Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

[heretoreaditall2019]

Sophie/Pretzel died an awful death and Jack said that Mini was never hers


Oh poppet, you are too young. This is a riff on a song by The Kinks x

the kinks dedicated follower of fashion lyrics https://g.co/kgs/YVztFL

Thank you, the curse is lifted, my kitchen cupboards have stopped opening and shutting abruptly and the toddler’s stopped levitating x

 

[MarzBarzie]

Been grunking away and had a thought about the hugely anticipated book cover - she’s so forensic about her hair that she got photographed in a long haired wig... is she gonna photoshop the latest tattoo on the cover pics?
PS the ‘7’ is obviously a representation of the smol pixie herself! It’s more a 6.8.

 

[FrumpyCat]

[/QUOTE]

Jack gets them all done at mates rates when she has the cashos.

If I so-called mate gave me a tattoo that looked like any of the ones Jack has, we would be having words.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Poor thing. In nine months or so it’ll be yet another massive, unsocialised teenage dog being advertised for rehoming ‘with a heavy heart’ and ‘through no fault of his own’. I hope she at least coughs up a few hundred for neutering.

If she isn't spayed, poor Content will first go into heat at about 6 months old. And if Jack doesn't know it, every male dog within a 10 mile radius of the crappy bungalow (with a staircase) will.

 

[Django]

Thank you, the curse is lifted, my kitchen cupboards have stopped opening and shutting abruptly and the toddler’s stopped levitating x

Happy to help, not all heroes wear capes xoxo

Someone cleverer than me should make those lyrics into a Jack song tho

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

I'm glad Dash isn't alive to go through a heatwave in her garage

 

[FrumpyCat]

View attachment 1418938

View attachment 1418941

it doesn't look expensive, and in two years time it will look even more tit.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

If I so-called mate gave me a tattoo that looked like any of the ones Jack has, we would be having words.
[/QUOTE]
She is cheaper than the 'Practice Pork' and times are hard.

 

[Ostapbender]

All the 417 reminds me of is 24601
Jack as Jean Valjean: We were starving. I stole a loaf of bread
Bishop: You poor thing, of course you couldn't help stealing from a Patreon subscriber or 700. Run along and thanks for all you do

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Why is she so rude? It's not cute or funny, it's just nasty.

Also. ...if you know, you know....is a phrase that makes me want to take a flying karate kick at a passing Pumble.

 

[Julia Edwards]

cheaper than the 'Practice Pork'

New thread title?

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Unless they are mackie, or a blue tick, you need to squiggle them

You'll soon get the hang of it, @hiyaaaacath.

 

[Smeghead]

New tattoo?
Still twit, too.

why so blue?
tit tattoo

 

[usefullyuseless]

As a child I used to watch 999, hosted by Michael Buerk (grade A plonker) so I think that means I out-chapeau all you ninnies 🦺

 

[Malkiavelli]

Well things are moving slowly

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With all the thought that’s gone into the specific benefits at ever more expensive tiers for membership of her patreon, she has definitely put a lot of thought into ways in which she can maximise her profit for doing precisely duck-all. But this in particular seems to be proof that despite not actually meeting her obligations , she is absolutely still manipulating the offer for maximum gain in real-time. So no chance at all to send what people have paid for, but plenty of time to keep up to date what else they could *apparently* be missing (“exclusive posts”) if they had the cheek to cut off that nice little earner for Twitter’s biggest twit.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Everything about this is so ghoulish, but I'm also so perplexed by this paragraph.

My Dad was head of Fire Investigation for eight years at Essex Fire and Rescue Service. A firefighter for thirty. I called him on Wednesday morning, building plans in my hand, to howl about the rapid even spread of fire, to ask about building regulations, to clarify in my rusty memory the firefighting procedures for a high rise building. I called a scientist, an architect, several firefighters, and a lawyer. Between us all we hold decades of service, encyclopaedias of chemical information, forensic knowledge of building structures and escape routes. And the hideous footage of the cladding well alight, the collapse of the windows, and the grim knowledge that the top floors are too structurally insecure to access to search.

If she actually did contact all these people... for what purpose? She was (supposedly) there to pair shoes. Why would she need to speak to those people?

A frau (I feel it was @PunkyMonkey - who is emergency services or adjacent to - who told us a report from the actual emergency workers there, she was given shoes to pair up to get her out of the way) apologies if I named the wrong frau and called you by mistake, punky-M

 

[Orphan_Black]

If she isn't spayed, poor Content will first go into heat at about 6 months old. And if Jack doesn't know it, every male dog within a 10 mile radius of the crappy bungalow (with a staircase) will.

Female dogs get 'periods' too in heat. Good luck with that, Jack.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Super-duper tattoo, Jackie! Presume SB is getting one to match. Hope the Patreons like it.

why so blue?
tit tattoo

Why Tattoo?
For squigs to view
And create revenue.
Hullaballoo!

I once helped a ewe get her head out of a wire fence and I regularly help baby frogs cross the road. I must be a vet.

 

[MancBee]

That dog is gonna be MASSIVE

Jack struggles with her own personal hygiene; imagine her house with a MASSIVE ungroomed dog with that wet dog smell, all sweaty after rolling in fox poo.

 

[TillyMiffin]

The kitten had more nicknames. You're slacking, Jack!

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We all know the puppy's real nickname is I Don't Need Harold's Big Car Anymore, I've Got A Lorry.

Not forgetting this was the kitten she was “caring for as a favour to a friend’