A scene:
Husband: darling, could you come downstairs a minute I want to ask you something
Wife: I’m busy trying to get the kids to stop biting each other, can you either come and give me a hand or wait til a more convenient time?
H: we’ll actually the kids is what I wanted to ask you about. Babysitting in particular.
W: has your mum finally agreed to babysit? We haven’t had a child free night in months. I’ll shave my legs and put a nice dress on.
H: well no, not quite. You’re getting ahead of yourself there, my mother still thinks the children are feral.
W: oh
![Pleading face :pleading_face: 🥺](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f97a.png)
so who’s babysitting then?
H: would you let Jack Monroe babysit?
W: who’s he?
H: SHE/THEY.
W: well who’s she/they?
H: she’s a poverty campaigner, she’s always on the news and she causes absolute scenes on Twitter, giving it to the Tories right between the eyes. In fact we’ve been supporting her for years
W: is that who you’re paying £44 a month plus VAT to? Actually, come to think of it, we were supposed to be able to paper the walls with all the stuff she was sending us, where is it? And what happened to that lawsuit you sent her money for??
H: yes that’s who I mean. Would you let her babysit? I would.
W: has she offered? Will she have to stay the night?
H:
duck sake Janice can you just answer the question?
(Kids screaming in the background)
W: well it seems reasonable I suppose. It’s payback for the high hundreds of pounds she’s had from us this past year. Just ask her if we can have a Saturday night though, I’m always too tired on a Friday.
H: please stop. She isn’t actually coming Janice, I just want it put on record that we find her trustworthy enough that we’d both allow it, and yes I know she hasn’t responded to emails asking about our goods. And that’s right, we might have thrown her a couple of hundred for a lawsuit when the little scamp has a pro-Bono lawyer. The T-shirts we bought on the 3rd February
were good quality though, I give her that.
OK, I’ll let her know.