Notice
Thread ordered by most liked posts - View normal thread.

Anglesx

Member
I think there is a science park/exploratory by there too (replacing the one at Temple Meads yonks ago)
Do you mean we the curious? (formally @bristol). There was a fire in the summer and it's currently closed for repair until January, but there's always so much to do. We do something different every week with our kids.
It's the last weekend the zoo is open in its current, historical location, she could come for the weekend and take him there on Saturday. There's Aerospace Bristol, so many museums and cinemas, climbing walls, bowling alleys etc and there are several cool exhibitions on right now like Wake the Tiger and the Van Gough interactive experience.


I've been trying to catch up for at least 15 threads now! I wanted to pop in when someone asked about what the tipping point for new people was. Hi, I'm a new person. And my tipping point was actually years ago, but I've been keeping my distance from the Jack topic on purpose because I am a twitterite.

I'm the same age as Jack and work in publishing, so I've been aware of her since the blog days. Like many a 20-something in publishing, I was a big blogger/Tumblr girl. I found Jack's blog while researching recipes for a cookbook I was working on for my company (we came for your niche 10 years ago Jack, we did a whole series on one pot, one pan, cheap eats!). I cottoned on that things weren't always entirely truthful, every blog post seemed to have contradictory statements, and as someone who did actually grow up in poverty, I was pretty offended by her cosplay. Everything she described was a laughable parody of what middle-class people thought poor people looked like, so for quite a long time I was convinced she was a Tory stooge. Look guys, you can survive on £10 a week you ungrateful, greedy, lazy scroungers! So I've kept tabs and popped off on Twitter from time to time.

I'm part of a cookery writers group (unfortunately not the famous whatsapp group, one for just us poor folk who actually do invent and test recipes or edit books for the famouses). Sometime at the start of the year, we all collectively agreed we'd had enough- sometime around Patreon/VBI/some decry that she's the only person cooking in the whole wide world, that we decided to email the Daily Mail and suggest they investigate.

Yes, sorry for it being the Daily Mail, but we decided they were our best bet since the other media outlets seem to revere her as some sort of working class diety, and also the Mail published quite extensive criticism of her after the Cameron tweets. We put together a little memorandum, a bit like the AwfullyMolly one, with screenshots and bullet points of her most egregious grifts and suggested they take a closer look. Nothing ever came of it. So when the AwfullyMolly thing came out there was some spiderman style finger pointing, but it wasn't any of us. But we think we know who it is because there are other groups like ours! it was only after this kicked off that I decided I couldn't take Twitter nonsense any more and came here. It's a much nicer place to be that the twitter hellscape, thanks for lots of laughs fraus!
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Wow
Reactions: 230

VeniVidiVicki

VIP Member
Karl is still on her case incidentally

1B5EC183-D84E-42EC-AAC9-EBBAE73E8AC5.jpeg


Also this is such a brilliant reply from another squig to her illuminati tweet this morning

F135B951-4006-4430-9F8E-3F5ECEC86698.jpeg
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 159
Shaking like a shitting chihuahua fraus, apols for how long it is. But welcome to an essay on this Patreon data ✨

As shared before, Jack has opened the month of September 2022 with 773 subscribers, assuming £3.50 per sub and platform fees of 12% this gives her £2.4k in the bank today. Ch4 news reported on shoe & sock poverty being a thing for children in the UK, but thankfully Jack's able to jet off to Dublin for a lunch date so take THAT capitalist tory pigs!

Because of recent events we've had an influx of new fraus join the canal so in the spirit of making things accessible and interesting for all, have written something longer form. It's behind a cut and sub-titled for ease of skippability. Apologies for any errors, I typed the vast majority of this at ~11pm last night.

I've written in the detail about this but there may be more losses to come, it looks like Patreon are handling month end differently now - will keep you guys updated.

Methodology

We have a script that captures Jack's Patreon follower count every 10 minutes and saves a timestamp & that subscriber count to a database that lives on my server. 🏡 This project started Feb 2021, but since then Graphtreon (link: https://graphtreon.com/creator/jackmonroe) has come on the scene, and gives us data to daily grain. I was relieved when comparing our vs their data that it reconciles so this approach works which is gr8 news/a personal relief.

