Jack Monroe #361 The only person thats suffered has been, uh, me

[metroglide]

I sought after a mysterious wang in my messages


I blamed the resident thief fox


I wailed and cried
Cried and whined

Why you cry?
No wang.

Why no wang?


How can wang be wron

Wang, are you out there, tender one?
Wang,

(Oh, fuck me, Tommy Lee
Posted a d**k pic!)

Ummm... Anyone got a phone with enough screenshot to have captured it for...posterity? Asking for a not very close friend.

I have a screenshot of the wang, but I don't know how to message on here!

 

[Shimmering]

If I remember correctly there was an entirely malicious suggestion that they reported people to social services. This was based on them saying they followed safeguarding guidelines so that if they came across someone who couldn't look after themselves or say evidence of neglect or abuse they would report it, which makes them snitches.

Exactly. There are some screenshots on here:

Roadside Mum #3 How dare you call me a Tory?

she's done another trademark multi-tweet thread to explain she's putting up a charity shop dress on vinted because it absolutely cannot be altered or returned to said charity shop. Complaint?! Who is she complaining about? Herself for not trying it on first? Eyeroll PLEASE.

tattle.life

 

[Hollaaa]

I quite like them in a long vodka, which reminds me, I've not had one for years. I need to put that right.

I love a long vodka, have to have one for tradition's sake when I'm in Celery Town.
Also I have it in the house for making Old Fashioneds (bitters/orange/whisky/optional: soda - sometimes I skip the middleman and use Fanta).

 

[Soap a Dope]

fuck no.

A day late and a dollar short. I hear ya lol

 

[HotesTilaire]

The JFC was aimed at Jack, not @discolisa. Just realised how bad that sounded so jumped out of the shower to send this message

Nope, no big “April Fools” banner or “no Sherlock award of the week goes to...”

 

[TankGirl]

I am SO glad you’ve asked, wondering for a friend …


Oh of course that all makes complete sense now, thank you dear heart x

Quoting myself LAT but send helpos, trying to keep up but just remind me why yer mans wanger has popped up, as it were, amongst us tender heart canal folk ? Thanking you

Fancy a game of tetanus spooooons, pumble, wang?
Spoooooons stab pumble
Pumble absorbs Wang
Wang bends spooooons

The pumble will absorb the wangle - EARWORM

 

[ScouseGobsheet]

If “ate a whole tube” means “did a Danielle Lloyd” then no wonder she has unruly labia.

Was getting Gillian Taylforth vibes myself. /old ninny/

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I watched some of the BBC bit... Her top lip is channeling Rio Ferdinand somewhat

My thoughts exactly.

 

[YenE]

Extremely Jack Monroe vibes. No wonder they kiss each other’s arses.View attachment 1493089

Does he talk for 8 hours a day?
ETA: I still don’t think talking for 8 hours would be as tough as manual labour.

 

[Cookiecookie]

I can take a guess

Is it bad that's what I'm hoping for?

 

[Lauradianalou]

Ooooh...I love Kitchen Sanctuary's recipes. I've made quite a few of Nicki's recipes and they've all turned out really well. The Tuscan Chicken is my favourite

 

[Elastoblast]

Obviously my skills are primary school level but I thought I’d compare her on DKL with today. Are you really trying to pretend you haven’t had work done? Really??

Also on DKL she said that she doesn’t believe in hiding vegetables in kids’ food. Maybe that was just a lockdown belief?

Also - is that her ‘I’m on the telly‘ shirt??

View attachment 1491081

Fresh faced and natural cos of her sobriety innit!

Tommy Lee of Motley Crue posted a dick pic to Insta and Twitter.

I'm concerned it could be a certain part of someone's anatomy after the turn this thread and the last have taken

 

[HalcyonDays]

She’s getting pasted

Pasted. Yum

 

[Captainmouse]

A hot, hot day like today calls for a light salad with some grains and a tasty dressing one pot 15 minute cardamom porridge made with plums, honey-fried cooking bacon and a final swivel* of biscoff.

*I do mean swivel and not swirl btw.

I will be here all week until I get bored providing breakfast recipes until my one true love is given unto me.

Dorset cereals choc and cherry

 

[ChastityDingle]

I have an abundance of pasta, and a day off with no firm plans. I'm willing to do it. I'll be fair, make it exactly as it says. Pics later today (after lunchtime I'd think).

Please do this !

 

[Boyo]

What lunatic fancies stuffing stew at 8pm on a day that's been hotter than Hades? These squigs are bonkers.

FTFY

 

[BantzMonkey]

Erm...

View attachment 1491270

Looks like a full chunder bowl

 

[TillyMiffin]

What does the ‘no bread…’ slogan mean?!?

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Normally I would use the word 'claggy' to describe matting in the coat of a dog, but here we have a new definition.
That is very claggy.

Aw, it does look a bit like Content's coat

 

[Bugger13]

That's it exactly. And they don't move the way they are supposed to when she's talking. Sort of like Janice Dickinson.

Ignore the twit at the beginning of the video and go directly to 1:25 onwards to see what I'm referring to.

Oh wow, is this why Kathleen Zellner talks like that (steven avery’s lawyer)? I’m clueless on this, I kind of thought kathleen had perhaps had a stroke.