Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[usefullyuseless]

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of when the Greek mezze was on special at the Co_op.

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You weren't raised Greek, Jack. My dad is Italian but I don't claim to be raised Italian. You're a middle class, white English girl. This is it, the hill I will die on. Fight me.

 

[Arsov Cooper]

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I'm sorry. Am I living in an alternative universe? I am not poor, or financially challenged, but when I need liquid in a stew or casserole, I use water. Is this unusual? Do you have to use alcohol in every meal when you are flat out broke/feeding your three-year-old/working in a brothel/sleeping on the streets? I might be slightly adrift in the timeline (who isn't ) but by her own admission she was an alcoholic who was drinking heavily throughout that period, and she says she was buying cheap Sainsbury's lager to put in her food and not so much as taking a sip. It's utter nonsense.

 

[colouredlines]

Does anyone own Tin Can Cook? Because I can only see the ingredients list for this recipe online, not the method, and I am dying to read it all.

Remember the soup made from a tin of soup? We have something even better:

 

[ChickenPorridge]

The continuous posting of her phone number to 550k people is just so embarrassing my sis in law put a pic of her dog on Insta yesterday with the tag covered because she has (let me check...450 followers on a private page who are mostly all friends/family/work colleagues) because everyone knows it only takes one total weirdo to latch on to you. It's just mind boggling, ridiculous attention seeking at this point

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

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Oh, you dozy mare.


You don't have RA, then. You've never had RA.

Peri means there's swelling around the joint, not inside it. And in this case, calcium crystals irritating the soft tissues.

That's not rheumatoid arthritis. That's why you aren't on the Big Boy medications. Because there is fuck all wrong with your immune system. It's also often a one and done - you stop growing the crystals, stop doing the activity that caused the injury - like benchpressing the hereditary monarch 300 times a day - it gets better.





You've just got overuse injuries. You'll be fine. No problems with your immune system, no scary medications, no need to be shielding during Covid (immunocompromised my arse). Nothing to worry about.

 

[colouredlines]

Jack leaving home after failing her GCSEs is something that she has repeated said for her entire career, from that very first Xanthe Clay interview to her appearance on BBC radio this year, where apparently she lived in a multicultural flatshare: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/ar...rom-writer-and-poverty-campaigner-jack-monroe

The article also contains the truest sentence ever written about Jack by a journalist:

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I have covered the phone number.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Out of touch middle class middle aged ladies make up 90% of self funded counselling/therapy courses

Having had the misfortune to work with them in a prior job, in my deeply forensic, granular experience, they also comprise 90% of university counselling Certificate/Diploma course instructors and program leaders too.

It was like being in a constant fuge state of wafting chiffon scarves, Per Una, and a patronizing air of “talk to everyone as if they’re all five year olds who’ve had a bit too much Sunny Delight and it’s almost bedtime”. (Also, some of the most passive aggressive people I’ve ever worked with so I can totally see/am here for Sabotage Carole)

 

[moldwarp]

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she’s COMPLETED CALCIUM MATE. Not only does she have enough calcium, she actually has too much calcium. Jack wins at calcium, ner ner ner ner!

 

[Feck]

How many teeth did she start with? I refuse to believe she has any left to break. This is a weekly occurrence.

"I Jack Monroe, have the most teeth, all the teeth, more teeth than anybody ever."

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

It's becoming so obvious that she's not committed to a career in food. It was only ever a vehicle. Her skills and knowledge have deteriorated. She's astoundingly poorly read, she's uninterested in the work of her peers, and she's unable to develop. It's pitiful.

 

[auntylil]

I know someone who lives in a small village and the town was rocked by some woman demanding a local rooster minding it's own business on a farm be destroyed because her daughter was terrified of it.

That is just awful! If there's one thing I can't stand it's over-protected, over-privileged spoilt brats!

Spoiler: Off topic, but also, on topic, cock talk...

Not sure where this will land as I'm still grunking, but we had hens and a cockerel (named Hooter) when we were growing up. Neighbours were more than happy to take our fresh surplus eggs - as was the case back in those days, we were all skint (real working class poverty not the tend middle class kind) and all helped each other out. Home-made cakes, bread, pies were graciously delivered to those in need; kids were taken in and given their supper/tea/dinner because little Susan told mammy that her friend hadn't had a meal that day (I'm sorry, that makes it sound like I'm telling a Jack tale - except mine is true); cuttings and plants handed around - you get the picture, I'm sure many here will have experienced the same. Anyway, one of our neighbours complained about our cockerel doing what cocks do naturally, and waking her up around 6am each day. I know that could be annoying, but the same woman regularly took eggs, vegetables my dad had grown, etc from us. She eventually complained to the council and in the end, because we "hadn't stopped him making a noise" WTF, we had to get rid of old Hooter. My dad was so upset at the time! Needless to say, said neighbour still expected free eggs...she didn't get them!

