Jack Monroe #34 Medicine won't lift her gloom. Lady doc says Facetune!

[Veronicaaa]

I mean, she claims to be self aware and yet she posts this, seemingly without seeing the irony

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Oh tit yeah good point - I hadn't even thought of that stuff sorry have no idea how it works?!

Surely if you were playing silly games with allowable expenses & dividends & salary you wouldn't wanna go near it with a barge pole though! This isn't related to JM before she starts but we have a ltd company & we've not touched any of this bounce back support even though we'd probably be eligible. Neither of us would want to create a problem for down the line as we suspect HMRC are gonna be clawing back a lot of this tit tout suite where people have been a bit cheeky (rightfully so tbh - no judgment here) so it's like rolling tit down hill or whatever the saying is.

Exactly. You'd do everything financial exactly by the book rather than risk the Compliance people getting their claws into you.

What you'd also do is tell people you only take a pittance (for daily spends, dresses, lipstick, etc) whilst the rest went into a bank account that you use to buy the furniture and refrigerators with and claim as business expenses.

No penalty for giving randoms inaccurate information, after all. And it might mean a few more pounds in the tip jar.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

I recall Lips Monroe saying on DKL she didn’t read cookery books or does she not consider Nigella’s books in the same vein.

She reads them as novels

 

[Jelly Bean]

Of course the fragrant Nigella doesn't get an (ouchy) mouthful of abuse. A non blueticker would no doubt get a flea in their ear if they asked if there was anything they could do - 'Would you please stop IMPLYING I am useless. I already feel like tit due to TROLLS LIKE YOU. Just STOP IT NOW'.

 

[Jelly Bean]

She reads them as novels

I suppose she would see decent recipes as fiction. Makes sense now.

 

[BackRolls?]

Is that a ‘yes, absolutely x’?

Yes, absolutely x

 

[Alansbigplate]

If Jack had any self awareness about her own twitter behaviour

 

[help i need some help!]

Why would this ad appear as I scroll through?

I agree with her too. My huge issue is she is clearly weaponising her weightloss for both sympathy AND compliments. Her lipstick selfie with the gigantic hollow eyes and contouring to give herself hollow cheeks was absolutely her trying to look thinner

The contouring of the 'Max Headroom School of Contouring' it has angles and everything.

 

[Bobtheknob]

View attachment 165721

If you look at her Hellman’s ‘performances’ she looks, to me, a perfectly healthy weight. Her clothes aren’t hanging off her. She sounds delighted that she has achieved this attention from her filtered photos! Mission Accomplished!

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I suppose she would see decent recipes as fiction. Makes sense now.

 

[Bobtheknob]

her poor son

I agree.

 

[Raker]

I think she means the thing that’s been widely reported that when Prince William was at university he would tell a different story to each ‘friend’ and the ones that made the papers told him who he could trust. Think it was a plot line in Life on Mars too. But of course she can’t be bothered to explain why Prince Harry and her are BFFs. twit.

Still catching up, so probably already covered, but I think what you’re describing here is the “Rooney–Vardy” opening gambit...

 

[emmer_moans]

'Dear heart' sounds like a term of endearment an Edwardian lady would use to address a lifelong school friend. Not some blue ticker who sometimes throws a bone of attention to you.

 

[NextLoisLane]

Which med is it?

There's a particular medication for epilepsy that has a noticeable effect upon the people who take it. Even now, around 20 years after it first started being used, sharing the information is very heavily disapproved of - at the time, an ex's girlfriend wasn't told about the side effects until after she'd been on them for three months as they didn't want it to become well known, as the NHS was likely to withdraw approval if it became something people would abuse/obtain inappropriately. Meant she had the side effect, plus another of looking like she had grey skin and eyes like a shark, though.

 

[Marie Clare]

I come here from thread 31 just to say
Been grunka lunking since thread 7. Thought I’d have a little break from tattle as I managed about 13 threads since Monday (I’m furloughed ) But recent developments have insured I won’t be putting my phone down anytime soon! Hopefully will catch up in a couple of days!

 

[GothPrincess]

Don’t be a dick online.
NB: This does not apply to Jack.
How has she got Nigella licking her arse? I’m disappointed in Nigella.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Why is she even going on about 'don't sell my nudes to the papers (lol AS IF), I will know who you are and <Liam Neeson voice> I WILL FIND YOU'? It's got absolutely duck all to do with anything else she's saying??

 

[Silver Linings]

I hate the phrase ‘thirst trap’.

 

[Peeky_Mink]

I love how she isn't correcting people and allowing this little fantasy to continue.

 

[Silver Linings]

Why is she even going on about 'don't sell my nudes to the papers (lol AS IF), I will know who you are and <Liam Neeson voice> I WILL FIND YOU'? It's got absolutely duck all to do with anything else she's saying??

It’s because they’re so sexxxaaay. You know, because she looks so good? Sadly I think there’s only one person they’re for.