Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[FrankReagan]

I love facts is actually a direct quote from the tricksy pixie

I AM SHOOKETH

 

[Bugger13]

WHERE is the investigative journalism?

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Have a guess where Jack‘s planning a date with Burger La Bill.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Is she planning on a big move to the US?
Is that where she will find her forever home and some burly stud to take her for a wife?!

Good luck on your endeavor pet.

Probably just needs one to visit to promote book tour and when last used an esta visa waiver did something that means can’t do online eg stayed more days in a year than allowed, overstayed, submitted slightly incorrect details, minor past convictions such as cannabis possession, failing to declare second nationality, problematic social media messages https://e-visa.co.uk/usa/news/esta-rejected/amp - usually they aren’t a blocker but insist you get a full visa via a visit to the embassy. The other reason could be a USA company or wing of the publishing company want to employ or pay her directly for a book tour visit and that requires a full visa not esta waiver.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Very congruent with Jack adoring The Queen's brio but wanting to throw pies at King Charles, what a c

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

It doesn't seem to fit with any of the other events that week? What on earth has listening to Jack drone through her origin story (again) got to do with health and wellbeing??

Maybe she’s going to talk about being a dry drunk?

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Oh yeah the base is right there, what a twot

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Recreating Leggy's kettle sitch.

Did Leggy have a toaster?

Makes you think

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Cruel… as she clearly isn’t in SB’s class WhatsApp group…

 

[HotesTilaire]

Haven’t grunked yet so sorry if already spotted, but could she be softly, gently trolling us?
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Yeah she does this, means she’s grunked what I said about rechargeable stick Hoover’s. Did she buy it in wilko?

 

[Owlish]

Why you womp?
Prunes to chomp.

What is womp, though? I'm not familiar with that word. In the Harry Potter books there was a whomping willow which was a violent kind of tree. Perhaps Jack has been attacked by a big sentient plant? It sounds farfetched, but remember that Pumbles have lived in her house, so it wouldn't be the first supernatural being to emerge from the bungalow. Or maybe womp is a type of SOS message. ''Womp twice if you need help.'' Her vocabulary is full of mysteries.

I’m posting from the past, but your beautiful poem inspired me.

What’s for lunch?
Pie to munch

 

[Mallerenga]

ETA imagine that with Pulp Common People playing in the background- because it LITERALLY was

I was just going to comment that the music choice is

ETA - Snap @RinsingHoops!

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

You don’t need to capitalise “White”, Jack, you fucking dolt. Black is capitalised to signify political blackness. Only white supremacists capitalise white.

Someone, please, cancel this woman for only ever mentioning her poor brother at strategic moments to position herself as “one of the good ones” who “has Black friends”.

I genuinely didn’t know that and may or may not have capitalised on various occasions.

 

[Ablemabel]

When I had Laryngitis I didn't have a sore throat at all. I just had no voice at all. Not even a croak. It was annoying, sure, but far less so that tonsilitis that hurts like sh*t.


She's SUCH a goddamned a-hole. WHY does anyone like her at all? She's just relentlessly horrible to everyone.

Same. I had laryngitis repeatedly in my twenties. For me it was painless. I just had a voice that was non existent or came and went in cracks. Tonsilitis is bloody evil.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

Just in case no-one has asked the question yet...back to the Ursula thing...

Isn't Jack a poor, unfortunate soul? Sick again! What are the chances.

 

[House of Carbonara]

How do you go from ‘confirmed’ laryngitis at 11:36 to ‘looking promising’ - to do at least 4 talks next week - at 18:26?

Are congealed day-old pies a miracle cure? Praise the sweet LJC!

So she had a bit of a sore throat then. Liar.

 

[Bwidge]

The double space between full time and labourer makes me think she wrote his actual job in there and then took it out and replaced it with labourer.

What? Full time figment of my imagination?

 

[SamFoxStuckinaCloak]

TBF I don’t think it needs to be militantly observed amongst laymen but it’s a journalistic style and Jack - who is always bragging about having a platform the size of Glasto or some shit - should know this. Especially if she has done all the reading she claimed when she said she was going to platform Black writers.

Misread this as “a platform the size of the gestapo.”

 

[BananaSmith]

Sorry I am 8 pages behind but why is she serving raw pastry pies?

 

[mchops]

Well this is stuck in my head now, cheers pals

 

[FrankReagan]

Why Jack cheer?
Night pie here.

Why she sigh?
Can't fry
bed pie.

Why so snippy?
Bald the housemate
fled to chippy.



Why Jack tweet on toilet?
Prunes in pie, and nearly soiled it.

(Sorry)

If I could sew and had any artistic skills I’d embroider that onto a cushion. Now fuck off x

 

[Belgian Bun]

Oh yeah the base is right there, what a twot

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why is she sitting like a fucking pixie?