The next stage is just to export this dataset to Excel and do some basic manipulation. So everything underneath 'Subscriber Movements' (header in pink) is known fact and verifiable to an independent source (Graphtreon). Unfortunately Jack hides her Patreon revenue figure so everything underneath 'Patreon Payday' is an estimate of how much she could hypothetically earn with such a subscriber base, using a number of reasoned assumptions. Details of which are below:

Patreon Payday aka Mithering about FA

Firstly for clarification - "est rev @ £3.50ps" means the estimated revenue when we assume that 100% of subscribers are paying £3.50, we then deduct the worst case scenario of 12% platform fees* to give these net revenue figures. This doesn’t consider taxes, but we have yet to see evidence that Jack herself considers taxes so this doesn’t keep me up at night.

There is absolutely no way for us to get more detail on the type of subscribers joining or who have been with Jack since she started her Patreon in April 2017, so there will always be a degree of uncertainty re: monthly takings. In detail:
  • We don't truly know the % of platform fees Jack is paying.
  • There is no way of capturing the split in her subscriber base between annual vs monthly subscriptions, so some months she may take home significantly more but this should net off across a 12 month period.
  • On the above - annuals are actually discounted at 15% so we run the risk of over reporting revenue across a 12 month period.
  • Jack repeatedly and publicly claims that over half her subscribers are only paying £1 despite a) this being a significantly harder checkout journey with ~30 clicks versus ~5** b) this being advised against by Patreon themselves due to their fee structure.
  • There is the option for custom subscriptions, and these default at £5, which is 43% higher than her minimum of £3.50
So to conclude - these revenue figures really are an estimate with a bit of give/take to what they could be. But considering the only people we see speak publicly of subscribing (whether it's on her Patreon comments page or Twitter) are subscribing to the more expensive physical rewards yielding tiers (£7, £10, £24 - heaven forbid lol) that it's improbable to me that her average per subscriber figure is just £3.50.

*When this tracker first began in Feb-21 there was very little documentation on Platform fees available either in Patreon's documentation or online, I believe I took the highest rate found on a press release related to a round of investments/their valuation? Since then I believe documentation has been improved but we've stuck with the 12% fee for consistency. I'm not sure if this is something we should review, if anyone is super up on this please reply with the fee structure and I'll restate these net revenue figures. Sorry don't have time to dig into this myself.
** Whoever calculated this please share exact numbers and I can credit you in this write up, again sorry I didn't dig into this myself.


Results & how to interpret them

Firstly a disclaimer - I've changed the table slightly so you may notice losses have moved down a row. Detail on this in the writing below, but anyway:

68A70F23-1F1A-4AEC-A542-9EB0666D4AD3.png


Nonsensically we'll start with the 'Subscriber Movements' side, headed in pink

Using September 2022 as an example - she opened the month with 773 subscribers and was paid for such, with an estimated minimum revenue of £2.3k. We saw 38 subscribers leave (under losses) and 93 join (gains), this nets at +55 subscribers or +7.7% month on month (MoM%).

Revenue is calculated as: (opening subscriber count * estimated per subscriber revenue) * 0.88. So this is net of her assumed 12% platform fees, but obviously not the taxes.

My caveats/ravaging insecurities below:
a) Previously we'd see a -1 tell tell loss followed up by one large incident of lost subscribers. Weirdly this has changed, in July we saw 9 separate incidents of subscriber losses spanning 24 hours; August 4 incidents spanning 24 hours. Which suggests to me we can expect to see further losses for September, we just need to wait so these numbers may be restated.
b) Graphtreon maps this as a continuous line which defs eases the above issue as well as avoiding the need to assign proper fixed time periods to losses/gains? I hate that I re-stated that row but I think it makes more sense to say okay this is her payday month, she had X subs/received Y/because -P left and +Q joined. Previously we had leavers in the month they left's row, e.g: you left in August but this wasn't realised until September payday. Neither is right/wrong, but I prefer the new way as it's how we actually talk about it, e.g: she got paid at the start of September and lost 38 subs.

Playing around with per subscriber (ps) scenarios.

