Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[colouredlines]

Here you go, dear heart - I'm sure you'll agree it was worth the wait x

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Amazing.

We've all been there - you're eating some baked beans and you think, "Hmm, if this had a few chunks of undercooked onion in it, it'd really hit the spot." Thankyou, Jack, for all you do x

 

[BlendedSlop]

I also feel like I need to share this, from the "Breakfast" section:

 

[colouredlines]

More than anything else this shows how much her career is in decline. Every channel is covering the cost of living crisis extensively, as a long-standing poverty campaigner and low cost recipe writer she should be a shoo in for a regular spot in the same way all the epidemiologists and virologists were during the height of the pandemic. However, with the exception of a few short and forgettable spots on Loraine she’s almost completely absent.

It also really shows how much she's squandered opportunities. Earlier this year, when the 344% thread went viral, she briefly had the highest profile she's had in years - constantly on TV/radio, getting retweeted by genuinely famous people etc etc.

Anyone even slightly savvy would have seized that with both hands. Get the website updated regularly again, post weekly meal plans, start a newsletter on supermarket deals of the week...there are so many options. Instead she bought a pigskin hat and went on holiday to Venice.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

She’s claiming she was a big whiskey drinker again. Of course, back in 2016 she claimed it was a bottle of gin a night. (Receipts from an old Tattle thread).

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And of course, once I went looking for that, I found Jack talking about how she never ever drank gin ever. Not even on those insta photos of the gin tasting. This was in the nasty trifle thread.

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Fucks sake, the way she trivialises alcoholism there. "From alcoholic to don't fucking need it in 2 weeks". "Now we've kicked alcoholism's arse". Jack and recovery - completed it mate. That's not how it works. She wasn't, isn't an alcoholic. She's full of shit.

Overproof whiskey by the way, where on earth was she buying that? It isn't a commonly available drink. But of course, Jack couldn't just be addicted to whiskey, it had to be the strongest of whiskies ever .

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack, if you just spend 10 seconds covering the phone number, it will stop people saying this every. Single. Fucking. Time...

 

[SweetTransvestite]

how are the lemon curd ones so many different shades of yellow?!

It's because some lemons have more yellow in than others, I don't know why, they just do. Hope this helps, go well pal.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Carole has spoken.

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Won’t lie I’m extremely into this chaotic energy from Carole.

Is she actually a master troll working to prod Jack into ever more deranged vengeance, ultimately ousting her from the publishers’ roster and public life?? Or is she just a really out of touch middle class middle aged lady with absolutely no place being a therapist? Either way, I love it.

 

[colouredlines]

Jack's thumbprint cookies from the Guardian, 2014:

I mean, they look like shit here, but if your toddler came home from playschool with a tray of them you'd probably eat them, right? Eight years later, and they've regressed to the point that you'd "accidentally" drop them on the floor and douse them in lighter fuel.

 

[Ostapbender]

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"Children are literally taught the number at school"

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

I can't decide if this squig is fake/a sock or just deluded and stupid. Concerning the Youth Parliament dispute.

There was more but it ended with this:

 

[HansThatDoDishes]

I know it's 35 pages too early but we are all agreed that the next thread title should be Jack Monroe 344 % right? (And can we get smart price rice hats?)

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I made a nice grid collage of a time when the lights were on.

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What in the Pixie Pixar MF'ing Madness is happening here?

 

[Wooh]

Good grief. Calm down, Jackfan. Hyperbole is very 2019

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of when the Greek mezze was on special at the Co_op.

 

[nicjd1]

I'm so pissed off with her performative recovery tweets tonight. I read them on twitter whilst thinking about all the inconsistencies mentioned on here about her alleged alcoholism like that she said she drank a bottle of gin a day, to saying she didn't like gin and now it's whiskey (or whisky previously). Not just any whiskey but he overproof stuff (from Asda even though they don't sell it) because everything has to be the most ever!

I cannot believe she just stopped drinking during 'the poverty' yet was an addict and bought booze to cook with without any bother. I've done some truly shameful things in addiction to ensure I fed the addict in me. The first part of recovery is accepting you are powerless over your addiction and you really are, finances, children etc aren't enough on their own. It's grim and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy!!

I'm just sick of the fawning from all the squigs and feel like we are the only sane people that see it all and I worry about the harm she might cause by the thoughtless bollocks she tweets.

10 meetings a week, over a year into your recovery. Why?? Someone might be put off seeking help from AA because they think that's necessary after a year sober! Even when you are a newcomer you might hear 'do 90 meetings in 90 days', but 10 a week sounds really scary to someone considering AA.

Where is Content during all these meetings? And her son seeing as she reckons he lives with her (we know he doesn't but she makes out he does).

 

[colouredlines]

Hate that I need to know Jack Monroe's phone number to live in the UK. Not only that, but she could appear at any time... on the radio. Can't anyone stop this megalomaniac?

Jack Monroe's phone number is on the British citizenship test, between How many players are in a cricket team? and Who is 4th in line to the throne? and Has Guardian journalist Owen Jones ever been convicted of murder?

 

[jenny2603]

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So you agree, you were selling your kids toys and spending the money on whiskey instead of food or shoes that fit him?

WHILST LIVING ON THE STREETS.

"Mum, can we go indoors?"

"No, I have spent all the rent money on whisky and none of my friends, family, local community, police or homelessness services have noticed that I am homeless and drunk".

 

[MistyWindows]

Let’s not forget her classic recipe for Triple Tomato Soup.

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I have so many questions, such as why are you making soup out of soup? But my main one is, why do you need to blend this? It’s soup and chopped tomatoes. Even with the ouwchiest of mouths you could drink this down.

She’s so patronising with her ‘carefully pour it in’, like the average poor is going to rip the lid off and chuck the fucking can at the blender like a grenade.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Just rediscovered something which I want to share.

Do you remember the time Jack randomly tweeted in Czech before deleting it 23 minutes later?

(translation: Are you okay?)

 

[jenny2603]

Won’t lie I’m extremely into this chaotic energy from Carole.

Is she actually a master troll working to prod Jack into ever more deranged vengeance, ultimately ousting her from the publishers’ roster and public life?? Or is she just a really out of touch middle class middle aged lady with absolutely no place being a therapist? Either way, I love it.

*Immediately writes a four act play about a dodgy therapist who actively tries to destroy her clients lives to keep herself in work*