Jack Monroe #395 That’s not my fanny
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THE SINGING
Guys wtaf we’ve got singing Jack? I’ve captured a recording of it just in case it’s deleted but surely this is some sort of not great head space (not sure what the right word is for that sorry)
Mother of God!!! Her inflated ego knows no bounds!!!!
I can't listen to it. The caption and thumbnail are enough.
Working so hard for the poors
It sounds like she is holding her nose the entire time
OH MY bleeping GOD
Finally caught up after falling waaay behind at the start of August (bad timing to be busy in real life).
A few quick things that caught my attention -
1) There is no evidence whatsoever that the dog lives with SB's dad. I've talked about this before. Some Tattlers keep insisting the dog only appears when SB does. This is objectively false. Conversely, there is plenty of evidence to support the fact that the dog is Jack's, from the photo of a very young puppy on public transport to the stupid name to Spaniel Friend's numerous tweets making it crystal clear that Jack owns the dog. Has Jack spent far more time away from home than a responsible pet owner would? Yes, but Jack has long been established as an irresponsible pet owner. This ongoing conspiracy theory is just wishful thinking. What's more, when people say "ah don't worry, it's not her dog" they are providing an excuse for Jack's irresponsibility and terrible pet ownership.
2) There is no evidence that Jack's father is giving her a home, that Jack will be renting from her father, or that Jack has bought her own home to move into. We do know that Jack's father did not provide her with a home when she was going through the Poverty, when she abruptly moved back to Southend after being dumped by Allegra, when bailiffs broke into her house, when she had to move in a hurry due to a stalker, or when she started spending 94% of her salary on rent after Louisa LEFT. We also know that Jack is stupid, impulsive, and prone to spending huge amounts of time performatively doing things that are entirely useless. Planning a kitchen based on floorplans of random 1-bedroom apartments she's found online fits that perfectly. Until she actually moves, we have no concrete information.
Don't want to thread-police, but...baseless conspiracy theories are easy to ignore, but not when they're being repeated as gospel 10000000 times. Plus, there are some real journalists (not disgruntled ex-Tattlers) taking an interest in things now, so facts matter more than ever. 🔺️Signed, a survivor of "Jack is being evicted in February 2021", "Harold doesn't exist", "Jack only went to a foodbank once", "Jack's landlady is actually Big Dave or another family member" etc etc.
3) People tying themselves in knots looking for "a grain of truth" or "tricksy wording" etc etc. Don't bother - Jack has no issue openly, directly lying, usually telling more lies when called on it. See: Georgia Church Suppers; "I've only ever had one cat"; "I'm sober" throughout 2020; gin; coriander; "I'm not exactly using my degree" etc etc. I can point to direct, provable lies as far back as 2012, including in her magnum opus Hunger Hurts. One of the things that makes Jack so fascinating is that much of her nonsense has no grain of truth at all, she just makes tit up constantly. She claimed to be intersex on Mumsnet FFS!
When we talk about tricksy wording, we are also providing excuses for some of her more outrageous lies. A good example is this: every time Jack's sex work claim rear its ugly head, someone will pop up to say, "tricksy Jack! She probably had a sugar daddy/worked on a sex line etc." No. Jack claimed DIRECTLY that she was a prostitute in the year 2013. This is clearly a complete and utter falsehood - she got a full-time job as a reporter on the Southend Echo in February '13, then signed her first book deal (worth 25.000£) a couple of months later. No tricksy wording, no grain of truth, just a barefaced lie.
4) If @Marmalade Atkins says something, believe her. She has the receipts.
Now off to fall behind again as I'm BUSY next week.
PS thank you very Marmalade much Marmalade for cheering me on. Grunking gets easier when you ignore every post that's just screenshots of random people on Twitter saying "I do/don't like Jack Monroe".
WHY IS SHE SHARING THIS ON HER "PROFESSIONAL" TWITTER?!
She’s been busy networking for a fiancé/mortgage to solve her own poverty how dare u overlook this relentless 23 hour working day????Working so hard for the poors
How tf do I upload this screen recording to tattle
Mother bleeping hell
is that for us? Which one of you ninnies requested she sing. I’ve just pulled my cochlea out with a corkscrew
is that for us? Which one of you ninnies requested she sing. I’ve just pulled my cochlea out with a corkscrew
I’m going to have to have a lie down, it’s all too much for me.
I can't guys. I actually can't. I'm not strong enough. Go on without me. Send helpos
He's best off with Vicky B. She's 2.3 inches taller and has a better singing voice.
EDIT: OH JESUS duck HELP NO I'VE JUST SEEN THE UPDATE.
Arrrg argh it’s like when Ted Bovis sang on daytime telly.
Lads, when I tell you I LEGGED it onto this thread as soon as I saw that. What in the Shane MacGowan is going on with her 'singing' 'voice'?
I’m on my break at home right now and scared the absolute tit out of my dog gasping and cackling at that video. Now I don’t want to go back to work. Thank you Jack for making my Friday a bit more hilarious 
Sorry, but just to be clear. She actually thinks she can sing, right? It's not a joke?
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