Conscious of our mithering, I'd like to highlight just how much of an understatement our estimated revenue is likely to be. The following table maps out what % of her subscriber base would need to be on each tier to create the average per subscriber scenarios we use in our 'Patreon Payday' section:

image.png


In writing:
  • The assumption of an average of £3.50 per subscriber is possible with 100% of subscribers opting into her lowest pre-fabricated, marketed on the landing page ATL (above the line, eg you don't need to scroll or click to expand on the page), tier.
  • An average of £5.00 ps is possible with a near 50/50 split in her subscriber base to the two lowest tiers.
  • The £10.00 ps is a reach just playing amongst the 4 lowest tiers (<=£12 pcm) but is still feasible with this combo weighted towards the £12.00 tier. Please notice the more expensive £24.00 & £44.00 pcm tiers have not at all been considered: we are by no means reaching with our estimates.
Next steps

Jack continues to discredit any attempts to estimate her monthly Patreon revenue, but yet to provide us with a meaningful average per subscriber revenue figure to work with, or better yet - clicking a button to show her earnings on Patreon, as recommended by the platform itself! Please empower your donors to make decisions that are right by them & their families as we face inflation of 18% and upwards.
 
  • Heart
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: 148

Semi_literate_bot

Active member
Still encouraging the pile on against the poor squig who questioned the environmental impact of flying when she didn't need to.

Nasty, vile cow.


Screenshot_20220901-162818_Twitter.jpg
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
  • Angry
  • Wow
Reactions: 143

Mr Krabs

VIP Member
Umm sweetie I think Jack knows more about Ireland than you. Her mum is from norn Ireland dontchaknowtopothemornintoya. In fact, her grandparents grew up on Dublin Street, Dublin, above a pub called Molly Malones. Times were tough in old norn Ireland back then. There was no big Asda and they were forced to boil Guinness to make Guinness. But they dreamed that some day their ancestors would be able to get on a big plane and fly to Southend and live in a bungalow. This journey back home to Dublin in norn Ireland will be very emotional for Jack. But I think it’s essential she explore this area of the UK and discover her ancestry by sitting in a trendy cafe and drinking €4 lattes.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 143

colouredlines

VIP Member
Still stuck way in the past, I know there have been many more chaoses since, but as far as I can see no one has shared the prison tamale origin story.

Screenshot_20220901-115641_Twitter.jpg


Amazing how being sent a free cookbook morphed into doing a lot of quiet work on the side with prisoners in just one year.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Angry
Reactions: 142

hooplifehero

Chatty Member
EXT QUAINT STREET, DUBLIN DAY


JACK dances down a cobbled alleyway, marvelling at the rustic pubs and traditional cafes [NB researcher please fill in details - we want something authentic but not too authentic]. Irish folk wave as she passes.

The members of B*Witched look up from a colourful market stall where they're haggling for scarves and bangles, and spot Jack's trendy denim ensemble.

B*WITCHED: Noice jacket!

JACK: Get a loife!!


JACK creeps up behind IRISH JOURNALIST, who is green-eyed, rugged and hunky in an outdoorsy sort of way, wearing a chunky jumper. She playfully taps him on the shoulder.

JOURNALIST: H-hello? Do I know ye?

JACK: Oi did say we should get lunch!

JOURNALIST: Jack?

JACK: Boo, oi guess!

JOURNALIST: B-but ye live in Southend.

JACK: Ah, what's an hour and fifteen pounds? Now, where's the crack going on, I need to 'fill me boots'!!

The JOURNALIST breaks into a broad smile, his emerald eyes twinkling. She takes his arm and they go in search of the coolest cafes. His life will never be the same again...
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 138

hooplifehero

Chatty Member
Aka Patreon money has just dropped so I’m booking a holiday and need an excuse

View attachment 1545146
This has such 'boo, I guess' vibes. It's what she wishes she'd said, in the sassy TV show of her life, where she's zany and scampering and has meet-cutes and hilarious accidents, all ending up with snuggly hugs and feels.

So she won't do unpaid media engagements but she will travel to Dublin for an interview at her own expense.

