Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

[MoistenedGussets]

"That's not a profile picture, that's a cry for help"

Thread Title Nomination

It's just.. cooks kiss, which is like a chef's kiss, but with more slop.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Agatha Grifty thinks she’s where she lives in my head, rent free? Jack you live in my iPad where I am aghast at your latest nonsense, day after day for about 2 years now.

I’m praying for a plot twist reveal that Tom Potato Legend is behind the parody account!

 

[allybongo]

It fucking grates my spam every time she says ‘wee’ - and I’m not even Scottish

 

[Mel Donte]

Someone on TikTok has tried one of Jack's recipes

Spoiler

Its's shit

 

[LadyGarden]

This seems to be going well for you, Jack.

Parody account was on 274 followers when you tweeted about them. Free publicity was a very kind thing for you to do.

It's like Patreon Watch, but with the figures going in the opposite direction

Spoiler: Parody follower count

 

[Bugger13]

This is what happens when you attract gullible squigs

 

[Cookiecookie]

One of the most neglected knives there is worth over £300 as well.

What on earth did she do to them to trash them so quickly as well?

My dad met my mum in 1976. To try and show he was a responsible guy she should go out with, he bought a bread knife to make his own sandwiches in order to save money. We still use that bread knife (as in it's been used today) and it looks nothing like any of Jack's.

 

[Geetbo]

How bad would your day have to be. Like seriously I would need to have been made homeless, told that everyone I loved had died in a freak yachting accident and that I have gonorrhea.

I can say with absolute certainty that I would rather have that super gonorrhoea that turns your bellend green than eat Jack's anchovy butter.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Jack, this is your professional account, for work.

View attachment 1622021

And it’s not rent free Jack. It’s going to cost you. You live in a tiny part of my head along with a gazillion other things I’m able to juggle around. Including occasionally doing ACTUAL unpaid voluntary work, political and environmental activism, anti-fashing, advice/money/time donations to young adult offspring and having a job in the health and social care sector. I’m also a pretty good cook. This means that you are on my radar in the same way that nasty little racists and greedy, lying Tory governments are. I am willing to donate a bit of my time and energy to pushing back against that shit coz I don’t like it, it’s not good for society, it hurts people and it’s wrong.
You take money from people, who often probably can’t afford it and spend it on yourself. You then lie about your purchases and your life in general in order to keep your con going. That is wrong.
Oh and so you know-the racist org I was campaigning against collapsed under scrutiny and it’s leader went to prison for multiple frauds and the Tory government I’ve been campaigning against is also burned it’s last bridge with its greediness. So far I’m 2/3 of things I want to stop happening.
Go well pal.

 

[Boyo]

How long do we give her before she starts tweeting again?

She never stopped

 

[jenny2603]

Which now has 1061 followers

It had roughly 300 when Jack tried to set the flying morons on to it. What a successful first day, she's had. Looking forward to tomorrow's chaos.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Also confused, if your taking a break then keep your account offline.

She's actually done something quite sensible, provided she can stop tweeting. If you delete an account, the name becomes available after 30 days and you can bet that there are people who will have set themselves a reminder to try and steal it when the 30 days are up. When this is your brand, you need to keep control of the associated names on social media.

If she's genuinely taking a break, she needs to hand the account over to a publicist and get them to change the password so she can't tweet from it, and the publicist needs to start tweeting professional things from this professional account, such as recipes, and signposting to support agencies, and so on.

 

[Boyo]

Slopadder presents
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Spoiler: TV Version

(thankspaceyou to @heretoreaditall2019 for the diligent pic grab) View attachment 1623276

Spoiler: Smol

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Spoiler: Smoller

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Spoiler: Smollest

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By tomorrow:

 

[Foxvint]

She'll never pass the mic. Many times as a working class woman who was a genuinely struggling single mum I've read a guardian article and thought I've been saying that for years, where's my paid-per-word piece? It's like our experiences are only real and deserving once there's 1 of their own middle class gang to articulate them.

She's admitted herself she's not poor (anymore, lol) so why not shout out some working class blogs or resources? Well Jack's inadvertently given herself away on that one with that snotty entitled Verruca Salt of an answer to that squig that time. It was something like 'you're not using my platform I worked to build sunshine'. Me me me. She's a pig.

