Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

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Shawads

I thank you. Joey/ me riding in on a white ceramic dog is chef's kiss indeed.
je suis arrivé!

Really enjoying the @Bootstrap_Cook furore and how all the jackstans are tagging #naughtyjack when they tell #griftjack they've reported #naughtyjack thus increasing #naughtyjack's reach even further

When I was drifting off last night I had some fun inventing more parody account names, @bootstrapcock was my top fave, apologies if someone already mooted this un.
I've forgotten all the others ...error....
Boostrapscrock (ashit)?
 
Reactions: 30

Valiofthedolls

Somebody else had done it first and had an article in the guardian about it, coincidentally just eleven days before Jack herself claimed to have discovered old shopping lists as a BRAND NEW THING nobody had ever thought of before (in a puddle. Yes, the puddle giveth once more)

Experience: I collect other people’s old shopping lists | Life and style | The Guardian

If I see a discarded list, I grab it and keep it. There’s one with just ‘Milk’ and ‘Lube’; another with just ‘Celery’
amp.theguardian.com
Also, “portal of puzzle and promise”, and for bonus points a “painstakingly”. What. A. Twat. (Again)

(Credit to Sidey B for the screenies)
 
Reactions: 59

FlirtyThirty

Ugh that was one of my LEAST FAVOURITE Jacks. VOM.

Can someone please tell me what would happen if I WAS attacked by a bacon narwhal only I'm worrying about it thank(space)you in advance.
 
Reactions: 35

Chap O

Yeah but you also supposed to wash them too.
 
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Valiofthedolls

FlirtyThirty said:
Ugh that was one of my LEAST FAVOURITE Jacks. VOM.

Can someone please tell me what would happen if I WAS attacked by a bacon narwhal only I'm worrying about it thank(space)you in advance.
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You would just eat it. Unless you don’t eat bacon for some reason, in which case you would just get out of the water and make your escape where it couldn’t follow.

Anyway, it wouldn’t attack you in the first place. I saw a narwhal in Elf. They’re kind, thoughtful, altruistic and supportive creatures. Sort of the anti-Jack really.
 
Reactions: 34

FlirtyThirty

Thank you dearheart. I'm not sure I could eat a whole one but I can but try, as long as it's not been cooked by Jack...
 
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miss_terious

She really does love the word "painstakingly". Wonder if she knows what it means.

Lalalalalalalalalalala said:
I agree but I think everyone does it nowadays, at least she is honest, says its for her and there's no manupulation
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I thought it was part of the parody, tbh. Whereas Jack has all these "donate here it's for charity" type fundraisers that go straight to her own pocket, not!Jack is very openly saying "here's a way to give me money if you feel like it" without the whole rigamarole of pretending it's for a Good Cause.
 
Reactions: 27

WTFDidIJustSee

Babe, same. My ActuallyADHD brain needs everything in front of my face or I’ll forget it exists/won’t be able to find it. I don’t have a lot of stuff, any stuff, for this exact reason and it’s why I always feel the need to reach for the Diazepam whenever I see photos of all the clutter mountains and rammed drawers in Cacks house.
 
Reactions: 22

Malkiavelli

katy_beans said:
View attachment 1627896
A new slop! Another recipe in progress! Another insistence on telling us how many people are (supposedly) in her household!
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She’ll never publish anything related to this again because she knows deep down that throwing left-over veg in a dish, cracking some eggs and grating some cheese over the top and sticking it under a grill, can not be called a “recipe” by anyone. Let alone someone who claims to be a “literal food expert”. *I* could make this, my child could make this, literally *anyone* could make this and with a tad more effort, could likely make it better.
#suchafuckinggrifter
 
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M

moldwarp

Now hang on. This is the woman who made her recipe debut in the Guardian with a “recipe” for spaghetti with cheese and peas.

Method: Mix spaghetti with cheese and peas.
 
Reactions: 48

ForgettyBetty

Insta, someone commented "this looks Moroccan" I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. 1) it totally doesn't 2) it has ham in
 
Reactions: 68

Madonna_Claws

AndrewsDaddy said:
The rabbit is dead.
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Did she make a slop stew out of the bunny when it died? If not, why not? That's the whole raison d'être of her 'career' [sic] after all, nothing goes to waste.

That's a bit tasteless, but then so is her slop. I occasionally look after a rabbit 🔺️, he is a psycho nutter but so sweet and funny. Jack can't have nice things because she doesn't look after them.
 
Reactions: 19

HotesTilaire

“I like breasts, babe” is oft attributed to Leggy however it’s apparently an earlier partner (Jack seems to have blown up two relationships in the same way) because Jack revealed this in the trans/Allegra breakup phase, it’s been attributed to poor Allegra.
 
Reactions: 34

AnnRKey

Well, at least she admitted that she writes entirely fictional stuff.
 
Reactions: 20

Vanelope

It openly says you are paying the twitter account runner for doing nothing more than tweeting. Really shows up the grift.
Its all content - some people like to tip for that.

chefs kiss would be if in a week they donated it to NOT the Trussel trust
 
Reactions: 27
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