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Jack's spending on crap also contradicts her 'the pov scarred me for life' narrative because if someone had plumbed the depths of depravity and despair as she claims they wouldn't be splurging left right and centre and leaving themselves open to being back in that situation (£34 in the bank send cashos).

My Dad had a lot of problems with drugs over the years and ended up living on the streets for a few years. He is sorted now thankfully, but even decades later the frugality hasn't left him. He came to stay recently and I ordered a chinese through their website. Somehow the order glitched and it sent two portions of special fried rice, large main meal sized. Too much for us to eat with the other food ordered. When I went to clear up afterwards my Dad was visibly on edge about the prospect of the food being thrown away, because he had experienced life where food wasn't a given.

A milder version of Art Speigleman's father on holiday in Maus trying to return a half eaten packet of cornflakes to the shop on their way home, because his experiences in the Holocaust mean he is unable to let any food go to waste.

Jack had the most traumatic time in history, the hungriest a human has ever been, yet she gets a few quid and it's 4 McPlants and two pairs of Tiffany earrings

 

[colouredlines]

Squigs delivering what I can only assume are some very backhanded compliments.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Finally caught up. The latter end of the last thread was spicy re Companies House. Thanks to all the Fraus who explained the situation. I'm disgusted that Jack is likely going to get away with this. Although I have absolutely no proof, based on her media gigs in 2020, I think she earned and probably spunked tens of thousands of pounds.
I really doubt she is earning the minimum on patreon, her actions like buying a puppy and renewing an expensive rental suggest she earns well above the minimum.
I also think that rather than having a creepy stalker, Jack is the creepy stalker. Sending those books to poor Boobra, Pete and Ginnifer (Guinevere, Ginny?) prove as much. Other stalker/bullying actions include sending legal letters to former friends and calling people by their first names during arguments on Twitter. It's patronising and intimidating.

She is a vile nasty evil cunt. My sympathy dissipated in 2020 but I'm forever reminded by Hack herself, how undeserving she is of sympathy. You can fuck off several times over Jack. Be sure to balance a pencil case that is also suspended on elastic above an open door Jack. Then it can bounce off your inflated giant ego head repeatedly.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Please can someone explain like I’m 5 how the vimes boots index actually works?

I can’t make head nor tail of it. Thé idea I have in my head means that as soon as anything is finished it’ll need doing all over again which would make it like a full time job (almost like things like that is for the ONS).

so I’m thinking my grasp of it must be wrong.

Buying cheap boots is a false economy. You have to replace them often therefore spending more.
Rich people who can afford the initial 150 quid lay out for good boots don't spend so much on them in the long run.
Something like that.
ANNNND it was Robert Tressell not Pratchett who pointed this out in 'The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists'.

ETA.. How this applies to Smart Price rice, fuck knows.

 

[instacharlie]

I think she's really not enjoying the whole puppy thing. I'd go as far to say she's hating it.
Jack is a massive oversharer and the fact that she's shared so little makes me think that she's over it already.
When you get a puppy you can't help but bore people to shit with photos, stories, etc. You talk non stop about how many times it gets you up in the night, or when it's finally pooped outside. How much it seems to eat for such a small thing! You whine about how you're meant to stop the tiny little raptor from chewing on everything......especially toes. You document first time in the garden, first time out the house, first visit to families houses, etc. Yet there is none of that??
She's no longer talking about her sb like he lives there because it's obvious he doesn't. I think the dog posts will stop quicker than we all thought. Then a year down the line there will be a post about how it was never really her dog and she was just dogsitting.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

So she was drinking whiskey heavily for a decade, which would be... 2011 to 2021? So where does that leave the not drinking during the Poverty (or, depending on which article you read, the drinking Sainsbury's pisswater lager over Christmas one year?)

 

[definitelynotvlad]

Given the number of unsold copies she was left with, I wouldn't be surprised if at this point Jack has sent a copy of Good Food for Bad Days to Pete, Jen, & Borbs, her brother, Edwina Currie, Michael Portillo, Katie Hopkins, the Burberry shop assistant who didn't want to serve her, the woman on the train who thought Cath Kidston was white trash, all four ex-fiancées, her stalker, Richard Littlejohn, Kelvin McKenzie...

Maybe eventually we’ll all get a copy, like the jubilee book they gave to every primary aged child in the U.K.

 

[jenny2603]

An oldish tweet and not from one of the usual suspects. You'll be amazed to learn, no correction came.