Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[People-huv-tae-know]

I would have thought going on testosterone wouldn’t make someone tired given it’s performance enhancing effects for athletes?

Spoiler: Trans experience

I have a trans family member who has been on T for over a decade. He is sick of JMs shit and I have permission to share. It never made him tired. The classic changes occured in that his voice changed, he got extra hair and bigger muscles. His facial features changed and he looks like his dad's double now whereas previously he was more like his mum in looks. But he also experiences mood swings and hot flushes especially in the days just before his next injection is due. His skin in the injection site is really tough now and the nurse has to rotate sites.

I think Jack was lying as usual.

 

[Lazarus]

I forgot to quote but I’m still laughing at the frau who misheard rambling for gambling.
I keep imagining you saying ‘you need to be careful, I’ve heard of people lose their houses and jobs when it becomes a real addiction’
And the other person just like ‘??? They’re going for a walk’

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Chin up, babes.

(This would so be Jack).

 

[Valiofthedolls]

How has she already spent all the Patreon cash? This is for paypigs to top up the tip jar and nothing else.

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Oh for the love of LJC just STFU you whiny little twit

 

[moldwarp]

You most definitely did not imagine it.

I don't know that she ever publically walked back the testosterone/binder/double-mastectomy-plans, but in this fairly nauseating interview she asks the interviewer to use the pronoun "she".

Jack Monroe, Bootstrap Cook interview - spilling the beans on tins, Twitter and talking about gender

The campaigning cook is on a mission to help everyone on a budget find the fun in feeding themselves

www.scotsman.com

Oh gawwwd that's the interview where she decided to play sex strumpet and turned up for the photoshoot in a corset, claiming she'd spilled lunch on her jumper. Then took to Twitter to claim she whipped off her jumper AT lunch and sat in the restaurant in her underwear because she's such a lil wild and free firework.

I was wrong before. Sex Jack is marginally worse than Anarchist Jack.

Anyway she'll be happy with the numbers on her 'shoplfters of the world unite' tweet. 53k likes. That'll be enough for Jack. She's not interested in helping the poor....but she is very interested in going viral on Twitter.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Have we heard anything more about the dates with The Teacher, etc?

There was a reappearance of Sad Jack. Sad Jack cancelled the pretend dates that Sexy Jack made because Politics Jack wanted to do some shouting.

 

[Mr Krabs]

This is the only cake she’s getting in Scotland.

 

[Django]

Superdrug has ended their association haven't they?

Must be because when Jack gave her talk she urged the staff to stand up And demand a decent wage. Just after she told them to ignore shop lifting.

Jack is almost the anti-christ of influencers, thanks to her I will never donate to the Trussell Trust, buy anything from Hellmans or Linda McCartney and am considering a boycott of Tiggy & Bo and Superdrug

 

[Five hundred dogs]

All this talk of her and SB sharing a wardrobe is giving me Lucille and Buster Bluth vibes. Let’s hope Southend never hold a motherboy pagent.

 

[MancBee]

This feels rather redundant given yesterday's literary/anarchist chaos, but have we had any hint on how the visits from the accountant and OH went?

It is so weird that not a single squiggle has asked her. Not one.

She was telling her 500k followers all about her busy day and all the meetings she had and nobody is bothered enough to ask how they went.

It shows how little they really care. If she never tweeted again not a single person would notice.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Oh yikes

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Deleted.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack, facing forward, pretending there's a load of paps taking photos

 

[Orphan_Black]

Oh god she’s probably got Covid, it’s rampant right now. Mr Dogs had it a couple of weeks ago and didn’t test positive until day three of symptoms. I don’t think I can cope with Covid Jack, it’s be all twee sorely poorly throats needing softy soft soft scambly eggs mixed with worse Covid to ever Covid, even worse than the Covid that people actually died of then self diagnosed long Covid the day after she tests negative.

I think she's lying.

She got up early in case any news outlets wanted Jack's hot take on the PM situation, and they didn't. Sulking and angry that her opinion is not the be all and end all of British politics, she is now announcing the illest of illnesses as an excuse.

