Jack Monroe #423 The only TV show Jack Monroe needs to be on is Crimewatch

[FitiverMin]

Whilst looking for a slop to cook I found this…. Why has she pissed in a bowl??

You're not Nigella, you just show yourself off as a total fraud. Does anyone else itch when she describes food? Her prose is so ugly.

 

[Julia Edwards]

Anyway, there will be photos, carefully and lovingly presented as accurately to Jack's as possible.

Don’t forget to not wash your hands!

 

[mchops]

I'm not taking part because I already have an impending sense of doom that people cooking slop is like pouring water on a gremlin. Stay safe, beware the pumble!

 

[kachoochoo]

still in the past, but wasn't it nice of keir to be wearing one of her painful looking h+m spoons at pmqs today?

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Course not. Can anyone honestly say they’d even know what a governor was when they were at school least of all talk to one.? Utter Jack drivel as per norms. bollocks bollocks bollocks

I knew my mum was one at my primary, still have no idea what they actually do

 

[hoopdedoo]

Please could some nice Frau (@That Forensic Man? ) add me to the slopalong. I am going to attempt this crime against cuisine

Ultimate Moussaka, 31p [VG/V/DF/GF*]

As the granddaughter of a Cypriot immigrant, I know my claim to have made the ‘ultimate’ moussaka is indeed a bold one. My grandfather would laugh in my face at the very notion of this vegan …

cookingonabootstrap.com

"My grandfather would laugh in my face at the very notion" Yes, he would, Jack. Yes he would....

 

[House of Carbonara]

Claps hands in excitement. Thank you!
also - cashew nuts, luxury!

Bolied onions? BOILED ONIONS??

 

[hoopdedoo]

Vlad is suggesting an antidote to cooking and eating Jackslop.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

Next time she comes over, serve her a meal of Jack slop. See if that'll do it!

Make her the sausagne.

 

[That Forensic Man]

I’m stupid, please can someone add me to the wiki spreadsheet thing- I’m going to make what I commented on earlier- Berry Bread Pudding. It even has the word slop in the method.

Berry Bread Pudding, 11p [VG/V/DF]

This luscious, dense, simple little number was thrown together this afternoon in the midst of a craving for something hot, stodgy and comforting while I worked from home in the bitter cold. I love …

cookingonabootstrap.com

I'll subscribe to the Patreon of anyone who can add me to the Slopathon spreadsheet (can't seem to figure out how to add new rows on mobile).

My dietary requirements are that I'm vegetarian and SHAN'T eat snotty eggs.

I'm going to do the pineapple chicken. Is it still authentic if I use a clean baking tray?

Also, can fraus please do the necessary financial analysis as they go? Even if you say 'found at back of fridge, 0p' for some ingredients.

As well as wanting this for purely nosy reasons, I have decided to donate an equal amount to what I chuck away on this endeavour to a local non-dodgy charity so some good might come of this nonsense. Obvs no pressure for anyone else to do this, but I thought it was a good way of realigning the universe once I've released slop out into it.

I only have her first book and it’s not with me currently (being on hols and all). So for the moment I volunteer to do “Banana, chickpea and tea curry (trust me on this one, it’s amazing.)” (Sure Jan!)

Private Site

But I’ll have a proper look through A Grifter Called Jack when I’m back and see if anything else looks ‘nicer’!

sorry I can’t edit the wiki - send IT skillos

I shall make this for the Slopalong, as I cannot resist a recipe with a reference to a u-bend in it. Yum!

Private Site

This is ace! I’ll do Bacon Black and Cheese.
I already have a dilemma, surely nobody on Earth cooks with UHT milk….

Please could some nice Frau (@That Forensic Man? ) add me to the slopalong. I am going to attempt this crime against cuisine

Ultimate Moussaka, 31p [VG/V/DF/GF*]

As the granddaughter of a Cypriot immigrant, I know my claim to have made the ‘ultimate’ moussaka is indeed a bold one. My grandfather would laugh in my face at the very notion of this vegan …

cookingonabootstrap.com

Félicitations!

Apparently breatharianism doesn’t allow for Jaffa cakes, so I’m back in to eating. Can someone add me to the slopalong as I can’t see an edit button (probs am blind, send eyeos).

