Jack Monroe #383 Thrashing in a trap of their own making

[Orphan_Black]

Bing Bong, it's another day in the mad, bad world of Jack Monroe.

Congrats to @WaffleKent for nominating the winning thread title from a squig post. You win the rest of the pickled radishes! Zingy!

(Can we keep title noms past post 500 please, I'm going all Jon Bercow and asking for order, ORDER!)

RECAP;

Jack had her publisher's over for a chat. SB and Content joined them and she let her dog drink straight out of the glass.

Jack pickled radishes a year ago and fed them to her hostages guests.

Jack went quiet and came back in the morning with a pity party rant and hecking declutter.

She's taken SB's bedroom off him and is making him sleep in her bed whilst she sleeps on the sofa.

She has full custody of SB

Karl ain't backing down.

Jack is a twit.

What a wonderful day we seem to be in for.....

 

[Geetbo]

Jack also has a wonderfully supportive relationship with SB's Dad despite the fact he ALLEGEDLY allowed them both to live in a freezing flat containing no food or lightbulbs.

 

[WaffleKent]

Bing Bong, it's another day in the mad, bad world of Jack Monroe.

Congrats to @WaffleKent for nominating the winning thread title from a squig post. You win the rest of the pickled radishes! Zingy!

Thank you, I am dialling 111 into my phone in readiness.

 

[Upthisweek]

That'll be fun, rolling around for a few rampant hours 'on the sofa' with her new Burger Bill Beau.

 

[instacharlie]

Recap: Jack's usual bullshit excuses didn't work on her latest Twitter chaos. She's had to deploy 'sad anniversary' chaos excusios. No-one knows what the anniversary is, I don't think Jack does either yet. She'll make it up when she knows whether or not sad excuse is working.
Also, just in case anyone isn't aware......Jack is having to downsize to a one bedroom flat Unless she can find the next Mr/Mrs Jack in the next few months of course!

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I think sb's dad is a good egg and a stable part in his life. I have a family member who ex is a bit like her and made his life a living hell, but for the sake of their child he really keeps the peace in order too keep seeing his child and stopping her kicking off has his life is pretty amazing now he is away from her.

I dont think sbs dad is the villian at all but missy there, oh yes!

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

I suspect she made SBs dad's life hell when she was pregnant and after the birth. He must have felt bewildered.

 

[MistyWindows]

So, how much are you all getting paid by the ruling blue blooded lizard people to smear Jack?
I only get minimum wage and monthly vouchers for Nando’s but then again all I do is make smartarse comments.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

I suspect she made SBs dad's life hell when she was pregnant and after the birth. He must have felt bewildered.

I suspect she still makes his life hell.

 

[katy_beans]

I agree she would get tit for this (that poor almost-teenage boy) but how would anybody know if she didn’t tweet about it? It’s like she hasn’t considered that she can just NOT tweet about something!?

 

[fairylights2000]

In a three bedroom housealow why is she making him share her bed

 

[Mr Krabs]

Wasn’t the massive/garage type shed the size of a small flat already cleared out as a clutter clearing area? HOW MUCH tit DOES SHE HAVE?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Aka Patreon money has just dropped so I’m booking a holiday and need an excuse

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

In a three bedroom housealow why is she making him share her bed

I don't think she is. I think she's moving onto the sofa in another room to have a little Tiny Flat Cosplay.

 

[FantaLimon]

I don’t understand why you would practice living with one bedroom? Why sleep on the sofa now when there is a bed in SB’s room?!

I DON’T UNDERSTAND

 

[drivingdownthe101]

Why on earth would poor SB need to move rooms 6 months in advance, so that they can get used to having less space? What a drama. Get used to having less space when you’ve got less space! Honestly I’ve lived in 5 bed detached houses, tiny studio apartments and everything in between. I’ve never had to spend 6 months getting used to the next place before I move!
Incidentally, does the ‘heckling’ big declutter count as part of her 100 hours ‘work’? And why does the word ‘hecking’ make me feel like my eyes are bleeding?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Burning through her cash again.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I dont know if things have changed in recent years but a good few years back, someone, i know who had children with someone but where no longer together and they have been reported to SA. When he went to collect the child he was told that due to the fact they were not married and despite him having his name on the birth certificate, he no parental claim over the child. His ex had to sign a piece of paper allowing him to have a parental consent. I was shocked when i heard this.

Like i said times have changed but it makes you think.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

When you declutter, you do it room by room so you end up with more space not less.

I’ve never know anyone to make the simplest of tasks such a performative palaver.

 

[hooplifehero]

Wait a minute. She is making her 12 year old son sleep in her bed... the bed she had a 6 hour sweaty romp in, a few days ago, which she told the whole internet about? I think that goes beyond awkward cringe into incredibly inappropriate behaviour.