Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

[Veronicaaa]

Remember when she said she was writing all her Venice recipe notes in Italian lol

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Before accusing others of having the wrong end of the stick, it's always a good idea to take a close look at which end you are grasping

As an expert in petty work emails I find it helps to triple check my facts before gently, softly, ramming something back up my annoying colleague's arse.

 

[MancBee]

Alas, it's a Radley.

Is it a Boo (I guess) Radley bag?


I'll get my coat.

 

[Terrible]

I sent a text once that said ‘no penis’. Luckily the recipient was a nice girl I dog sat for, and indeed, none of us did (or does) have a penis.

Anyway, god, the THE DRAMA! Someone please tell her she’s downsizing, not going into the Big House.

Why isn’t she fretting about finding a flat? :chinny reckon:

 

[jenny2603]

And yet only 2 months ago, SB “expressed v. strongly” that he wanted to stay, and she was going to make it work for him. The narrative keeps changing doesn’t it.
View attachment 1504977

Imagine, if you will, a friend arrives at your house in a hideous new frock. They are really excited about it, think they look great and ask for your opinion. You could be honest and say it's an eyesore or you could just fib as they seem happy enough and if a horrorfrock makes them feel great who are you to say anything. That's an understandable lie.

You're running late because you slept in and miss your bus. You get the next bus and sneakily phone your boss to say you're really sorry but the bus was really late and you're on your way. Again, that's an understandable lie.

What is the point of the utter nonsense she lies about? SB wants to stay so I'll make it work. SB wants to go so I'll make it work. Who cares? Move, don't move just stop making up lies about your kid because it's weird.

 

[Dogrose]

Why is getting rid of a BBQ decluttering? Don’t they just stay outside on the patio? She could probably take it with her. Also she’s so sly saying “my freezer” like she now doesn’t have one.
It’s neither a moral virtue nor a personality quirk to feel better when you’re not sitting like a dragon on your hoard of 6000 cashmere jumpers badly dyed black and tiny tiny spoons and sixty freezers and a bbq and some diamonds somewhere in the heap.

 

[skybluepat]

Fairly new to all this so please bear with me. I have some questions though….

Jacks latest slop recipe says you put cold water and spaghetti in a “large nonstick pan”, bring it to the boil and cook for 10 minutes.

You also cook it for another 1 minute after you’ve added all the other slop.

How can overall “fuel time” be 12 minutes?

Does this mean she can bring a large pan of cold water to the boil in 60 seconds?

Am I missing something here? Or is this just expert level chef stuff is mere mortals wouldn’t understand?

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I might have got in before a hasty delete

IANAL, but the way I read that is that the person will only be paying £24.74. Not the increase she's claiming.

Luff maffs, me.


EDIT: too slow. Shall wait for the bit of the letter where she proves she's not talking out of her arse because she's thick as mince.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Wouldn’t dream of a “downsize “ without child’s sign off. The absolute privilege of that statement.

Indeed Jack, indeed.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Still waiting, Jack. No rush x

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Give it a rest, Zoe Eccentricity. Also you still can't spell cannellini you utter, utter berk.

 

[Naboo The Enigma]

So she's got 6 months to move, and she's deffo moving into a 1 bed flat? I don't know Southend (I have been there a couple of times and actually love it - compared to Blackpool and Rhyl which are the working class holiday destinations of choice where I live) but I would be looking at the rental market and seeing what I could afford - there must be 2 beds that are affordable to her, even if they're outside her preferred area. I'm convinced she's got somewhere lined up that's either a) family adjacent or b) not strictly a 1 bed flat in the sense that her bungalow is not strictly a bungalow.

 

[Smeghead]

It could mean:
- your subconscious has put two and two together about Jack
- you’ve had a premonition: Tax evasion?Charity fraud?
Crimes to cooking?
- you recently watched the Stooshe music video in which Jack plays a bit part as a prisoner
- none of the above

 

[Dogrose]

Why is she getting rid of the egg chair, freezer and barbecue when she has no idea where she's moving? It may be a small flat but have a large garden. It might have a large kitchen or utility area with room for a freezer.

Not said this for a while, but make it make sense.

ETA @Dogrose there first.

Great minds! Doesn’t she realise how much she’s telling on herself that she’s apparently built her Smaug’s hoard from scratch in 10 years whilst being supposedly poverty stricken the entire time?

 

[Cookiecookie]

Six months to sort it out?! Have the council and/or environmental health condemned the shithole then?

It seems a lot. My mum definitely has issues regarding keeping stuff (why the fuck has she still got a calender from 1992?) and she's lived here coming up 32yrs. It still wouldn't take six months to sort the place.

It's definitely looking more and more like she's working towards a specific place. She's not house hunting. She's got somewhere lined up already. And, I would say, she's not renting it either.

 

[Hefflen]

Gosh, her sick mum in lockdown and it’s all about how it affects Jack’s childcare…


Sorry but that certainly appears to be the actions of a deeply selfish person.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Ooooh how about a house plate for the front of the house with “I rent” on?

 

[Orphan_Black]

I wonder what lucky Ukrainian will get the Viv (God rest her) frock?

They're getting all the tat she fucked up dying black.

Generous Jack.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Just a wee reminder that Jack's had 2 skips (that we know about) in her drive over the past couple of years. Which were presumably filled with her shite before being taken away. 2 skips worth of crap and she's still drowning in ~stuff~. Makes me sick tbh. It's just wanton consumerism followed by environmentally unhealthy 'purges'. Oh and I doubt she gave away her BBQ, egg chair and whatever else she said - they'll be in storage somewhere.