Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[Boogs]

For those who don't know. Carole is not only a publisher but a therapist.

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And judging by how she handles Jack is fucking shit at both jobs.

 

[definitelynotvlad]

When Jack says she’s already sent a book to two out of three of her nemeses Borbora, Piotr & Gennyfur, does she mean she’s sent two of them one of her other books, or she’s sent them a draft copy of the current book? Either way it’s psychopath behaviour, but if she has already sent them a spite book in the past but is *still* harping on at them by dedicating the new book to them, then she is genuinely unhinged. Justice for Borb.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Oh dear

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(About to actually read so sorry will drop off of the night shift 🫡)

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DISGUSTENG

So she was biting open the packaging of a packet of bread rolls? To do this with your back teeth would involve shoving a plastic bag right into your gob. As usual the made up story makes no sense.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I made a nice grid collage of a time when the lights were on.

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Fuck me, I pity poor Matt for being on the receiving end of THIS look.

I think I’d have called the Police, and set off the fire alarms and sprinklers simultaneously in the hope that at least one of the emergency services would get there very quickly to save and protect me.

It’s truly hard to tell if she wants to shag him, eviscerate and eat him, or a little from column A, a little from column B.

 

[colouredlines]

When Jack says she’s already sent a book to two out of three of her nemeses Borbora, Piotr & Gennyfur, does she mean she’s sent two of them one of her other books, or she’s sent them a draft copy of the current book? Either way it’s psychopath behaviour, but if she has already sent them a spite book in the past but is *still* harping on at them by dedicating the new book to them, then she is genuinely unhinged. Justice for Borb.

Given the number of unsold copies she was left with, I wouldn't be surprised if at this point Jack has sent a copy of Good Food for Bad Days to Pete, Jen, & Borbs, her brother, Edwina Currie, Michael Portillo, Katie Hopkins, the Burberry shop assistant who didn't want to serve her, the woman on the train who thought Cath Kidston was white trash, all four ex-fiancées, her stalker, Richard Littlejohn, Kelvin McKenzie...

 

[colouredlines]

My favourite thing about today's Twitter chaos is that Jack could have said something sensible like "I think it's a good idea to let kids play parliament because we need to encourage the youth to take an interest in politics" but instead she went down some batshit route that led to her arguing online about whether or not children are people.

Never change, Jack.

 

[usefullyuseless]

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I have covered the phone number.

She is so desperate for someone to contact her. Pathetic.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I'm so pissed off with her performative recovery tweets tonight. I read them on twitter whilst thinking about all the inconsistencies mentioned on here about her alleged alcoholism like that she said she drank a bottle of gin a day, to saying she didn't like gin and now it's whiskey (or whisky previously). Not just any whiskey but he overproof stuff (from Asda even though they don't sell it) because everything has to be the most ever!

I cannot believe she just stopped drinking during 'the poverty' yet was an addict and bought booze to cook with without any bother. I've done some truly shameful things in addiction to ensure I fed the addict in me. The first part of recovery is accepting you are powerless over your addiction and you really are, finances, children etc aren't enough on their own. It's grim and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy!!

I'm just sick of the fawning from all the squigs and feel like we are the only sane people that see it all and I worry about the harm she might cause by the thoughtless bollocks she tweets.

10 meetings a week, over a year into your recovery. Why?? Someone might be put off seeking help from AA because they think that's necessary after a year sober! Even when you are a newcomer you might hear 'do 90 meetings in 90 days', but 10 a week sounds really scary to someone considering AA.

Where is Content during all these meetings? And her son seeing as she reckons he lives with her (we know he doesn't but she makes out he does).

That is exactly what I thought.

She is using the AA meetings as therapy. I know they are meant to help people in need but with her I feel that by going to 10 meetings a week she is just using them as an opportunity to talk about herself over and over again as a replacement (or an addition) to actual therapy. What about the others at those meetings? If she is all about kindness at the moment, surely she is not showing much by hogging the limelight and not letting the others talk or getting what they need from AA?

She can’t have it both ways. I know we are told (and it is a perfectly valid concept) that people who are struggling often don’t look like they are struggling. But this isn’t what is happening with her. In fact this is never what she has presented. She has shown a reductive idea of “struggling burglar bull Jack” vs “fixed, lights on, smiling Jack”. But she repeatedly claims she has a bonfire of a life but simultaneously a life beyond her wildest dreams. Which is it?

