Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can

[overdueanadventure]

That man's getting some praise on Twitter this morning. She'll be frothing. Is there a quick way of telling who she follows?

Those solar lightbulbs are throwing out some powerful illumination, eh?

I know it's been said before, but LED lightbulbs cost so little to run per annum that solar garden lights are not a saving (and surely you'd see the wires and the panels trailing around her rooms?)

This stuff is one of the things that really irritates me - it takes literally seconds to check approx running costs of appliances/electricals, it's not a big mystery that you need to invoke big maths for - and she has a platform where she could give out genuine tips and helpful stuff, and instead it's largely time-consuming, pointless garbage. (ETA: not to mention partly exploded plums.)

 

[Geetbo]

I didnt get to bed till half 2 last night cos I was BUSY and now Jack is doing a facetune chaos.

Do the canal and Jack want me DEAD or something?

 

[nolite]

What a bleeping twit she is. Also; clearly cannot afford shampoo (but can afford another new haircut and blow dry?) and FACETUNE MUCH.

photoshop around the waist and breasts. Such MASCULINE energy…

ETA she looks like a WAG in a Juicy tracksuit from c.2003

So much filter that she has no discernible cheeks.

A question I have wanted to ask for a long time but worried about being offensive: how did her nose change so drastically? She had a neat, cute nose and now she has a massive and quite spread yoke on her face. Is that from.....X......can that happen?

 

[WhyYouCry?]

What a bleeping twit she is. Also; clearly cannot afford shampoo (but can afford another new haircut and blow dry?) and FACETUNE MUCH.

photoshop around the waist and breasts. Such MASCULINE energy…

ETA she looks like a WAG in a Juicy tracksuit from c.2003

Who dis?

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Hello and welcome! What was it that made you snap? Or did you always know she's a High Plains Grifter?

I followed her for a bit but saw quickly that other opinions were not allowed on her posts and she was just plain nasty to people when they quote retweeted with a question. I got fed up with the snark and started seeing comments of her grifting and didn't need to dig too much to read up on all that. She's a typical narcissist. I used to work with one. I can see it. I just want her to be exposed now for the liar she is.

 

[Geetbo]

So much filter that she has no discernible cheeks.

A question I have wanted to ask for a long time but worried about being offensive: how did her nose change so drastically? She had a neat, cute nose and now she has a massive and quite spread yoke on her face. Is that from.....X......can that happen?

Yeah her nose has definitely done a Westbrook.

 

[Fleasyweezy]

That man's getting some praise on Twitter this morning. She'll be frothing. Is there a quick way of telling who she follows?


I know it's been said before, but LED lightbulbs cost so little to run per annum that solar garden lights are not a saving (and surely you'd see the wires and the panels trailing around her rooms?)

This stuff is one of the things that really irritates me - it takes literally seconds to check approx running costs of appliances/electricals, it's not a big mystery that you need to invoke big maths for - and she has a platform where she could give out genuine tips and helpful stuff, and instead it's largely time-consuming, pointless garbage.

And if it genuinely was a cheaper option, don’t you think Martin Lewis would have made mention of her brilliant thriftiness in his recent cost of living crisis advice.

 

[Emmapism]

Pretty rude of her to post whilst I'm on a trip tbh, thank God for jet laggos.

Has she been to the hairdresser AGAIN?

She's in there so often it's almost like she's some kinda idiot who can't manage her income and she isn't poor at all! Makes u

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Didn't she say that she hadn't bought shampoo for two years, rather than "not been to the hairdresser for two years"? Entirely possible, if you're spending every other weekend in posh hotels and taking the toiletries back with you, and you're down the hairdresser every month, to not "buy" shampoo for two years. Tricksie pixie.

She does like to be technically correct, so I think you might be on to something. But it will look incredibly tone deaf if she says it was because of all of the stuff she's been gifted etc.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

So she's done the blue LFC hoodie pose, with a HAIRDO and now the two instas of Content needing a HAIRDO are gone. Did the groomer get confused?

 

[Shawads]

Why the duck do they have a communal wardrobe in a massive (crappy) house bungalow?!

Hungalow. Hungerlow?

 

[moldwarp]

So much filter that she has no discernible cheeks.

A question I have wanted to ask for a long time but worried about being offensive: how did her nose change so drastically? She had a neat, cute nose and now she has a massive and quite spread yoke on her face. Is that from.....X......can that happen?

What I am about to say does NOT apply to Jack. Buttttt some abrasive substances such as the white stuff are known to erode and abrase the cartilage in one's schnozz when taken over a period of years and thus the schnozz cartilage loseth its resilient bounciness and becomes weakened which can give the impression of a flattened, spreading effect.

That doesn't apply to Jack, though, at all, m'lud. I am referring to other slebs and influencers who are not forensically honest and do not go to 10 meetings a week.

Honest.

 

[emeraldopal]

This hoodie pic and the accompanying post. Not sure what vibe she was going for, but it’s giving me a mashup of speak to a manager and Regina George’s mother.

As an ED frau the hoodie pic genuinely upset and triggered me and this made me laugh and neutralised some of her poison, so thank space you <3

Honestly though - how someone in long term ED recovery could be unaware of how damaging this type of tit can be is absolutely unfathomable to me.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

That man's getting some praise on Twitter this morning. She'll be frothing. Is there a quick way of telling who she follows?