All added

@That Forensic Man
I’m going to make this for my slop but can’t add to the wiki

Can I also suggest a scoring/rating system please?
E.g.
1 - awful, like Jack // 5 - she’s stole this recipe, can’t be hers, it’s too good.

Recipe easiness (easy to follow etc? 1-5
Taste. 1-5
Looks. 1-5
Etc etc I’m sure you very creative person could come up with some belters

What are you making dear heart?

 

[Bugger13]

This tweet's from an account with 28.5k followers. It's got 2 likes (one is Jack) and one quote tweet ("that looks dire"). If anyone's wondering how Jack's cancellation is going

View attachment 1698968

Why is there horse spunk on anaemic chilli? And that’s only my first question.

 

[Day3TShirt]

I shall make this for the Slopalong, as I cannot resist a recipe with a reference to a u-bend in it. Yum!

Private Site

I cannot stress this enough, duck THE duck OFF! who’s eating a slice of pie for their entire dinner? And how can 400g of mushrooms and 120g of lentils plus a minor cast of supporting ingredients make a pie big enough to feed 8? And who’s squealing in delight at a pie topping that looks like a nursery schooler made it? More likely squealing in horror. No wonder Phil ate half a pie in one sitting. It’s probably only 8 centimetres in diameter. And she’s not sharing the secret of her vegan glaze? Well, I for one am devastated. Does she ever make any of these diabolical recipes. Apologies @Vinbisha but this recipe could be my aneurysm. You have my deepest sympathies, pal x

 

[Emmapism]

I love the idea of ratings!

1 out of 5 has to be 'Terrible'. Each rating should have an associated Jack word for extra lols

 

[Cookiecookie]

Don’t forget the long, meandering cod-Nigella intros, which usually following the same formula:

I was inspired to make a pov version of X recipe, so here it is! I’ll be honest it’s a bit gross. I’m sorry. People with less discerning palates will probably love it

I - thankfully - have never owned one of Jack’s books but I’ve seen enough screenshots (I’m thinking the sweet and sour meatballs made with tinned chicken and pork, and some sort of atrocity inspired by a visit to the St John restaurant?) to know that’s how they usually go.

In case anyone is tempted for the slop-a-long!

 

[MistyWindows]

Long time lurker, this will possibly be the only post I make on this thread but I couldn’t live with the guilt if I didn’t speak up. DON’T DO IT!!! There is slop, then there is sausagne slop. I cooked this THREE TIMES , when I was a fan of JM and it was revolting, I should have learnt after the first but tried adapting the recipe twice thinking I was doing something wrong method wise but no. You may as well fill a dish with the runniest watery tin tomatos you can find, peel and chop your sausage before throwing in to float in the pool of red, layer with sheets that ironically won’t soften in all that liquid, add more milky cheesy liquid, give it hours in the oven to make hot tomato and sausage slop and serve it straight to the bin. Or the sink, would easy wash down and you can pick out the sausage lumps for use in another recipe from her collection probably.

I’m so sorry, but now I want to make it even more. It’s the thrill of

 

[That Forensic Man]

Don't forget Jack Monroe's exclusive Del Monte recipes!
Upside down pineapple chicken and peach drizzle cake are spoken for

https://www.delmonteeurope.com/Jack-Monroe.htm

 

[binkbonk]

Delete if not allowed but if anyone has misplaced their legally obtained copy of any of Jack's books you can download the ebooks here x

Spoiler: slop ahead. WARNED.

: free download. Ebooks library. Online books store on Z-Library

: free download. Ebooks library. Online books store on Z-Library | Z-Library. Download books for free. Find books

b-ok.xyz

The link looks so dodgy but I use the website all the time, saved me tons during college

 

[ClarenceBeakes]

So Caroline with the hands turned out very anodyne and appeared at a suspicious time.

Jack sock right?

She is bricking it.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

I'll slop plop for this. Am not using my best Mutti tomatoes though.

Sardinesca recipe

Like a puttanesca sauce, but with sardines in place of the anchovies. A handy and simple storecupboard pasta recipe.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Morning Mimosa]

Sweet and Sour Pickin' Balls? Is that a Georgian recipe?