Jack Monroe #400 The utter narcissism of this obscure cook

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Am very sorry if this breaks the rules on new thread but two points of order here.

1. You dont have to sift. YES YOU DO!!! YES YOU FUCKING WELL DO.
2. Prunes instead of dates. What the fuck? What the actual fuck.
Thats all I had to say.. Sorry.
Points of order hehe.
Thank you Jackie Weaver
 
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Went to go check if Google search volume for Jack had increased this weekend, it hasn’t, but interesting compared the past 12 months with the past 90 days (or 3 months) that whilst Jack Monroe tattle has been her highest search query in both periods, the discrepancy between that term and “Jack Monroe recipes” has widened significantly (pls see attached images). Then thought why not compare the two lifetime, and look, what a sight! Pretty much since the inception of these threads we’ve had more interest than her slop. The steep incline in that line suggests her tattle has been at its most searched for over the last couple of weeks…. Makes u think!



 

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That's got to be her only hope of salvaging a career at this point.
Yes, I think I've said it before. Dramatic spiral, then off to The Priory, big return with "What I Learned About Myself and The Haterz in Rehab" articles and book, look at meeeee I'm such a smol waif of a pixie, I forgive you all, beautific smile as of the Little Match Girl about to cark it in the snow, everyone laps it up, she retires to forever home.
 
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She should do something about that. Like maybe, idk post the pancake recipe?

I'm still a bit dumbstruck by one of her flying monkeys being caught in a lie about actually cooking her recipes purely because Jack never delivers her promises. It's so obvious none of them have tried the slop.
 
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At this rate, she'll soon be catching up with Hinch. Chapeau, you nefarious mendacious vexatious ninnies!
I have a feeling she’s made a bet with Hinch that she’ll pass her in number of threads before midnight on NYE this year.

If Jack does it, she wins, and Hinch has to give Jack her house. If Jack doesn’t manage it and Hinch wins, Jack’s promised that Hinch will never ever have to eat one of Jack’s recipes, hear her sing, play an instrument, recite her poetry or watch her dance. Hinch figured (as many of us might in the same position) that the risk to her house was worth the reward.

Let’s not forget that Jack has been announcing a move “in six months” since pretty much exactly 6 months before NYD 2023. Makes you think.
 
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I'm terrible at guessing what Jack will do next, but I'm thinking we'll get a toot too, life beyond my wildest dreams, wonderful day with friends (who exist) and family (who aren't pissed at her) remembering her maj (though she's not a royalist).
 
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One of the squigs has posted an astute analysis about how Jack is potentially caught in arrested development and has a parent child relationship with her fans and critics, with Jack the child, her fans the gentle nurturing parent and her critics the ones telling her to tidy her room, with Jack rebelling and not in any sense seeking to evolve past those roles (eg, by responding to nurture by growing and taking responsibility , or responding to criticism with an explanation and making things right)
 
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Am very sorry if this breaks the rules on new thread but two points of order here.

1. You dont have to sift. YES YOU DO!!! YES YOU FUCKING WELL DO.
2. Prunes instead of dates. What the fuck? What the actual fuck.
Thats all I had to say.. Sorry.
Point 2 - I am now a fan of substituting prunes for everything in my dull mundane life.

My carpet needed vacuuming, but what the heck - threw a few prunes on it & Hey Presto, good as new.

Thank(space)you Jack for all that you do
 
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I'm terrible at guessing what Jack will do next, but I'm thinking we'll get a toot too, life beyond my wildest dreams, wonderful day with friends (who exist) and family (who aren't pissed at her) remembering her maj (though she's not a royalist).
i think we’ll get an actual recipe.it won’t be good, but it will be a recipe.
 
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She’s obviously off somewhere flailing about in a kids paddling pool living her best life.
 
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Oh yes she is a textbook example of the drama triangle and stuck in child/victim mode.
 
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I recall a previous post where Karpman’s drama triangle was referenced, which I found very fitting.
 
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She'll have been ever so softly wrapped in three fluffy layers of cotton blankies, scooped up, whisked off, force fed and placed gently back on couch-bed by an ever so supportive friend/family member/burger boy/housemate, obv
 
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Could you share this please? It sounds like a really interesting analogy and I think it is pretty accurate.

She'll have been ever so softly wrapped in three fluffy layers of cotton blankies, scooped up, whisked off, force fed and placed gently back on couch-bed by an ever so supportive friend/family member/burger boy/housemate, obv
Exactly this. She said a couple of days/weeks/months ago that burger boy seen how difficult a time she was having and reacted by bringing her a burger then pounding her for 6 hours before vanishing into the night. If he seen that, is she hoping he’ll see this and come back?
 
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The whole postcard plan was badly thought out. Nobody wants that much stuff sent. Digital content with the odd thing sent in the post, for Christmas, would have kept them all deliriously happy.
I know she says she needs a camera man or whatever to film, you don’t, almost everyone on social media manages just fine.

BTW there wouldn’t be a recipe for the peasants pudding. Didn’t she just steal the other persons recipe and use cheaper ingredients?
 
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I'm so sad that the awful prune monstrosity was mentioned. I have just accepted delivery of ingredients for a sticky toffee pudding (Nigella's recipe) that I've been thinking about all weekend, and now I'll have that in the back of my mind. Condensed milk with water is not a sauce. Aaah!
 
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