Jack Monroe #42

[GrunkaLunka]

Dragging it back off topic again. This is number 3 of my future husbands but they don’t know it yet. He plays for Motherwell F.C. and Northern Ireland

He’s called Trevor Carson. The only man alive that makes the name Trevor sound sexy.

Edited for GrunkaLunka

I have a slight dilemma. His name is Trevor

I love that you have a collection of future husbands
Nothing wrong with the name Trevor.

 

[Breakdance Badass]

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When can we get that bloody eyeroll emoji????????????!!!!????

 

[MarmiteExtract]

 

[GrunkaLunka]

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OMG that isn't the slogan surely? They're messing with us. I need to hear Keir Starmer say that stat.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Damn I missed it - too busy Grunkaring to listen to radio.

What accent did she use? The posh girl one or Jackie from the (council) block?

 

[Silver Linings]

Cackling? I know a great coven you can’t join.

 

[BananaSmith]

The fragrance chat has me wondering what Ian Hislop smells like. Bet he’s lovely and crisp smelling, with just a hint of something mossy. Like a fresh autumn evening personified.

I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.

The fragrance chat has me wondering what Ian Hislop smells like. Bet he’s lovely and crisp smelling, with just a hint of something mossy. Like a fresh autumn evening personified.

I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.

The fragrance chat has me wondering what Ian Hislop smells like. Bet he’s lovely and crisp smelling, with just a hint of something mossy. Like a fresh autumn evening personified.

I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.

The fragrance chat has me wondering what Ian Hislop smells like. Bet he’s lovely and crisp smelling, with just a hint of something mossy. Like a fresh autumn evening personified.

I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.

The fragrance chat has me wondering what Ian Hislop smells like. Bet he’s lovely and crisp smelling, with just a hint of something mossy. Like a fresh autumn evening personified.

I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.

 

[my_escape_from_the_ads]

Same I was incredibly close to my grandparents on my mums side. My mum told me on numerous occasions she wished I'd never been born at all and then disowned me completely at the age of 15. Not seen or heard from her since. Like you she didn't need to tell me, I already knew how she felt all through my childhood. It's a funny old life isn't it.

Gosh. I had no grandparents. I was the youngest of 4 and was a mistake. Told that all through my life. Was basically tormented/bullies by my older siblings and, because I was a bit of a nightmare child (didn’t sleep etc) was told frequently if I’d been the first I’d have been the last Lovely. My elder siblings still resent me to this day. Funnily enough one of them has recently trained to be a counsellor which is quite strange as they are the MOST judgemental person I know and treats me with utter disdain and laughs / mocks me behind my back. Which is just normal for anyone on their radar unless in their clique. As you say, it’s a funny old life. Now in my much older years I’ve grown to accept and ignore and just be.

 

[Silver Linings]

OMG that isn't the slogan surely? They're messing with us. I need to hear Keir Starmer say that stat.

