Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

[Captainmouse]

Put them both in a room and watch the ultimate passive-aggressive stand-off!

Can we sling in a couple of pumbles?

 

[Elastoblast]

Thread title nomination: The numbers on the key tag are upside down

You can sing that to the tune of the wheels on the bus. Gifting you all a little earworm for a Friday night

 

[MrsFawlty]

I called a scientist, an architect, several firefighters, and a lawyer. Between us all we hold decades of service, encyclopaedias of chemical information, forensic knowledge of building structures and escape routes.

I can actually SMELL the bullsh*t coming off these 2 sentences.

I read this part just now to my husband (vaguely aware of her, no idea about Tattle, doesn't use social media, etc). His reaction: "What?"
Exactly.

 

[FeelingGroovy]

I wore the Welephant costume at a summer fayre once, I also consider myself fully qualified.

This made me laugh so loudly, the dog(go) woke up and farted.

 

[NellieBoo]

also, public number? what? is that for when the political prisoners can't dm?

Or the people she's helping with their benefit claims and haven't got any phone credit and need to call her?

 

[Captainmouse]

Waaaaah. Have to quote myself. That was meant to say pumbling free! Pumbling. Not bumbling or mumbling.

Bizarrely enough offers pumble on autocomplete

 

[Boogs]

Spoiler: Yes , absolutely

View attachment 1421396
View attachment 1421397

Here’s Jackie!!! The most terrifying horror remake ever.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Is it only me that sees A17 and not 417? There is definitely a tail off to the bottom left of the 4, makes it look like a tribute to a boy band. Perhaps she asked for E17 and they couldn't understand her nasal twang?

The A17 is a road, a gun and, best of all - a tank!

Does Jack have the keys to Big Dave's tank?

 

[SkippyDoo]

Jack mentioned it is a reference to a page in the AA’s own “bible”, “The Big Book.”

I am not sure whether it would depend which edition you had as to whether that’s always going to be a correct page number.

I think she means “Acceptance is the Key” which is how some of the text on a version of that page I have seen, is sometimes summarised.

To add, “acceptance” is a big AA concept. For example, in the Serenity Prayer, acceptance of things you cannot change. This page of the Big Book has a lot of stuff about “acceptance” (of the situation, of reality, of your alcohol problem, I would venture), being the answer.

 

[Orphan_Black]

If it wasn't for the ink stained hands I would have said that tattoo is healed. Normally when you get a fresh tattoo it is either covered in clingfilm, or at least some vaseline type stuff but her arm looks dry.

ETA maybe not, just looked at some of my fresh tattoo pictures and they look much the same lol I'll try to stop being a JM conspiracy theorist now

It definitely takes a couple of days for them to go crusty and itchy. You can see the redness just forming on Jack's.

It looks dry AF though. Bepanthen nappy rash cream, Jack. Stat!

 

[Toastandjam]

That what you get when you use ‘apprentices’. Lol.

It’s a really badly designed and executed tattoo!

 

[Mrs Peel]

The grooming costs of that dog will be expensive. The little miniature schnauzer I looked after the other week costs £45 for a trim, shampoo and dry. I can only think that Content will be nearer the £75 mark. And they need doing often.

She'll probably get a quick dip in the dandelion dirt bath.

 

[Durga]

(incredibly amusing listen, she comes off as a conceited twat and is super rude to Venetia’s now husband)

This was actually my very first exposure to her and I was shocked at her hostility towards him! Should have trusted my gut reaction to her

 

[auntylil]

Love it when THAT BOY, Buddy Oliver does the cooking as usual much more screen presence than Jack.

Bloody love him, Buddy and his glamorous assistant - Jack could only ever dream of having as much charisma as this kid!

Wonder if she ever watches That Man or TM's SB...can imagine her huddled in the corner of a darkened room, gurning, growling, (not gently, not softly) clawing at her neck, while she throws squashed tomatoes at the TV! #itshouldabeenme

Sorry if that creates an ear worm, pals!

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Not to make light of it but all I could think of when Jack was telling Toff about her alcoholism in that video was this:

 

[Ostapbender]

Twitter is broken, oh what will she do

Twitter is broken
All by herself
Jack and the Pumble
Train on the shelf
Ain't misbehaving
Saving her important thoughts for tweets

 

[Boogs]

If you ever feel sorry for Jack just remember she left two small defenceless animals to die in an airing cupboard and I'm sure the feeling will pass

Were these the guineapigs or the labour named cats that one day just stopped being mentioned?

 

[SlopAmbsase]

Awwwww. I love Cookie Monster. I don't want him to be sad .

It’s OK, NellieB. He’s THE Cookie Monster, she’s a fucking cookie monstrosity.

 

[Captainmouse]

They look like they should go in SB’s rock tumbler.

maybe that’s where they came from

 

[Onestorytoomany]

If she likes her tattoo, then good for her. I just don't get why an adult needs applause from strangers for getting one. Wow, you went and got a thing you wanted at a bargain price. Yay, I guess?

I have a tattoo from when I was 18. I loved it then and now love it for getting it then, but would not get it now if that makes sense.

I know lots of people like that and it's the main reason I have never got one. People change their minds over time and the things that once meant something to them no longer do. My brother has just after about 12 years got his ex wives name covered.