I know it's been said before, but LED lightbulbs cost so little to run per annum that solar garden lights are not a saving (and surely you'd see the wires and the panels trailing around her rooms?)

This stuff is one of the things that really irritates me - it takes literally seconds to check approx running costs of appliances/electricals, it's not a big mystery that you need to invoke big maths for - and she has a platform where she could give out genuine tips and helpful stuff, and instead it's largely time-consuming, pointless garbage. (ETA: not to mention partly exploded plums.)

Article yesterday where a certain sausage-roller/TT fan got lots of praise for genius hack = solar charged PIR lights indoors (brighter than garden path bulbs and motion sensors) It almost makes sense. Jack, he took your idea but turned it up to eleven.

 

[Mr Krabs]

She’s got the exact hairdo my aunt got when she went through a divorce in her mid-50s and went to Toni and Guy for a ‘funky’ new hairstyle. I know the early 00s look is back but sheesh.

I don’t get the hoodie thing. Perhaps she’s copying the Real Housewives woman who wore her toddler’s pyjamas. Except it doesn’t work with a manky old primark hoodie.

 

[Shawads]

She really does look a snark in that family snap of her in the pigskin hat.
The spectre at the feast I'll warrant.
Will be interesting to see if she has much input into the new cic in their area..

 

[nolite]

What I am about to say does NOT apply to Jack. Buttttt some abrasive substances such as the white stuff are known to erode and abrase the cartilage in one's schnozz when taken over a period of years and thus the schnozz cartilage loseth its resilient bounciness and becomes weakened which can give the impression of a flattened, spreading effect.

That doesn't apply to Jack, though, at all, m'lud. I am referring to other slebs and influencers who are not forensically honest and do not go to 10 meetings a week.

Honest.

Very interesting. Thank you! I knew it had to be external because your nose doesn't just become big and ugly out of nowhere. It's quite unattractive now, to be honest. It would be enough to deter me from other activities that solidified its status!

That reads really harshly, I just realised. To be clear, she had a lovely little nose and she chose to ruin it, I am not a shallow and looks based Frau normally.

 

[moldwarp]

As an ED frau the hoodie pic genuinely upset and triggered me and this made me laugh and neutralised some of her poison, so thank space you <3

Honestly though - how someone in long term ED recovery could be unaware of how damaging this type of tit can be is absolutely unfathomable to me.

Don't let her get to you. I don't believe she ever met the clinical criteria for the main EDs She just likes to bait and trigger. The real Jack is strong hale and husky. Her body shape's great. Her posture not so much, but that's what spending years bent under the weight of ya own grift does to you.

By the way Fraus I'm loving the current Comeback Playbook she's doing. No #bekind sentiments, no recipes or cost cutting tips - just straight in there with the legal threats. Very loving, much recovery.

You know how a fading rockstar tries to make a comeback by revisitng the sound that originally made them great?

Like how an aging Eminem tried to attain relevance again by making the Marshall Mathers LP 2 which was meant to remind us all of his masterpiece the previous decade?

Well, that's the playbook Jack's following right now. She's trying to rekindle her rep as brave lefty maverick warrior with the I Sue White Wing Bastards LP 2.

Very interesting. Thank you! I knew it had to be external because your nose doesn't just become big and ugly out of nowhere. It's quite unattractive now, to be honest. It would be enough to deter me from other activities!

That reads really harshly, I just realised. To be clear, she had a lovely little nose and she chose to ruin it, I am not a shallow and looks based Frau normally.

Yeah that's why Stevie Nicks had HER snow flushed up her bum, so she could preserve her singing voice from the nasal ravages, and preserve the shape of her lovely honker.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Self quoting ninnie back with more exciting watch chat (sorry). I think hers may be a chronograph as well, as there appears to be three knobs/buttons on the right side. So could be something like this one. There aren't many watches made with that pattern of chain links, a lot use a single large link running down the centre, so should be easier to 🔺️it.

(I've had a stressful morning, this is distracting me! )

Spoiler: watch chat

It's a chronograph because it has pushers, 2 pushers and a winder in the middle (winder might be fake and just used for time adjustment). Note the watch case lugs are longer than the link next to them, also the first row appears to be part of the bracelet like on a more expensive watch. The Rotary first row is all one piece.

 

[ohhhhvienna]

Chef rant incoming:

I know she’s back on Twitter (gotta get those 100 hours in SOMEHOW I guess ) but the other day I was scrolling through her ig, going through pictures and pictures of slop, and found this absolute nightmare of a situation!

Very soft, probably very flat tasting lentils because god forbid poor people want their food to taste layered and interesting (Jack I’m begging you to use a herb) topped with A FISH FILLET POACHED IN ITS DEFROSTED JUICES. Why. Why why why. Why not, say, some fresh water instead? Perhaps flavoured with the stalks from, say, the parsley you could have folded through the lentils to finish? Or a little splash of the nonalcoholic wine? I can’t believe I have to point out that defrosting juices are not an ingredient

For me at the end of the day, even with the awful patreon and professional victim stuff, her most outrageous grift is that this so called “food writer” knows next to nothing about what it means to cook good food.