And she needs squigs to recommend cafes because unlike any normal person in Dublin she doesn't carry a phone with the internet, and doesn't have eyes to see the streets surrounding her.

Almost every WORD she writes irritates me now.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 127

BurgerLaBill

Chatty Member
Middle class as fuck. Everything is a 'project' or an 'adventure'. Where I'm from you'd get kicked in the foof for referring to a canine as a 'doggo'. Probably by my nan.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 126

Slop n slide

Well-known member
So after complaining that the BBC only pays £50 for an interview, she's now paying £15 to travel to a different country for an interview? There's no way it's £15 flat to get from her house in Southend, to an airport, to Dublin Airport, to Dublin City and all the way back again
And no way it takes an hour.

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack spend patreon
On Dublin day trip
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 123

Orphan_Black

VIP Member
Bing Bong, it's another day in the mad, bad world of Jack Monroe.

Congrats to @WaffleKent for nominating the winning thread title from a squig post. You win the rest of the pickled radishes! Zingy!

(Can we keep title noms past post 500 please, I'm going all Jon Bercow and asking for order, ORDER!)

RECAP;

Jack had her publisher's over for a chat. SB and Content joined them and she let her dog drink straight out of the glass.

Jack pickled radishes a year ago and fed them to her hostages guests.

Jack went quiet and came back in the morning with a pity party rant and hecking declutter.

She's taken SB's bedroom off him and is making him sleep in her bed whilst she sleeps on the sofa.

She has full custody of SB

Karl ain't backing down.

Jack is a twat.

What a wonderful day we seem to be in for.....
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Haha
Reactions: 123

Flumps

VIP Member
I love you all, you know, but I *really* stan @heretoreaditall2019 when she brings us the data. Especially your caveats. xx

That bedroom shizzle is creepy. Let that poor young man have his own space FFS. There's a spare bedroom, or destroy your OWN room and use it for storage. All this 'I'm doing this for my boy'. It's awful.

1. No you're not, if you were you would let him stay in his own space and trash yours, not pretend that your space is now his and then reclaim it the moment the door shuts behind him. Gaslighting a 12 year old. Jesus.

2. Shut up saying that where he can read it anyway. I actually think it's properly damaging for children to be told that their parents do everything for them and always put their kids' needs ahead of their own. *Actually* do it, by all means (though I question it a bit, there always needs to be balance in life) but what kind of pressure and obligation do you think it creates in a decent young person's head when you tell them that you're this parental martyr to their existence (and broadcast that to 500k people). It's fucking grim behaviour. Especially when you don't live it, you just talk it. I've seen and worked to undo the damage of behaviour like this and it makes me furious.

I don't post often any more because I'm busy and I think I am very boring, but I read along still, but I'm starting to feel like I can't take much more of JM. I'm not even getting started on anniversaries of horrible things, but like others have said, we all have them and they aren't fucking excuses for being an absolute horror to anyone.

Sweary flump today. Soz.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 121

Molly24

Active member
Umm sweetie I think Jack knows more about Ireland than you. Her mum is from norn Ireland dontchaknowtopothemornintoya. In fact, her grandparents grew up on Dublin Street, Dublin, above a pub called Molly Malones. Times were tough in old norn Ireland back then. There was no big Asda and they were forced to boil Guinness to make Guinness. But they dreamed that some day their ancestors would be able to get on a big plane and fly to Southend and live in a bungalow. This journey back home to Dublin in norn Ireland will be very emotional for Jack. But I think it’s essential she explore this area of the UK and discover her ancestry by sitting in a trendy cafe and drinking €4 lattes.
There's a statue of Jack's great-great-grandfather Potatoes O'Houlihan in Dublin Street, Dublin.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 121

drivingdownthe101

Active member
Why on earth would poor SB need to move rooms 6 months in advance, so that they can get used to having less space? What a drama. Get used to having less space when you’ve got less space! Honestly I’ve lived in 5 bed detached houses, tiny studio apartments and everything in between. I’ve never had to spend 6 months getting used to the next place before I move!
Incidentally, does the ‘heckling’ big declutter count as part of her 100 hours ‘work’? And why does the word ‘hecking’ make me feel like my eyes are bleeding?
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 117