It is indeed. Very funny article on The Poke with people much funnier than Jack covered it.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Hello everyone, first time posting here! Tell me if I'm not doing it right...and apologies for length. I have lots of observations about this chick!
I'm so glad to see these threads about JM as I thought I was the only one who saw through her BS. I used to think she was ok although her culinary ability was always clearly completely exaggerated - an early recipe of hers in the Guard was, IIRC, 'cheesy peas pasta' which was pasta, mushy peas and cheese all heated up together. That was it. That was the recipe. The only way that could be seen as a serious recipe would be if it was on a blog for hardcore stoners who can barely find their kitchen let alone cook in it. But still - I just thought it was the usual Guardian fetishization of the 'deserving poor' especially since she was pretty and LGBT - usual stuff from the Graun.
But as the years went on I could see more and more how fake she is. The first red flags were the constant new health / identity dramas - trans / anorexia / alcoholism / autism etc etc. It was always something. And when I began following her on Twitter I realised that her 'working class single mum' shtick was as fake as they come. Her tone, phraseology and vocabulary are all very middle class and very privately educated posh girl middle class at that. Other working class people on this thread will know exactly what I mean. I grew up WC but got into the MC through going to uni and getting into a MC profession so I've been well placed to see the fundamental differences in the way people communicate. That humorously self-deprecating tone, the arch irony, the quirks like ironically using capitals for A Very Important Thing, subtle word choices (e.g. "your support means the ABSOLUTE WORLD") - WC people just do not talk like this. They are more direct and very, very rarely use self deprecating exaggeration at all. She's faking her background. Of course, Jack's fans wouldn't recognise this as they are all MC themselves.
As for the period of poverty. I believe it's totally exaggerated: not necessarily the depth of it but certainly the time period. Reading between the lines of various interviews I reckon what happened was that she lost her job at the fire station and then had to wait the customary 6 weeks for her benefits to come through. And yeah, if you don't have savings, that 6 weeks is hell. If you have maybe £150 of savings or can get a loan or overdraft then you can eke it out on food but without housing benefit you are truly stuffed when it comes to rent. And yeah it is depressing and terrifying, I fully get that. The thing is it's not uncommon. The things she's talked about (unscrewing lightbulbs, going to bed with clothes on cos cold, not having second helpings) are things that I and many on this thread and MILLIONS of others in this country have experienced, many for much longer than 6 weeks. It's horrible, but usually you manage to get out of it. And it's far from uncommon. But she's made it her entire personality and uses it to fish for constant attention and to bully and dogpile others. I mean, how did she get her big break in the Guardian anyway? I know loads of single mums and none of them have got fawning Guardian articles because they cooked a basic meal. Believe me the girl has media connections. No way did the Guardian just 'find' her. And the thing is her followers believe her tale of woe because they're all MC and the idea of having to ration your heating to them sounds like the equivalent of living in Raqqa under ISIS because they have no idea that this is normal and sometimes what less well-off people just have to do.

As for the dirty hands. I'm ethnically similar to Jack - but a bit further east and both parents. I'm much darker skinned than she is. So I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that that's not melanin, it's DIRT.

FFS, this girl is fake and she's poison. I have some observations about her crappy, damaging use of AA and alcoholism claims too and also the possible psychological effects of her upbringing which could explain her current behaviour but will stop now as don't want to thread hog on my first outing lol

welcome!! And omg I love this post, sorry I’m six years behind the thread but nodded in complete agreement throughout. You’re so right on language, it’s so interesting and nuanced isn’t it...but that gross tweeness is 100% a giveaway, even the baby talk and the gross way she describes food like someone’s posh nana? You’ll have to join the criminal behavioural analysis team on the thread x

Only 20 pages to go til I’m in the future, sorry for bringing this up from ancient history!

 

[GrunkaLunka]

I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.

The amount of times that posted has finished me.

 

[chocolate choux]

OMG that isn't the slogan surely? They're messing with us. I need to hear Keir Starmer say that stat.

Do you have a crush on Sir Keir?

 

[MarmiteExtract]

 

[Silver Linings]

Marmite you win the fastest finger!!

Jack, you jump on that bandwagon. Again.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Also for triangulation I strongly resemble my profile pic and love Flower Bomb, Viktor and Rolf.

Me too, it was my wedding day perfume

 

[Flumps]

I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.


I read the name as Ian Bishop - Harold Bishop/ Ian Smith and thought he'll smell like biscuits. I got very confused with the description of crisp smelling/autumn and had to reread and it all made sense

Having read at a fast pace over the last few days perhaps I can now slow down and read properly again.

U ok, hun?

 

[MarmiteExtract]

The amount of times that posted has finished me.

Same! Never has anyone been that passionate about Ian Bishop’s biscuity scent before

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Do you have a crush on Sir Keir?

Guilty.

 

[Motherwellgirl]

She’s rinsed beans. Spaghetti hoops and peanuts.

Honestly. I can’t take her seriously

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

The amount of times that posted has finished me.

Me too, first time grunkaing through a post rather than a thread