Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[Beansbeans]

Very sorry, and I don't mean to offend anyone - if it is who I think it is, I cannot stand her. She apparently knows everything about everything, she wants to teach everybody how to cook frugally (she would probably do a better job than JM provided you want to live on pizza, burgers and stir fries), doesn't miss a chance to tell the world how Aussies are the best at everything always, etc etc. Don't doubt that she has a difficult life because of health and money, but she strikes me as another first class (with honours!) narcissist. Gets occasionally pulled on some of her outlandish claims, but has no FM - so far.

Yes, I just had quick glance through and alarm bells are ringing. The herbs and spices thing seems like a fairly virtue signalling thing to do as well.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

One who also describes themselves as

Spoiler: “cute as a tiny shiny button”?

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I forgot how hilarious the facetuning was in this. It got eclipsed (justifiably!) by @Marmalade Atkins favourite Easter jumper pic, but this one is proper eeee up little cockney Dickensian/smol Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins urchin

Tiny grimy button, more like!

 

[ScamSandwich]

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Why do ppl think she’s one of Fagan’s urchins when she writes like this?

Hilarious times to be had at the shitty bungalow. And then everyone clapped.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Maybe she's applying for a visitor visa? You can't use the ESTA service if you have a criminal record.

This was my first thought - or she overstayed on a previous visit.

 

[SpudYouHate]

Exactly this! Also, if it *is* laryngitis, she won't get her voice back for a week at least, likely two.

If it IS laryngitis she's gonna have to miss the talks, innit? If it's just a 'bit of a croaky throat' (as I suspect) then her voice may not even be as annoying as it usually is.

 

[veronica71]

I don’t think that book will ever see light of day

Do we think the new flagship political show is the new Laura K one??

 

[Shimmering]

The groups can be a bit much sometimes but they’ve been invaluable for lost property, reminding each other of dates or homework or things you need to bring in/wear.. such a snobby mare

Exactly. She obviously thinks engaging with any of that stuff is beneath her

 

[GrannyOgg]

Spoiler: Jack versus Lee Anderson, Martin Daubney, Lawrence Fox and a bloke called Pat

Let us defer to the Observer for a brief explanation of how Jack versus Lee Anderson, Martin Daubney, Laurence Fox and a bloke called Pat
…The row began after deputy leader of the Reclaim Party, Martin Daubney, posted a clip of an interview he had conducted with Anderson.
At the start of the clip, Daubney refers to Monroe as the “self-appointed representative of the impoverished”, adding she has “sold loads of books. Done quite well out of it. No doubt, probably earns more than the prime minister”. Anderson responds by stating: “She’s taking money off some of the most vulnerable people in society and making an absolute fortune on [sic] the back of people.”…
( Observer 15 May 2022)
Jack immediately leapt into action. At 5.25 on the 13th May she retweeted the offending video, tagging the lawyer who represented her when she successfully sued Katie Hopkins.
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Interestingly, as I write this, the vile video with its career wrecking accusations is still on our heroines timeline, softly, gently ticking up views. All part of her cunning legal strategy I am sure.
At 18.02 Jack tweeted this. It was obvious she meant business.
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Jack continued to tag her lawyer throughout the evening of the 13th, keeping him up to date with the fast moving situation
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Not perhaps quite as often as she counted the number of views of the video
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And she did make time to let us know this interesting fact
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At 7.31 however our heroine seemed to become unsure whether her lawyer had the capacity to accommodate her and, possibly sensitive to the accusations laid against her, she added an important rider to her tweet. She would donate the cash if it wasn’t needed and anyone who couldn’t afford it was to donate. A huge relief to me in particular, mid month is always a difficult time.
View attachment 1569462Unfortunately, no doubt caught up in heat of the moment and keen to help the peoples poverty Princess, not everyone listened
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We will take up the story later that night when Jack returned to our screens.

Here’s part one so they are fairly close together

 

[HotesTilaire]

FoI request to the NHS to enquire how much was paid for this?

They won’t reveal info if it’s identifiable for a person as that would break data protection.
For example - you could ask how much X trust spent on guest speakers for a year and they may tell you. You could ask how much they spent on Jack- they can refuse.

 

[SpudYouHate]

Not Billy (we hope!)