Her life is lived out on Twitter, for Twitter. That’s clear for anyone to see. When you construct something for external validation, it a) will not give you long term satisfaction and b) will not be able to be maintained for long.

I just hope the meetings thing is a lie because I feel for the others there and I hope Content isn’t hers because I worry about him every day.

 

[Falkor]

We have a spite castle not too far from here. It got built in 1907 as part of a divorce settlement for a second wife, she chose a plot of land as close to her ex's land as possible, where they would see the building when they passed on the train, and the clock tower only has three clock faces on it, the side facing her ex's castle is blank because she wouldn't give him the time of day.

What next for the Highland 'haunted Castle of Spite'?

Historic Carbisdale Castle in Sutherland is back on the market for the third time in six years.

www.bbc.co.uk

(It has now sold, sadly - I'd have loved to take a crack at doing that up.)

 

[Orphan_Black]

I always imagine Jack has a big wheel of fortune type spinner in her house which helps her decide which chaos to milk for attention next. It’s labelled with subjects like ‘teeth’, ‘stairs’, ‘hair loss’, ‘shoulder’ etc and she spins it every morning to help her decide what to post about that day.

I like to imagine her as a Sim. Endlessly posing in the mirror to up her charisma points, burning the kitchen down when opening the fridge, not working out how doorways work and pissing herself on the spot.

If only she would use the 'Rosebud' cheat, you could get the orangery, Jack!

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

U ruddy guise, grunking so no idea where this will land and don’t want to myself but I am currently working on a project with a food production company - writing marketing stuff for their products.

One of them is an instant stuffing mix and they have suggested I add in that it can be used to ‘add flavour and texture to homemade tomato soup’. All I can think about is our very own MancBee nearly expiring when he tried it after making Wor Jackie’s concoction…I must save others from the same fate…I also you know, need to be paid…but STUFFING MIX SHOULD NOT GO IN SOUP and I will die on this salty hill.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

This guy is called Mr Cyst. He’s a mean bastard. I think he dropped out of Jack’s mouth where he’d been living under a piece of solidified slop.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Last time it was on a glass of water.

Oh, no, wait - it happened while she was asleep.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Might be impossible to read, soz:

I can't be arsed reading it but I'm sure it's really good and that.

 

[colouredlines]

Some of her favourite things include any kind of attention, being a victim, and her squigs coming to her rescue so I guess in some twisted tragic way her advertising her number makes sense.

The mad thing is that she hasn’t put it up ‘accidentally’ for a few hours and then said ‘oops’ taking it down thanking the squigs for their help. How many times has she posted it now? Our Jack doesn’t do things subtly does she?

It also feels like it gets more blatant in each photo. Like, the first couple of times it was at an angle and you had to squint a bit, now it's front and centre. Pretty soon it'll just be an ultra-zoomed-in pic of her phone number with a few tufts of fur in the corners.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I took a screenshot of this a few days ago but didn’t post it:

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Just my opinion, but I reckon that not a single addict in the history of addiction, stopped drinking/using *just* because they had no money. I’ve met people who have stole, undertaken sex work or even white knuckled through however long it took to get money.

And I would even go so far as to say, I’m afraid I don’t think she would put SB over herself, ever. Thank god it’s not true!

There was a segment on our local news the other night about how Scotland raised the price per unit of alcohol (to 50p), however it has only resulted in people spending more on alcohol. It hasn’t massively impacted on alcohol-related health issues…because if you are addicted to something, you will do what you can to get money for it.

Spoiler: Alcohol- lockdown

Not sure about the rules in England but in NI I remember at the first hints of lockdown they were closing off licences and you could only buy booze in the big supermarket. Then they realised this was a terrible idea as people with alcohol dependence who don’t have the means to get to the big shop need their local corner off licences to be there otherwise the a&e would have been full of people in withdrawal as well as covid patients. There was a lot of snobbery from people saying “how is this an essential shop” who have no clue how lucky they are to not have an addiction

 

[kachoochoo]

um, if it was publicly available, surely it'd show up somewhere on t'internet

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Oh dear

(About to actually read so sorry will drop off of the night shift 🫡)

DISGUSTENG

 

[jenny2603]

Queen of promoting healthy coping strategies and teaching people to let go right there.

I'm quite honestly speechless. Jack is an adult and ultimately responsible for her own behaviour but the people encouraging this aren't exactly helping.