Jack Monroe #363 I regret to inform you Jack Monroe has done another tweet

[Belgian Bun]

I'm going to sing you a song now. Oh this is horrible. I've never done this before. Be kind. Oh god, I'm not sure I can do this. <Sticks finger in one ear like 1970s folk singer. Squeaks.> Oh I'll start again. Sorry. It's a really sad song. I might cry.


Ago, ago, so long ago, there was a non binary person named Jacksio,
and she loved several people, so long ago, and they all said Jacksi
will you marry me-o. And Jacksi she said, with a thick nasal sob
I'd marry you sir or madam, but I have to think of the povs!
Until all the poors have slop on in their bowls I cannot thee wed, my laddio/ladyo.

 

[HalcyonDays]

Jack needs putting on gardening leave.

I think she'd be brilliant going on Bargain bleep

 

[ChastityDingle]

Hi tender hearted Frauen and Herren, long time lurker here. I've been trying to maintain being a lurker and not be sucked into the rough and pumble life but the ring post has broken me. Not the rings per se because also wtf you can't be in serious poverty with those but.....

THE STATE OF THOSE HANDS. I'm sorry. As a catering frau of around 20 years working in kitchens around the world, if I had have turned up to ANY JOB with my hands looking like that I would have been sacked on the spot/sent home/never been asked back. You cannot pass yourself off as a serious cook with that level of uncleanliness. And before anyone comes at me with 'I can't afford soap', love look at what is on your hands! Go down the pound shop you can by enough soap to last you for a year with any of those diamonds off your rings.

As you were tender ones, you are such a funny bunch xx

BIB - exactly.
If anyone with hands like that was trying to hand me food or even a drink, I think I would be sick.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Teal squig is the one from earlier today. Lilac squig is Patreon Squig who's been chasing a refund for quite a while. People aren't letting this go and I am ~here for it~

Oh, and LBC and the presenter are tagged in to all of these

(Deleted original screenshot as accidentally left squig's email in)

 

[ScouseGobsheet]

Too early to suggest the hoops might really be coming off her wagon at this point?

 

[onlysunshine]

I really wanted to quote RT but my Twitter accounts aren't anon. Even my anon one there are people who know it's me. Damnit.

... is this you, Jack?

 

[Vanelope]

She's an absolute moron. The point is she was pleading poverty last week and now she's posting pics on twitter with three diamond rings. THREE DIAMOND RINGS.

View attachment 1497892

Then you should have given them back!

 

[Boyo]

LMFAO here. That really is not the killer mic drop she evidently thinks it is! Oh dear, oh dear. Here Jack, let me lend you a big spade so you can dig down.

 

[jenny2603]

“Oh bugger, the ‘aquamarine’ bullshit didn’t work! QUICK, DEPLOY EMERGENCY BORIS JOHNSON REF! That’ll prove I’m decent and trustworthy and absolutely deserve more donations so I don’t need to find that fourth ring & then pretend it was from ASDA…”

No one wants to see your Distraction Johnson, Jack. Just tell us about the Patreon and Teemill cashos.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

youd have to be quite stupid to beg for money one week and then post your three diamond rings the next. Quite stupid or breathtakingly arrogant. One or the other.

Or both

 

[domeafavour]

Or both

Your avatar

 

[Emmapism]

I don't want to play favourites or anything (who am I kidding, I absolutely do) but @Belgian Bun you are my favourite new poster and I don't care who knows it!





Side note for Jack when she grunks: If expressing my distaste at grifting and lying says more about me than it does about you then I'm completely okay with that. I've no shame in repeatedly saying that grifters are the lowest of the low. And anyone who would beg for cash from others when they had ~literal~ diamonds in a dresser drawer is a PRICK of the highest order. Go well you big ball bag

 

[Belgian Bun]

I don't want to play favourites or anything (who am I kidding, I absolutely do) but @Belgian Bun you are my favourite new poster and I don't care who knows it!





Side note for Jack when she grunks: If expressing my distaste at grifting and lying says more about me than it does about you then I'm completely okay with that. I've no shame in repeatedly saying that grifters are the lowest of the low. And anyone who would beg for cash from others when they had ~literal~ diamonds in a dresser drawer is a PRICK of the highest order. Go well you big ball bag

I wanted to just say thank you but apparently you can't just post the words "thank you"!

 

[Boyo]

Jack needs putting on gardening leave.

Continuing to be paid but not actually doing anything productive? Hasn’t she been on gardening leave for years?

 

[FunnyFuneral]

She's an absolute moron. The point is she was pleading poverty last week and now she's posting pics on twitter with three diamond rings. THREE DIAMOND RINGS.

View attachment 1497892

But but Jack didn't you say you bought 2, and got given one back by the fiance(e) who didn't want a depressing remnant of you, so you bought at least one of those, and alluded to a fourth kicking around. Love starved ball of bitterness yourself right back atcha, ya prune. I have just celebrated my 10th anniversary with the glorious Mr FF and my engagement (and wedding ring, never got that far before they cut & run, did you? ) is still firmly on my finger where it belongs. If you weren't such a bag of wind, self importance and tripe, you might find an OH that sticks. Poor thing whoever they end up being ...

 

[JombleWomble]

View attachment 1498016

The hair

I'm very much enjoying seeing former Patrons of Jack's publicly demanding refunds. I hope Nigella and the media bigwigs who keep offering her airtime are seeing these tweets and are rethinking their relationships with her.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Continuing to be paid but not actually doing anything productive? Hasn’t she been on gardening leave for years?

Soon she'll be slagging off Boris for being in several failed relationships

 

[Boyo]

Rinsed hoops? Or am I missing something with this poetry thang?

Can’t go poops?
Here, rinsed hoops.

 

[DrtCrl]

I know...it's almost like either
A) There hasn't been a performative shop lately
OR
B) There hasn't been a small/teenage boy there to eat them.

Bracing myself for SMARTPRICE RICE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

THREAD TITLE PLEASE!!!

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Crikey that LBC footage. Yikes pet! Time for a break.