Jack Monroe #397 Note to self pick up more Lil’ smokies when in Tblisi

[quietbatperson]

I’ve just found the singing.

So many questions.

The American accent? Why is the video in black and white? Are they reading the lyrics as they go? Who asked them to do this? Why would you oblige?

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

Yes I just located it! Made me smile, that on page 2 of results for "Jack Monroe sultanas sardines" was my Tattle post a while ago, talking about her sultana and liver casserole

Just how. Just what? Just what the duck is going on here? Why? Why for Gods sake? Why? What is that?

 

[Elthi86]

Definitely not slop, this one. Quite the opposite, in fact.

 

[jenny2603]

Not what you’re describing, but was pretty solid, I seem to remember some sort of horrific sweaty loaf thing around Sloppy Savers time that looked at once moist and dry as duck and that would break every bone in your foot if it fell off the table and landed on you.

Beyond that I have blocked out, because of the horror. And I remember her slow-mo slop slopping cold stewed steak into a pan of hideousness, so I know it must be bad. What was that loaf thing, fellow ninnies?

There's a whole section of sweaty loaf things on her website, at least that's where a Google search for Jack Monroe's sweaty loaf thing took me.

Private Site

There's also a section called snacks and treats which contains the pumble- no ones idea of a treat or a snack. The thing is a trained killer.

All sections are topped with a picture of Jack wearing the obscene leer of an accomplished serial killer so brace before clicking the link.

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

View attachment 1585252

Definitely not slop, this one. Quite the opposite, in fact.

How do you make a cake that dense? Substitute PVA glue for eggs?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

For over half a million followers, she doesn't have much engagement

Oh #BeKind now, tender one. You know she’s not very good at engagements.

They LEFT.

 

[girl1980]

What is that? Is it the boiled soap?

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

Oh #BeKind now, tender one. You know she’s not very good at engagements.

They LEFT.
[/QU

There's a whole section of sweaty loaf things on her website, at least that's where a Google search for Jack Monroe's sweaty loaf thing took me.

Private Site

There's also a section called snacks and treats which contains the pumble- no ones idea of a treat or a snack. The thing is a trained killer.

All sections are topped with a picture of Jack wearing the obscene leer of an accomplished serial killer so brace before clicking the link.

Am actually pissed off because that soda bread looks good and I cant make soda bread and it never looks like that.

Stale bread crusts and fennel though. https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2018/02/13/bread-bean-fennel-stew-17p/ Thats what hte poors should eat. Give them fennel for their stale bread crusts and tell them to be grateful.

 

[jenny2603]

Am actually pissed off because that soda bread looks good and I cant make soda bread and it never looks like that.

Stale bread crusts and fennel though. https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2018/02/13/bread-bean-fennel-stew-17p/ Thats what hte poors should eat. Give them fennel for their stale bread crusts and tell them to be grateful.

We always enjoy a cookalong here, you could try Jacks soda bread and report back to us.

What is that? Is it the boiled soap?
View attachment 1585259

I think it's a tinned pear. I'm not sure how it managed to sink to the bottom in that dense matter but it did.

 

[Clovis]

What is that? Is it the boiled soap?
View attachment 1585259

It looks like a hot glue stick.

What is this supposed to be anyway, a meat loaf?

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

View attachment 1585252

Definitely not slop, this one. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Ha isn’t that a pineapple cube at the bottom ?

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

We always enjoy a cookalong here, you could try Jacks soda bread and report back to us.



I think it's a tinned pear. I'm not sure how it managed to sink to the bottom in that dense matter but it did.

Like Daily Kitchen LIve? You can be Matt and I'll be Jack....now why are we here again?

 

[FrumpyCat]

Sardines and sultanas? NO.
Jesus tittyfucking Christ, Jack.

to be fair to Jack, she isn't the first person to combine sardines, pasta and sultanas I've found a recipe from 2011 that comes from a book called Maggie's table. Although it does look somewhat ~nicer~.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Thanks to the ninnies who posted the pics upthread!

Found it! Pear, chocolate and oil loaf cake on not-Lorraine. the Sloppy Savers follow along started a couple of pages before, but this was the first screenshot for us ninnies who couldn’t watch along- lol it’s worth keeping going through the posts for a little bit after this one too

Jack Monroe #295 Yeah I already read that. Didn't inspire much hope in me.

That was done in the middle but raw around the edges. How is that even possible? That’s quite a bleeping skill isn’t it

tattle.life

PS Lorraine never did put this on their website, did they? Makes you think…

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Not what you’re describing, but was pretty solid, I seem to remember some sort of horrific sweaty loaf thing around Sloppy Savers time that looked at once moist and dry as duck and that would break every bone in your foot if it fell off the table and landed on you.

Beyond that I have blocked out, because of the horror. And I remember her slow-mo slop slopping cold stewed steak into a pan of hideousness, so I know it must be bad.

What was that loaf thing, fellow ninnies? ETA it was the meat looking thing that wasn’t meat and had bits of something in it

Jack is the only person I've come across whose cakes look like corned beef.

 

[FrankReagan]

I'm curious about 2nd September. Was Jack particularly fractious that day? I mean she normally is so I guess my question is- was she her usual self that day?

It was the day after nana-curtains-jumpsuit day with the hall of mirrors facetune. On the 2nd she piled on the schoolteacher who tweeted about her pupils, thereby spreading the safeguarding issue wider. It was a busy day working tweeting, there are still at least 50 tweets up.

Jack was also defending her planned day trip to Dublin, also telling someone LIBEL and announced she’d had an asymmetric undercut. She also said that the Special Sleb Po Po ‘turned up unsolicited’ to crappy/Lovely bungalow and reiterated that she’d changed the way inflation was measured.


TL/DR: ‘‘Twas a normal day, Jack was her usual self

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Yes I just located it! Made me smile, that on page 2 of results for "Jack Monroe sultanas sardines" was my Tattle post a while ago, talking about her sultana and liver casserole

Was that the dish she made for guests at Christmas? I had norovirus at Christmas a couple of years ago, I suspect that was preferable.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Can someone show this to Gordon Ramsay and film his reaction.

I might sacrifice a saucepan later and see what happens if you 'boil rapidly' rinsed beans for 10 mins, then reduce to a gentle simmer until the beans have softened

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

View attachment 1585252

Definitely not slop, this one. Quite the opposite, in fact.

LJC what is that? It looks like it’s been made from plasticine and the old bit of soggy onion you fish out of the kitchen sink drainer.

 

[binkbonk]

View attachment 1585252

Definitely not slop, this one. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I wasn't prepared to see this again Her food needs a content warning