cringe button?

 

[Funsizes]

Really struggling to keep up lately but is the slopathon this weekend, id like* to join...

*feel a peverse urge

 

[hoopdedoo]

What are those things on her feet made of? With my poor eyesight I would say slugs.

I was going to say they looked like leopard print. Which is an odd choice for a vegan, even a vegan(ish).

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

View attachment 1702153Was someone here chatting about an empty Greggs?

Can Anyone else see a small animal in there?!

It's haunted!

(Serves them right for not buying from Oggy Oggy Oggy, though)

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I have to say I am considering getting a chest freezer as mine is quite small so I struggle to batch cook. I wonder if this is how the descent into being a slop cooking grifter begins.

If you have the space and can afford it, it's worth getting one. Not just for batch cooking but also for taking advantage of good deals on items or yellow stickers that you wouldn't otherwise have the space to store.

 

[Julia Edwards]

I hear it as a Billy Bragg song, and can imagine Jack wrote it as such

You're right, this is probably exactly what she was thinking. Like her own little rewrite of 'Levi Stubbs' Tears'.

Yes, it’s hard to choose when you ponder who was the fister & who was the fistee. Both she and Jack deserve it.

Fistee Kitchen

 

[Soup or Noodle]

That's astonishing. It's been, what, 4 days now? Is she going out of her way to make herself look dreadful?

When's her patreon pay day? She's maybe intending on robbing patreon squigs to pay a patreon squig