Jack Monroe #416 Food Hero? LMAO, should be in the dock for crimes against pasta.

hoopdedoo · Oct 17, 2022

I really don't get her obsession with shelves and more shelves full of spice containers. For one thing, none of those eighty bazillion spices ever show up in any of her slop recipes. Not that they'd be able to improve the taste, but still. And for another thing, how the hell is anyone supposed to reach the top shelves? Does she have special spice-jar-grabbing tongs on a pole hidden somewhere else in that crowded kitchen?

(Also, she has obviously never had to wash felt-pen writing off kitchen tiles. If she had, she would have quickly found out that even the ones that are supposed to be "erasable" are LYING.)

HotesTilaire · Oct 17, 2022

hoopdedoo said:
I really don't get her obsession with shelves and more shelves full of spice containers. For one thing, none of those eighty bazillion spices ever show up in any of her slop recipes. Not that they'd be able to improve the taste, but still. And for another thing, how the hell is anyone supposed to reach the top shelves? Does she have special spice-jar-grabbing tongs on a pole hidden somewhere else in that crowded kitchen?

(Also, she has obviously never had to wash felt-pen writing off kitchen tiles. If she had, she would have quickly found out that even the ones that are supposed to be "erasable" are LYING.)

All the gear and no idea! Same as the photography

Phillipa78 · Oct 17, 2022

hiyaaaacath said:
Just the two thoughts on this

“It’s not in Jacks nature to turn up empty handed” (shhhhh no one tell the patrons!)

I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to fake a gracious hostess face if someone turned up to my house with microwaved gone off salmon in a jar.

Sometimes it’s better to be empty handed.

Blimey, even worse than the gone off salmon was the description of her thermals that I really didn't need!!
https://giphy.com/8vWS4TnqmVtJe

Griftymcgriftface · Oct 17, 2022

Lumpyspaceprincess said:
Sick of these celebs who should run the government lists. But seeing as Jack neither works nor has a pension I think she’s a particularly bad choice.
View attachment 1658202

What is wrong with these people?

Sglodion · Oct 17, 2022

Valiofthedolls said:
(With six pictures of a chicken.)

has absolutely killed me dead

Satisfying Click · Oct 17, 2022

Wonder how long the daily Twitter bio updates will last for? We're on Day 2 so far. I give it until next week. Can any insomnia fraus inform the canal if it changes at midnight.

Flivver · Oct 17, 2022

Cookiecookie said:
She might actually work a bit too, if she was doing that. At the moment, I think she sacks a lot of it off because eww, Poors. She doesn't want to have to deal with them, and has no concept of actual poverty, hence her overly dramatic stories about old men eating toothpaste, and her beyond Dickensian tales of the Poverty.

She’d be a shoe-in for a GB News presenting job. Her, Widdie and Farage - what a dream team

StatusWoe · Oct 17, 2022

Cookiecookie said:
She might actually work a bit too, if she was doing that. At the moment, I think she sacks a lot of it off because eww, Poors. She doesn't want to have to deal with them, and has no concept of actual poverty, hence her overly dramatic stories about old men eating toothpaste, and her beyond Dickensian tales of the Poverty.

And she wouldn't need to fake an interest in cooking. I'd welcome any career move that kept her a safe distance from the kitchen.

DinosaurSenior · Oct 17, 2022

Actually Widdie reminds me a bit of Mystic Slopbot. In the wig area only. That is where the similarities end.

Mr Krabs · Oct 17, 2022

Bugger13 said:
Kat Slater’s looking rough
Aaagh I keep getting beaten to it. My hot takes are almost as bad as Jack’s

You ain’t my mamapapa.
Yes I am!

Orphan_Black · Oct 17, 2022

Jack Monroe #417 Hard to play the victim when you’ve ripped people off.

Howdy y'all, it's another new thread. Well done @Hollaaa for nomming @Lazarus for our new thread title, you win Jack's sense of honesty, no stealing required. Jackie came back snarky, but has since vanished again. Who knows what Smol Pixie is up to. The Frau's continued their FORENSIC stock...

tattle.life

Toot Toot, NEW THREAD toot, toot

hoopdedoo · Oct 17, 2022

Satisfying Click said:
Wonder how long the daily Twitter bio updates will last for? We're on Day 2 so far. I give it until next week. Can any insomnia fraus inform the canal if it changes at midnight.

View attachment 1658286

Writer
Campaigner
Cookbook author - name on the front but otherwise
Accidental inflation analyst - everything but "accidental"
creator of the VBI - doesn't count as "creating" when it doesn't exist
bylines everywhere - oh, get over yourself, you fabulist
476 days sober - sure, if you say so

jenny2603 · Oct 17, 2022

Flivver said:
She’d be a shoe-in for a GB News presenting job. Her, Widdie and Farage - what a dream team

I would love GB News to bring Jack in as a bit of an irritant to stir it up a bit. You just know she'd swagger in, having done no prep ready to own the haunted hams and be reduced to a shitting dog in about five seconds. At the very least Portillo should get her on his show and confront her about the "shut your legs" incident.

Jack Monroe #416 Food Hero? LMAO, should be in the dock for crimes against pasta.

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