Jack Monroe #407 I lost hours yesterday learning about a Jack Monroe

[Dogmuck]

Big thanks to all the canal who listened to the entire BBC radio Scotland morning programme - you were all hilarious- from feet to fungal nails to nasal honk- I was sat on a beach in the sunshine hooting out loud, great commentary all, thank you for all you do

 

[upsidedown33]

The OP of that tweet later suggests that it's the ongoing joke about her solicitor not working tomorrow due to their religion.

Oh I assumed it was much more dramatic but this does indeed make sense

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Oh that's a long standing thing and one of the few things I think she might be telling the truth about.

I tend to disbelieve everything Jacks says, and I can't decide if her refusals to ever calorie content anything is because she wants to hide the fact it's barely enough for a family of brambly mice to live on, let alone adult humans, or if it's because she does have eating issues.

In other news, this 'squig' is still genuinely recommend people buy in to Jacks patreon and being very belligerent to people saying 'but you don't get anything?'

My eyeballs have disappeared round the back of my head again, send replacementos

 

[MarchingPowder]

It's funny what you guys are saying about whether Jack actually is an alcoholic. A friend sat on her table at an industry 'do' quite some years ago (maybe 2017? 2016? I think when she claimed she was still heavily drinking) and apparently she barely drank, barely ate anything and disappeared to the loos for long stretches with her date between every course for some pretty blatant Coca Cola consumption.
I sometimes wonder if she's actually getting clean from a class A habit but just chose to say it's alcohol as it's more palatable to her flying monkeys and celeb supporters, and above all, a lot cheaper.

 

[Just Lou]

Oh I assumed it was much more dramatic but this does indeed make sense

Me too. I've got to admit I'm disappointed.

 

[Bugger13]

Reminding the canal of her "meal ideas" List she inflicted upon us on the 6th where she "chained meals" via ingredients.

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I still haven't worked out what the benefit of sharing this was.

She was after people saying ‘Wow you creative genius, and such lovely handwriting. Here’s a house point’.
The reality was no doubt she was scrolling insta & nicking ideas.

I tend to disbelieve everything Jacks says, and I can't decide if her refusals to ever calorie content anything is because she wants to hide the fact it's barely enough for a family of brambly mice to live on, let alone adult humans, or if it's because she does have eating issues.

In other news, this 'squig' is still genuinely recommend people buy in to Jacks patreon and being very belligerent to people saying 'but you don't get anything?'

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My eyeballs have disappeared round the back of my head again, send replacementos

I’d love to know on what basis this fool thinks Jack, with all her high end goods, is more deserving than someone homeless, or a child/OAP/someone who actually can’t work & is in genuine poverty? It’s genuinely so disgusting to see this-sucking up because Jack’s a minor Twitter celeb rather than actually giving a tit about helping others.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

You’ve just made me visualise a human centipede, modelled out of grated spam and mince. Tbf, Jack’s conga line of burger matter prob tastes like it’s been passed though three bumholes.

Colin the human centipede birthday cake coming up ...

 

[Mallerenga]

I tend to disbelieve everything Jacks says, and I can't decide if her refusals to ever calorie content anything is because she wants to hide the fact it's barely enough for a family of brambly mice to live on, let alone adult humans, or if it's because she does have eating issues.

I think she probably never bothered to calculate how many calories her meals had and she just deployed the ED card when someone pointed it out.

I mean, I could believe she has eating issues because what woman her (our) age doesn't or didn't have them at some point, frankly, but I'm sure she just wheeled it out like she wheels out all of the rest just to deflect criticism.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

That catch up was hilarious! Bless you brave ninnies learning all about manky fungal feet this morning! Does anyone know if we can listen to her radio piece anywhere? Just curious to hear how rough she sounds really. Maybe it was a chilly night last night?

@pleaserefundme - interesting tea frau! Look forward to the coming weeks

 

[usefullyuseless]

Reminding the canal of her "meal ideas" List she inflicted upon us on the 6th where she "chained meals" via ingredients.

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I still haven't worked out what the benefit of sharing this was.

Fish and chickpea stew
Pate and lentil bolognese

WHY?

ETA why so many chicken and prune dishes?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Reminding the canal of her "meal ideas" List she inflicted upon us on the 6th where she "chained meals" via ingredients.