 

[MancBee]

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Those sketches are so boring now, Jack. Why is her finger always on the pulse of trends happening 3 years ago? She's so cringe. I'm rapidly becoming a 1958 truther.

She would still be younger than me

But to be fair, she acts older than I do! I'll never forget her being scared of "youngsters in a dance tent". I'd be inside the tent enjoying myself.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I’ve been holding this in for the last 24 hours at least but WHY does Jack’s constant use of “whole damn” infuriate me SO much?! For someone seemingly so flipping verbose I expected more. (Or did I? I don’t even know anymore)

 

[Brian Butterfield]

LOL can you imagine Jack facing the opposition at PMQs or being grilled by Sophie Rayworth or visiting Zelensky or getting a briefing from MI5.

There's be shitting dog shaking, following by wild deflection, excuses, tall tales and finally "This is all really damaing my mental health, please leave me alone, I'M EXHASUTED!" followed by a flounce off for a piss and a sandwich.

Hands up if you'd kinda like to see it though

 

[Wooh]

The AA folk are also likely to come and go. It's not the same as consistent role modelling.

Spoiler: Bit of a "proud of myself, but not showoffy" me rail

I have friends who are fathers plural to their daughter. It makes me burst with pride and love when she turns to me for that different view or confirmation or trampoline rumble that she might not get with her Dads, (sometimes in rumbles I think it's as primitive as feeling a female body.) "Can I tell you something?" "What's it like having breasts?" And I have worked jolly hard to achieve that. I turn up. I have turned up for 8 years so that I'm part of her life furniture. It's not rock and roll all the time, either. But when she slips her hand into mine because her Dads aren't there and she needs an adult, or declares "it's not BOSSY to be a leader, you wouldn't say that to a boy", and if she takes me for granted because she can RELY on me, or farts in my face, then I've done it right, and *that's* role modelling, I think.

I feel embarrassed about my hyperbole here. It was unnecessary, and I wish I'd just said "I'm a female role model for her" instead of raving on about bursting. Sorry. I'm having a horrible cringe about all the shite I used to text and post when I drank. Apparently it didn't come out of nowhere. And boob, I guess, that's one of the reasons I've always found Jack a morbid fascination: she holds up a mirror to some traits I have learned it is wiser to manage

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I'm sorry but I huv tae know, who is Iqbal and what's the back story here?! The wiki has unfortunately failed me this time.

(Also BIB.. what does BIB mean?)

Also fuck off Jack, you know fuck all about Scottish politics (or any politics for that matter) and you'll do more harm than good if you attempt to "campaign" for Indy.

The Iqbal tale of woe is explained here and in a few of the poosts thst follow- on the following page are snippets of the “key complaints” too

Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery

I’m not even sure she was at the street party. Where were the pics of The trifle on the table? All we got was a random pic of Gunnery Jack. If the cops were there for a welfare check, they’d tell her where it came from and it’s far more likely to have come from someone she knows IRL. A friend...

tattle.life

While searching for it, I also came across this by Jenny numbers and I am all over again

ETA is there any way we can have this as a thread title?! Pretty please Yel and Poca?

 

[MancBee]

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Jack had a silent peaceful home? What with a radio full blast on in each room?

Oldie but goody.... MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

ETA @Sideboard Bob got there first. I should have known it wouldn't get passed you lot of mithering ninnies.

 

[KebabGirl]

If the dog is hers, does anyone else get the feeling she’s finding it too hard to cope with? She’s hardly gushing about it, or doing tonnes of cute cuddly puppy pics and has been pretty quiet all in all. Wonder if it could be keeping her up/playing up loads?

Yes. If I were her, I'd be using it for engagement, boost the following, get everyone happy. Let them forget her idiotic posts. Then you can switch to Insta stories and direct everyone over there for more puppy fun. Get the numbers up on both platforms to increase the chance of brand deals.

I took pictures of my cat daily when she was a kitten. It was hard work with her, so I dread to think what a puppy would be like. Before that I'd never lived with a young animal as all ours were rescued.

Lads, I found a lovely independent Portuguese restaurant today. It's called Nando's, hope it stays around as the chicken was really well cooked.