Jack Monroe #356 I can put 30p in the mortgage, Harold!

https://giphy.com/MVUyVpyjakkRW I haven't been able to keep up but like to imagine that Jack is like this right now.

Anyway, I've cleaned the pool and have cava (but no orange squash, please byo) so please feel free to join me. A glorious ninny pool party

https://giphy.com/4Ri1aDHYrv75S

jenny2603 said:

I like a bit of Gene myself. He would not stand for Jack trying to rinse his 'oops.

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I don't think she'd get within 20 feet of his hoops....he'd also brush her away like the life cockroach that she is... The Gene Genie says "no to 'oop rinsing!"

Django said:

https://giphy.com/MVUyVpyjakkRW I haven't been able to keep up but like to imagine that Jack is like this right now.

Anyway, I've cleaned the pool and have cava (but no orange squash, please byo) so please feel free to join me. A glorious ninny pool party

https://giphy.com/4Ri1aDHYrv75S

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Can I jump in fully clothed and splosh about, pal?

BlendedSlop said:

God she's such a roaster. Imagine accusing a Michelin starred chef of stealing your rinsed hoop recipes and that somehow not being the most cringeworthy thing you did that day.

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Can some clever Frau make sure that the Tom Kerridge tweet is added to the wiki with its own heading, just in case we get any curious chef visitors to canal hq

Kallie77 said:

If I'm picturing my actually poor / working class / council estate / single mum upbringing (fuck off Jack) it would be:

Pint of milk
Pack of custard creams (council estate breakfast and not ashamed )
Fish fingers
Potatoes
Baked beans
Bread
Cheap marg
Cheap pop
Tea bags
Multipack of cheap crisps

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Being a posh wanker, could there be one for Celiac? With a list that goes up to 11?

2l of Lactofree milk (Celiacs are often lactose intolerant)
Potatoes
Bag of rice
Packet of GF Pasta (or GF bread if you really want a fright)
Olive oil (cuts out butter/dairy, used for cooking, actually tastes nice and has health benefits)
1kg Bag of onions
4 tins of tomatoes
A whole chicken (because it covers more than one meal)
Box of sea salt (because in a world where 99% of the food - including stock cubes, spices, nuts, grains and seemingly everything else is out to poison us, we need something to add flavour and out of the two, pepper ain't it)
450g of mince
3 bulbs of garlic

New thread this way, it’s not perfect, don’t sue me Jack!

I found this, and the awful recipe it must be referring to. and

NellieBoo said:

It's at this point I'm going to start crying 'Why does it never happen to ME? Life is so UNFAIR' and start hurling the cans of pumpkin I have stored for pumpkin pie, for this moment .

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Quoting myself like a twat. But I'm FINE. As a rational human being, I'm aware of the limitations of my TERRIBLE crush . I don't need to stare into a sentient mirror to realise my truth or anything .