 

[terfette]

Yuk. She’s so ungrateful. We used to rent a teeny 2 bed terrace with a bathroom off the kitchen and loved every minute of it. We’d always lived in shared houses and flats-just having our own front door was a buzz! This kind of comment she makes about her housing situation sums her lack of genuine knowledge/experience up-she’d know how lucky she was, draughts, leaks and all if she’d ever experienced the real shitty end of the housing market-space is such a luxury-not to mention gardens and outbuildings. My friend had to keep her kids bikes under her bed because her flat was so high up and so small. It’s shit like that she’ll never understand.

Absolutely. I was thinking about that last night.

Spoiler: me-rail

When my ex and our kids moved back to our home town, the first place we rented turned into a nightmare. The landlord had bodged over several problems before viewing as they do. A year and a month in, I ended up at the council having the following conversation after environmental health refused to come out and see the state of the place. We had no money from constantly replacing clothes and bedding due to how bad the mould was. The boiler was completely broken. We were all sick. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s something I was 100 percent serious about doing

“I’ve got a can of petrol in my van. If someone doesn’t come and see what we are living in, I will send my partnerto my mums with the children and as soon as he gets there, I will set fire to it”

council lady “you know you’ll get in trouble for that”

“yes, it’s arson, I’ll probably go to prison, but then you will have to help my partner and children”

within an hour, environmental health had condemned the property with three pages of category 1 health hazards.

Jack has NO IDEA what desperation is in this situation and it boils my piss reading terms like “shitty bungalow”. She is absolutely clueless

 

[FrankReagan]

don’t you want me baby

No. WARNED.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Someone on TikTok has tried one of Jack's recipes

Spoiler

Its's shit

'Entirely average'
And that is being generous I bet. And she had to add salt and cheese to make it barely palatable.

I was just thinking about fierce campaigner Jack. Up for awards because of it. Yet scuttled off Twitter and in a sulk because people laughed at potatoes. Honestly if I had a burning conviction my presence on SM would help even one person there is no way I would be driven off by minor insults.
And what did she pop back to do? Post vital helpful info in these awful times? Signpost people to organisations?
No. She made attempts to protect her 'brand' against a person with about 150 followers.
Utterly pathetic.

 

[shugabug23]

I can’t sleep again, so watching old Greys Anatomy to help me nod off. Y’all, it didn’t bloody help! Happened upon an episode from a decade or more ago about a woman with Munchausen's. First time I’ve seen the ep since being on Tattle and I scared the fluff monkey shouting at the telly “THAT’S WHAT JACK HAS!” 🫣

Spoiler: Merail but also thanks for letting me speak out loud at 3am!

So, was talking to my Dad earlier. He had some news. 18 months after my Mum passed, he has a gf. All grand, no bother. But I’m the first person (eldest child, he’s telling no one else) that he’s spoke to about it so was all giddy and excited, lovely. But ya know.. when you’re like “fuck me, I need to change the convo ”.

I ended up in meticulous detail explaining the Jackoverse in full. He either thinks I’ve lost the fecking plot, or I’m absolutely super duper excited about his gf and just exchanging weekly gossip.

Makes you think. Soz for me railing but it’s 3am and I needed to say it out loud. Send Xanaxo’s

 

[That Forensic Man]

Now ~THAT~ is a parody!

Wtf is going on with the nose and mouth (again)??

ETA -

okie dokie

 

[Tin Can Crook]

As a person with many abondonned projects, I have some sympathy for stranded projects (I still need to finsih some upholstery I started three years ago... ). But those are things that are not out there in the public that affect my professional profile.

I also struggle with this which is why I plan ahead and start things publicly when I have the materials actually ready. She could have called out of her twitter for writers to commission before announcing the project. I wonder if she ever even picked up her emails. She had people willing to help her.

Her motivations are really clear. Financial gain and to get a lovely dopamine hit by getting praise for doing it. Once that's faded, she's no longer interested because she only cares about herself.

Not really sure why she launched a whole new twitter account and website for this. She could easily have made it a series on her regular website?