Jack Monroe #397 Note to self pick up more Lil’ smokies when in Tblisi

[Griftymcgriftface]

She's being harassed by the CBeebies??

Thread title nomination.

 

[MavisBeacon]

I was just having a little thought about her reality TV comments. That she’s turned loads down.

I’m inclined to believe her. She’s the right type of famous - known, but not *too* well know - and argumentative as hell; which makes great TV.

But why would someone who is so fame hungry ‘turn down’ reality TV? She clearly thinks she’s a great singer and dancer. And all round superstar. So the only thing I can think of, is that it’s because she knew she couldn’t do reality TV and continue with her substance abuse. So perhaps if she really *is* now clean, that’s going to be the next move…hence the aesthetics work, all the appearances, singing on Twitter etc.

Which would honestly be incredible, because under that sort of pressure, her true self would come shining through…

Coming right from the past to say Strictly would be interesting (or anything else with a demanding physical component) as it's very physically demanding and yet she is so very crumbly and disabled. Or she's fit and active bench-pressing the queen. I don't think partnered dancing would be good for her ouchy shoulder, and what if she has one of those days when she "can't get up the stairs"? Hmmm, what a conundrum. Exposure on TV and the opportunity to show off her dancing talent and win versus keeping up the "multiple disabilities" act? Although she would probably make a big thing of it and get the sympathy vote for a bit

 

[Tittykitty]

‘Put chickpeas in pan and add the onions’
And the angels and all the little children wept.
She just has no clue does she? No love for food at all and no desire to learn. Maybe if she’d bought one good recipe book and read it she’d have seen that onions go first. Would’ve been more use than 100’s of unread books taking up 9 bookcases. The ability to start a sauce from an onion and a garlic clove or two is essential in all cooking - especially the kind she says she’s promoting or ‘having to do because poor’. She says she promotes using what you have in but then what she has in is just thin beans and eyeball sosiges and crunchy little onions. Why can’t we have nice things?

Never mind chickpeas and onions, I give you sprout scones

 

[MooBelle]

I’m a terrible cook but these recipes make me look good! I remember seeing an American recipe book as a young person and it’s similar - everything savoury has a “can of soup” in it, all cakes involve a packet of cake mix. Bonkers.

I made some salsa from an American recipe once.
The sugar was a heavier weight than the tomatoes. It actually burned your mouth when you ate it. And it made you thirsty just as if you'd been eating salt.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Oh I think Jack's up and socking on an account made in July that follows 4 people including Martin D and whose activity is criticising him and Lozza and now that lady who accused Jack of blocking her.

 

[hooplifehero]

I was just grunking as i made my young son his breakfast and turned to see he was loading his toy excavator with water then tipping it over the Cheerios.
well done I said, you’ve made soggy hoops.

and then realised … this is almost exactly like a Jack recipe!

now he’s invented Mumajack’s breakfast bowls

 

[heretic]

Never mind chickpeas and onions, I give you sprout scones

This is upsetting, and I speak as a sprout fan.

 

[Hollaaa]

Never mind chickpeas and onions, I give you sprout scones

That's a step too far even for Dr Ian Malcolm.

 

[Georgia C. Suppers]

Never mind chickpeas and onions, I give you sprout scones

‘Make a well (a kind of hole)’.

How stupid does she think her readers are?! Actually don’t answer that

 

[definitelynotvlad]

Also, learn. Your. Grammar, you moron. Either 'needs dealing with' or ' needs to be dealt with. Hrmpf.
Sorry, just me being annoyed at stupidness.

“Needs dealt with” is a perfectly acceptable way of saying it where I live , depends where squig is from as it’s likely colloquialism (a colloquialism? WFK leave me alone you nefarious trolls).

 

[Hollaaa]

‘Make a well (a kind of hole)’.

How stupid does she think her readers are?! Actually don’t answer that

It's very tempting to nominate part of that (in brackets) for thread title but SHAN'T.

