Jack Monroe #398 A subscription to JackazonPrime+

[MoistenedGussets]

This is your Local Monroe Chaos Report.

With the north westerly wind moving on the signs are that The Chaos may now dissipate.
As it falls from Twitter Trending in favour of Women Speaking, we may see clear skies and a quiet night for Chaosing, expected to end around 12-1am.

Tomorrow we may see it pick up a little as the focus will be on a funeral. Very little chance of televisual appearance as who wants a filthy pixie commenting on royal funerals? Not bleeping me.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Am I right in thinking she’s not been The Queue yet?

I would be difficult, too many people would recognise her and want to sidle up to her to whisper into her lil dormouse ear 'thanks for all you do' and she wouldn't want to take the attention away from Her Maj as it's really her special time, not Jack's.

 

[jenny2603]

Fraus! I must say I did LOL earlier when I saw someone describe Jack as the 'Bootlicking Cook' instead of 'Bootstrap Cook'. (Apologies if this has already been said).

BIB: Thread title nomination.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

lmao

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I’m not really understanding that whole timeline/story arc.

 

[SadieHQ]

Good grief - I’m actually starting to feel sorry for her. All bloody day this has been going on, getting progressively worse. When it gets to the stage where people are telling you to log off for your own health and sanity….do it. And thanks to the Frau/Herr who posted the 2013 screenshots of her posting the same ‘evil trolls want me dead’ bollocks….surely at this point it would be less hassle just to…..you know…get an actual job???

 

[MissMarple10]

Whatever chaos is happening in my own life I will never, ever, ever retweet one of my own tweets, beyond toe curling

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack's putting her cat to bed. For some reason.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I wonder how her volunteering session at the foodbank went this weekend?

 

[Just Lou]

I’m sure it’s been said already, but she changed his name without his dad knowing about it.

What?! I didn't think that was possible for one and by her own admission he's a good dad and all round good bloke so why the duck would you do that?!

 

[FrankReagan]

lmao

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[mackjonroe]

So I’ve had to actually leave the house today and socialise and I’ve missed LOADS. She’s is the gift that just keeps on giving.

 

[hiyaaaacath]

A Scouse firefighter! #YNWA

i reckon they know each other IRL - that’s mortifying

 

[TheUnknownStuntman]

I would be difficult, too many people would recognise her and want to sidle up to her to whisper into her lil dormouse ear 'thanks for all you do' and she wouldn't want to take the attention away from Her Maj as it's really her special time, not Jack's.

hmmmmm you’re right of course, my bad and of course, the accessible queue was closed early.

 

[Veronicaaa]

In response to the Lowkey tweet, which now has 11k likes

 

[Just Lou]

I was bored for ten minutes this afternoon so I designed some t-shirts. Available to nefarious ninnies for just £49.99 / $89.99 / 100 eur (sorry, don't know current exchange rate in as much as I'm too lazy to check). Cheap as chips, really.

Was thinking of a limited release for PARTY TIME in THREAD 400 (which could be any second now the way Monroe is acting!).

~ If you really do have a life, Jack Monroe, why not go live it? Because making a complete arse of yourself on Twatter definitely ISN'T living your best one, nor is it "socking it" to Borbora et al, who - rest assured - won't give a tit about you. IYKWIM. Go well, pal. ~

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Omg I really want one of these now but I can't choose!

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Ooh, it's the Minute's Silence.

Will she stop tweeting?

 

[House of Carbonara]

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Oops, that's a *big* account with a fair reach...

 

[ForgettyBetty]

I think Jack is confusing libel with slander. With a 100% success rate for suing people you would have thought she would know the difference.

All criticism is interchangeable

 

[HoopLaa]

I've said it a few times now, but yeah I'm absolutely sure she's not sober right now. In recovery myself (nearly 3 years) and it takes one to know one...

Who behaves like this? And who is watching this massive meltdown thinking she's NOT massively problematic?!

Gosh, tomorrow is going to be one hell of a headache for her.

 

[hydeist]

Just a lil random twitter search for lil ol me. First three results -

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I'd like to nominate "Jack Monroe is, in simple terms, a jabroni" for thread title