Jack Monroe #332 A doctor, a teacher and a ceramicist walk into a bar

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If I did a line every time she stated that she did a lot of groundwork I’d be starting to resemble Daniella Westbrook too.
She got a blanket that smelled like the dog and wafted it around the bungalow a bit. Such effort. Although I’m not sure the cat could pick up the scent over the other lingering honks.
 
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Good idea Jack, let's count all our pets' toys. I'll start! One catnip cigar, one felt turkey leg, two ping-pong balls... (mods it's a joke, pls don't, it'll be bin chat all over again)
 
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Good idea Jack, let's count all our pets' toys. I'll start! One catnip cigar, one felt turkey leg, two ping-pong balls... (mods it's a joke, pls don't, it'll be bin chat all over again)
Cooper has NOTHING. Laurie gets toys, Sideboard Cat has toys, but Cooper? He gets to sniff a stinking blanket. Poor puss.

Be kinder.

(ETA- I am just piss taking, you are kind xxx)
 
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Her insistence on serving sausages atop rice is offensive.

Not engaging in puppy discussion. The less said, the better. #FreeLaurie
 
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I’m convinced she’s facetuning Content now, just to get the likes up.

Our dogs have tens of toys, we don’t list what they are to prove a point as we’re not a pompous point scoring twat.
 
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But Orphy B, he had that spenny flapping fish which caused Jack to violently hoot almost to the point of being rescued by the RSPCA! So he has one toy. Isn't that enough for you? Do you want her to stop breathing, you mendacious troll?
 
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think I've triangulated the teddy in the cooper pic. I could just see that the ribbon has the hamleys logo.

it's currently in the sale at £27.99. original price is struck through below

 
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Omg Jack, who cares how many toys Content has? My dog won't play with anything but a tennis ball, but she does sleep with her emotional support flip flop.
 
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She is so rude to her squigs. The way she responds shows that she has zero respect for any of them.

I don’t think her Mum needs to sort her out. She is an adult in her mid 30s. Time for her to grow up and actually do some of the work she pretends she has done (but never will because she is never the problem).
 
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Omg Jack, who cares how many toys Content has? My dog won't play with anything but a tennis ball, but she does sleep with her emotional support flip flop.
Yeah my pup has many toys but he prefers to sleep with an old slipper.
 
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I’m about 16 pages behind but I’ve just seen the video of Content chewing Jack’s boot, and I’m convinced now that she is a genuine sociopath. Who wears shoes (slippers aside) in their living room, let alone boots?… only sociopaths.
 
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But Orphy B, he had that spenny flapping fish which caused Jack to violently hoot almost to the point of being rescued by the RSPCA! So he has one toy. Isn't that enough for you? Do you want her to stop breathing, you mendacious troll?
Errrm ninny, you’ve forgotten the ball of wool cooper had great fun with during the knitting jack phase
 
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