 

[Cashio e pepe]

Jack's story has changed so much over the years with her lies, exaggerations, omissions that she has a real struggle with the truth. Tattle is her reference library. She can't ignore us; we are her link to reality.

 

[Bwidge]

I was famous for my chilli in the 80's . It was good but not great ( again it was the 80's).

I will share it here, it is a decent base (and not JM abhorant) Keep your expectations low.

Spoiler: Marj's chilli

A tablespoon of oil
1lb of mince from the butchers
A diced onion
A couple of cloves of crushed garlic
1 teaspoon of cumin
1_teaspoon of oregano
2 oxo beef cubes (it was the 80s)
1/5-1 tsp of chilli powder
A can of plum tomatoes
A drained can of kidney beans
Salt and pepper.

Method

Heat the oil to medium, add the onions, fry for 4-5 mins until softened. Add garlic and cumin, fry for another minute or two. Add the mince, break down and cook until well browned and separate. Add the oregano, tomatoes, chilli powder, kidney beans and oxos ( other stock cubes are available). Also add about half a can worth of extra water. Bring to a hard simmer and turn the hob temperature to low. Cook for 45-60 minutes, stirring occasionally until meat is well braised. Adjust seasoning and serve with your favourite sides.

That's very much like my current chilli recipe! No shame in that. Oxo cubes rock!

 

[Hollaaa]

Jack's story has changed so much over the years with her lies, exaggerations, omissions that she has a real struggle with the truth. Tattle is her reference library. She can't ignore us; we are her link to reality.

I reckon she could easily get 244 pages from the wiki for her memoir, supplemented with her *checks notes* wildest dreams.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Jack's story has changed so much over the years with her lies, exaggerations, omissions that she has a real struggle with the truth. Tattle is her reference library. She can't ignore us; we are her link to reality.

I love your username.
Jack will do a performance Sunday dinner today to show us she does spend time with family.

 

[Menopausal Stormtrooper]

OK. I've had a flick through Veganish.
She gives SB's dad's name and pretty much 🔺️ where or at least who he works for.

I've not got Veganish, so I was really interested to read these bits, thanks for uploading them, @ChocolateMuffin . Absolutely pmsl at the idea of 'reverse engineering' a steak bake by .....cutting them in half to see what's in them.

 

[FrumpyCat]

It was Tin Can Cook and I have never so much as parted the pages.

I am a terrible cook and ( possibly connected) have a strange unwillingness to follow recipes correctly. I have a Nigella Christmas book to look at the photos aspirationally and a filthy copy of the BeRo Book is the only cookery book I actually use.

My 20 pence charity shop copy was also unread. I think there is a pattern here.

But it is well worth cracking it open to find hoop surprise, a recipe for fruit juice (tip a can for fruit in to a blender and blend), and a recipe for baked beans that starts off with rinsing the beans.

And my current favourite - a lentil mushroom and beer pie. A recipe Jack previously published under a slightly different name, but not using tins. Ingredients changed to tins, but too bone idle to change the cooking method. Hence, bizarre instructions to cook tinned lentils for half an hour until they are soft.

 

[MooBelle]

View attachment 1585610

Um, Molly has told everyone her name. It's in her bio you twit.
Why would the police be 'on it'? What for? All she's done is type out your own tweets side by side.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Is this going to be her next deflection technique?

Jack can’t be a dancer because she’s too tattooed and non-binary or something.

We were never treated to a video of Ballet Jack, but I always assumed her dancing was something like this.

 

[Beansbeans]

View attachment 1586843
I was just grunking as i made my young son his breakfast and turned to see he was loading his toy excavator with water then tipping it over the Cheerios.
well done I said, you’ve made soggy hoops.

and then realised … this is almost exactly like a Jack recipe!

now he’s invented Mumajack’s breakfast bowls

View attachment 1586851

Totally off topic, but what's the cut off age for it to be ok to make your breakfast with an excavator? Because I am feeling seriously sad that this never occurred to me before.