Correct, but since when has jack let her supposed morals prevent her spending habit

A dog that has chewed through two hoover wires in such a short space of time is a dog who is not being looked after - I'm hoping this is Jack bullshitting because the alternative is a lonely and bored golden doodle left unsupervised for too long too often, and Content could eat something harmful or end up electrocuted.

Oh and nice, of course she has SB hoovering while he's round. How filthy would a room have to be before a 12 year old boy decides to switch on the hoover unprompted and start tidying up. Remember when she said he was mowing the lawn for fun as well? And that video where she's heard sitting on her arse telling SB to pick something up that's right next to her? I'm surprised she hasn't got him writing her recipe books for her yet, or handling the patreon postcards.

Maybe he could do a better job tbh. Ugh, she really is just the worst hope the prunes make her suffer tbh

How long before he's a child carer for her? I'm surprised he's not already, tbh.

 

[TheCat'sMother]

Read the first article, which I remember reading at the time and finding it really irresponsible to have someone one week off alcohol talking in this way. The paper should never have published this.

Anyway, on reading again, i have to say I disbelieve this part: “My friends waited for me in a car outside to take me back to the party.”

I don’t believe for a minute Jack is that person.

I think she pretends to be an alcoholic because she was binge drinking. Much like a lot of the other illnesses masquerading as personalities, I think she truly struggles to fit in anywhere and sees her addiction, her tattoos, her multiple conditions, invisible illnesses, underdog attitude, perpetual victim, trans, lesbian and all other labels she’s appropriated, as replacements for a personality. She’s looking for a group to be part of and butterflies round multiple.

Also: where are @MancBee and @Geetbo ??

I could not agree more. Well said

 

[Bugger13]

this selfish dogshit

Perfecto

 

[girl1980]

Did we see that the recipe for her foul concoction is on her to do list?
Yay.

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That's not a recipe pal. That's a noxious potion.

 

[SpudYouHate]

Anyone up for listening?

Health and Wellbeing Week 12th - 16th September 2022

Provide Health and Wellbeing Week

www.eventbrite.co.uk

Please don't let me suffer alone!!

 

[jenny2603]

I think she’d pivot to being a Kirsty Alsopp ‘village green make do and mend bootstrap home crafts and Tory lifestyle guru’ faster than you could say “Aga in the kitchen and Laura Ashley Homemade Bunting”.

She'd have to pepper it with mental anecdotes about folk looking down on her, like a dinner party that ends in disaster because some toff finds out she didn't go university and starts being really horrible to her.

 

[GoLando]

She's still pretty snippy

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“Poor unfortunate souls”

 

[Beansbeans]

Does Jack get invited twice to any book festivals. I was wondering as my local one has several semi regulars, but Jack only once and now I feel they have gone in an anti-Jack direction.
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I can see the people of Ilkley totally buying the faux poverty sob story ... Then buying the book of recipes flicking through in horror and consigning it to the furthest book shelf in the furthest attic...

 

[PeepholePringle]

Wait, there was cinnamon coca-cola? Huge, if true.

There was! Coca-Cola has cinnamon in anyway, this was just amped up a few notches. It was bloody nice too.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Black is capitalised to signify political blackness. Only white supremacists capitalise white.

thank you. It's something I'd wondered about but was afraid to ask.

 

[Mrsoverall]

Spoiler: Very very bad AI

This is what you get if you type in 'Jack Monroe is a liar and a cunt'. I think the AI is trying to show us her real face post booze, cigs and and pre facetune and botox.

Clearly a Celery town pic
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Male aesthetic era
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Tory MP business Jack
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Kumquat era
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Also because I'm very angry at how Jack has treated previous pets, particularly guinea pigs and rabbits, here is what 'Jack Monroe being eaten by guinea pigs and rabbits' looks like. These bunny piggy hybrids look well 'ard and clearly take no shit. They are pissed af that Jack tastes of slop.

* The above is not a death threat, just fantasy fiction, like what Jack writes.
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Monty Python's killer rabbit ain't got nothin on these guys.
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OT, @GrannyOgg , you have done wonderful work. Seeing all those tweets arranged chronologically really exposes Jack's grift, blatant begging and her policing of Twitter. This situation is in need of more scrutiny from squigs and officials alike.

Jack and Eddie Izzard - separated at birth