Jack Monroe #384 You're churning out rinsed hoops and boiled slop, not storming the Bastille

[jenny2603]

Question from the back. Please could someone explain, in relation to paetron rewards, what “discount codes” would be for?

There was a shop on her website so it would be for stuff from that (books etc). Of course the website is yet another thing she's taken money for but done nothing with. I doubt it made her a fortune but it could have been a source of honest, semi-passive income for her if she'd even done the minimum to keep up with it. But she didn't because she's Jack Monroe.

 

[Mallerenga]

Although having a broken oven in a rented property is surely the responsibility of the landlady? Make it make sense!

If I'm not mistaken (I may be), the cooker is Jack's, she bought that specific model and it was quite pricey.

ETA it was a Chefmaster I think.

 

[Pimpinella]

Reply to a teacher. Not posting the teacher's tweet.

View attachment 1548488

Is the teacher really another account of hers because from what I can see all can apply to her....

 

[metroglide]

Sorry for being a nob but would it not be £68,000.? A drop in the ocean

Yes it would - sorry for being hopeless at the maths/arithmetic!

 

[Helatruralhome]

I'd pay that for Coops book.
That's cats seen things and smelt things no cat should.
Bet he's on a 40 day rollie habit slagging her off to the neighbourhood animals.

#nameyes

 

[Elastoblast]

Went looking for a dildo in the pic of coops…. Found a ? Stuffed rabbit ?

Tacky overpriced table lamp previously by a Frau.

 

[veronica71]

Guys sorry for getting off topic

Spoiler: Jackmeela

but have you seen that Jameela Jamil is getting dragged on twitter for “misgendering” and then blaming her crime on the victim. Her twitter is hilarious right now and it’s FULL JACK VIBES

yes - I've not seen her tweets before but that showed up in my feed and oh my word she's is totally another Jack

 

[Moneypenny’sfreedom]

That jumpsuit material is reminiscent of curtains from 1955

 

[Edie Po]

It’s just ridiculous. According to her begging blog she was using solar lights in an effort to save money, the environment never got a mention.
Frankly I don’t care if she flies to the moon but the daft lies irritate me. If you can’t believe the small things people say how can you be expected to believe the big? She has zero credibility

With the picture she posted yesterday she more chance of trying to steal the moon..Gruetta

 

[WolfIrish]

View attachment 1547114
Jack needs to log off for a while so I can get some work done

I know this is basically pointless, but this got me completely. Really needed a laugh.
I’d much rather do this BTS, but thank you, kindly and gently.

 

[WoolyMammoth]

Grift Jack, Grift Jack,
Sending postcards from way back.
Oh dear, I think poor Postie’s
Gonna need a bigger sack.

Yeah!
View attachment 1547184

I keep getting a song I haven't heard for years in my head since all this grift gate stuff came up. Driftwood, by Travis. In an effort to make it go away, I googled the lyrics. But, my dear readers, if you amend driftwood to griftwood and read the lyrics....

...
Never with the flow
And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you turned to driftwood...

Just driftwood hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you bind you grind you
And you really didn?t think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line...

Literally every time I open these threads. This song appears between my ears. Can't shift it.

 

[Ablemabel]

I’m struggling to keep up but just wanted to put this out into the universe:

Celebrity Masterchef is currently showing on the beeb, I would LITERALLY PAY THEM to have Jack on the next series

Babe, same x

 

[GrannyOgg]

Sorry to sound like a total bore but this isn’t the case. Like with p much all subscription services if you cancel in month your access runs until the end of the month/your next billing period. Patreon used to deduct these cancellations in basically one hit in the early hours of the morning, for some reason they’ve now distributed it across 24 hours following the 7.40am big hit. We won’t see any additional losses after the early hours of tomorrow morning until the 1st of October, where a similar 24 hour period of losses will occur.

That makes sense. presumably Jack already knew about the losses. I wonder if they keep you updated via email of if you have to check on their website

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

View attachment 1546905
Where’s Head in a Jar Jack when you need her?

Spoiler: “Help! All my limbs fell off on the sh*tter!”

View attachment 1546922

ETA sweary spoiler. Click w care

It’s like the baddy from teenage ninja turtles!

 

[Nonah]

Found it. The perfect job for Jack.

 

[Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop]

We've stayed at the Bloc hotel in Gatwick airport. The bathrooms have these toilet/sink combos. Ok for a one night hotel stay, a bit of a novelty actually. But not practical for every day use.

Yes! And I could understand it for a cloakroom downstairs. However, not the main event. I'd flood the place never mind the kids

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Is that not a vienetta @kachoochoo? It’s kind of how I remember them but it’s a long time since I saw one in the wild. That photo is off Facebook if you image search for them.

 

[TillyMiffin]

Welcome to thread #384. What a week, eh? (Captain, it's only Thursday)

Congratulations to @auntylil, who nominated the winning thread title from a squig post. You win Jack's spare floral boiler suit. I'd give it a long boil wash before wearing if I were you.

Please keep title thread nominations past post #500 at least, include the words "thread title" in the message and no swearing in them.

RECAP. OH WELL. (WiP)

Jack shocked the whole canal into silence for a whole minute by posting a facetuned-to-hell picture of herself in a floral boiler suit. Said boiler suit is £55, from a high street shop, and she's casually mentioned she bought two of them because she ordered the wrong size the first time but couldn't be bothered to return it. As you do when you're on the bones of your arse.

She also claimed she would be flying to Dublin and back on the day for "work". The "work" is an alleged interview with an alleged Irish journalist who was probably expecting to chat to her via Zoom and now won't know what hit him, bless his soul.

She was also quite vicious to a social care worker squig who dared question the frugality of the trip to Dublin. She also picked up a fight with other squigs who suggested that flying to Ireland for a day was maybe not the most environmentally friendly option.

She's also lost over 40 patreons.

She keeps on talking about her downsizing as if it's Operation Overlord or something.

She's currently gathering inspiration to design her new kitchen. Her tenant-designed kitchen in her landlord-owned flat in Pixieland.

Please feel free to add anything I might have forgotten!

She said she was ‘done with all that’ when someone mentioned a future beau/beauess:

 

[Walkdengirl]

She could get the inexplicable eggs involved in that gig as well

Spoiler: It’s…a lot. Click with Care 😂

Make sure your sound is up before you hit play for full effect (it’s from The Guardian, so not a dodgy website, I promise!)

The wonderful rhik samadder and the egg master (btw, his book in which he talks a lot about his depression is really good)

 

[Edie Po]

She posted this in November - remember how much she hates gin? Anyway, she did make herself an advent calendar. And posted a selfie every.single.day in December of her wearing a different colour lipstick

View attachment 1547779

Even Miss Bonham Carter would be pissing at this abomination