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I still haven't worked out what the benefit of sharing this was.

ONE HUNDRED HOUR WORK WEEK innit. Also she has a shitload of those diaries* to fill and absolutely nothing to fill them with.

I will never not absolutely love that she self-importantly does an hours-long “stocktake” like she’s a flagship city centre branch of British Home Stores (RIP). Respect to you, Jack. It’s what they would have wanted.

Spoiler: *shitload of those diaries

 

[Feck]

Well she does have form for having a little extra with her burgers. Burger stock soup though!!

It didn't occur to me earlier when I was retching over the suggestion of burger soup but, who has left-over burgers anyway? You cook the amount of burgers for the amount of people there to eat them, surely? Then the thrifty tip would be to freeze the extra burgers for another day. She's really not very good at this is she?

 

[Enwre]

I tend to disbelieve everything Jacks says, and I can't decide if her refusals to ever calorie content anything is because she wants to hide the fact it's barely enough for a family of brambly mice to live on, let alone adult humans, or if it's because she does have eating issues.

In other news, this 'squig' is still genuinely recommend people buy in to Jacks patreon and being very belligerent to people saying 'but you don't get anything?'

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My eyeballs have disappeared round the back of my head again, send replacementos

Some really do deserve what they get. I have a bridge I’m trying to sell if they have such spare funds. Seriously, sometimes you cannot protect stupid from stupid.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

It didn't occur to me earlier when I was retching over the suggestion of burger soup but, who has left-over burgers anyway? You cook the amount of burgers for the amount of people there to eat them, surely? Then the thrifty tip would be to freeze the extra burgers for another day. She's really not very good at this is she?

It's all I can think about. It makes no sense and it's clear it isnt something she does.

ONE HUNDRED HOUR WORK WEEK innit. Also she has a shitload of those diaries* to fill and absolutely nothing to fill them with.

I will never not absolutely love that she self-importantly does an hours-long “stocktake” like she’s a flagship city centre branch of British Home Stores (RIP). Respect to you, Jack. It’s what they would they would have wanted.

Spoiler: *shitload of those diaries

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It's so stupidly inefficient. You have to be insanely time rich to do this every shop. Wouldn't it be much easier to use a spreadsheet and remove items as you use them? Then if you have potatoes (dire), but you don't use them that week, you don't waste time writing down "potatoes" (dire) again. It's such a huge waste of time.

Get a spreadsheet woman! Google sheets is free!

 

[DoomaThurman]

She's live now I think.

ETA: FFS woman, buy some Otrivine and use it!

Classic

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Much as I love this as a thread title nomination
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it feels a bit too much like crossing the streams. So can I please nominate new thread title virtuoso @Brian Butterfield’s “a middle class cosplaying toxic

My posts are chopping off sorry! Send cohesivenessos! “A middle class cosplaying toxic bully and fraudster”

 

[overdueanadventure]

I think she probably never bothered to calculate how many calories her meals had and she just deployed the ED card when someone pointed it out.

I mean, I could believe she has eating issues because what woman her (our) age doesn't or didn't have them at some point, frankly, but I'm sure she just wheeled it out like she wheels out all of the rest just to deflect criticism.

I think in past threads there's been some discussion of this issue. Personally, to be somewhat facetious, I can believe she has (or sensory issues with texture) because, well, she *hates* food but is also obsessed with it.

 

[Lauradianalou]

Do we think that Jack’s vanishing from Twitter is because the podcast contacted her for comment?

Yes, I do.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Well this is a lovely catch-up after a really hard couple of shifts-just what the day off ordered. I’m absolutely mind-blown by the Spenny List. It’s yet more confirmation (none more needed) that she’s a liar and a grifter and an entitled, embittered Tory who feels done wrong. The brands she buys are frankly insane. They are the brands of the upper middle classes-when I was house-cleaning we would see the Emma Bridgewater and the Penhaligons and the Cotswold cabinets galore. It makes me lol how trad she is when she spends so much time and money playing kooky quirky thrift store Jack.
Are the tattoos on the list or did a travelling tattoo apprentice insist on her being their muse?

 

[houseofhoop]

Oh I assumed it was much more dramatic but this does indeed make sense

I thought it meant there might be a newsworthy item ‘dropping’ tomorrow and I got all excited like Christmas time