Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[RaeRae]

When I was growing up mum used to get worse. Sterilised milk in long tall bottles with beer bottle caps, suppose that might be what uht milk is today? And st Ivel Five pints milk powder! Eugh, still better than just water on your weetabix.

My mum used to put butter and jam on weetabix for us rather than milk sometimes . Now I wonder if it's because we had run out of milk

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I'm softly, gently easing myself back into these threads again after the last couple. I was here in spirit for Content and the other stuff best not mentioned. I bit my tongue and sat on my hands. Jack, you're vile and Squig, you'd pee yourself if you read the Wiki.

The William Shatner with his dodgy views on Autism?

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Thinking you’ll be getting a mortgage with someone after 4 months dating has big Fatal Attraction vibes.

Spoiler: Bad taste animal joke

Maybe that’s where Dash went

 

[margaretta]

On the subject of houses and mortgages, I am looking forward to the day that the penny drops that when you buy your ~forever home~ that by the end of your 20 or 25 years, you will have paid a monster amount of extra cash over its original value because of the old mortgage interest fees. I just can't wait for the reality to hit, it's going to be delicious!

Also that bouncing a mortgage payment is not like bouncing rent. There is a reason why adverts say ‘your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage’

or will she then claim she doesn’t have enough money to make a monthly payment and wave the tip jar?

 

[Cack Conroe]

My eldest has autism and there’s no way he’d ever cook or eat anything by Jack. For starters, her recipes are way too confusing with all that waffle at the beginning and overly complicated instructions. I could see him looking at that page of words and just being like ‘err, no!’ He also hates anything with a sloppy texture and anything she cooks is all mixed together, which would be a big no for pretty much all the kids I know who have sensory issues.

Love the anecdote about the doctor saying she has to eat fish because of her arthritis. I’m sure the actual conversation was along the lines of ‘you’re slightly deficient in X which most people get from oily fish’ and Jack took that as a green light to gobble down bollock sausages daily.

The fish thing is nonsense; some fish are high in omega 3, but for this to help arthritis you also have to cut down on arachidonic acid from all other sources of animal fat. .

I had no idea who LP was so went to Google and spotted her Wiki. Interestingly, she too has PTSD (although hers is CPTSD) - did Jack claim to have this before she met this woman? Or was it never mentioned until afterwards? #genuinequestion

They do look somewhat alike, although LP is slightly "better looking" (IMHO), so I can understand them being mistaken for one another ~from a distance~
LP is a "proper" writer though, with award nominations and stuff - something that could make a not-so-successful and definitely NOT THAT FAMOUS writer jealous. That's the extent of my knowledge and I'll stop there, or I'll end up down another twatter-style rabbit hole!

Jack is a bit like Hunch: they both think they're so famous that everyone knows them, yet nobody outside their niches has even heard of them.

More trivia: Laurie Pennie is privately educated but identifies as working class.

She makes a huge song and dance about her queer marriage to a male.

I’m pretty sure she claims to have C-PTSD from receiving unfavourable book reviews.

No wonder her and Jack are pals!

Also that bouncing a mortgage payment is not like bouncing rent. There is a reason why adverts say ‘your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your mortgage’

or will she then claim she doesn’t have enough money to make a monthly payment and wave the tip jar?

Jack’s Forever Home being repossessed would be like a pov wet dream for her. So much sympathy and attention to be milked!

 

[Mr Krabs]

I am so slow on the uptake. I didn't realise she was probably doing a joint application
Bloody hell no wonder Harold left.

Mortgage advisor: Right, so it’s a joint application is it? OK, Mr Harold you’ll be putting up the entire deposit and you’ve got an income from your hat shop? All good. Mx Monroe, you’ll be contributing £34, have no stable income income, haven’t done a tax return in three years, CCJs, and you keep kicking my shins under the table.
Jack: perhaps this will change your mind *slides envelope over table*
Mortgage advisor: *opening envelope* oh sweet Jesus, what are those?

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Or “nourishing” (most recently deployed in conversation with Janey Godley I believe).

In fact, if the entire English-speaking world could never use that word again I’d be grateful x

I absolutely hate that word and, for reasons I'm unsure of, most food-related adjectives. Makes me genuinely on edge. Brains are weird!

 

[jenny2603]

So glad I'm not the only one who has a thing for UHT milk. I really like the taste of it.

SH1TTERS!

 

[Limey]

Mortgage advisor: Right, so it’s a joint application is it? OK, Mr Harold you’ll be putting up the entire deposit and you’ve got an income from your hat shop? All good. Mx Monroe, you’ll be contributing £34, have no stable income income, haven’t done a tax return in three years, CCJs, and you keep kicking my shins under the table.
Jack: perhaps this will change your mind *slides envelope over table*
Mortgage advisor: *opening envelope* oh sweet Jesus, what are those?

Oh tit, I'd forgotten the bollocks about the mortgage advisor's foot fetish. #DHOTYA

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

Oh tit, I'd forgotten the bollocks about the mortgage advisor's foot fetish. #DHOTYA

I mean, she lets us see her finger nails in such a filthy state so god only knows what her toes look like.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Oh tit, I'd forgotten the bollocks about the mortgage advisor's foot fetish. #DHOTYA

Jack threads are WILD. Has it even been a fortnight since she claimed she worked in a brothel?

 

[Boogs]

Jack threads are WILD. Has it even been a fortnight since she claimed she worked in a brothel?

It’s impossible keep up with her rollercoaster of utter bollocks isn’t it?

 

[Wooh]

so, like this
View attachment 1368916
But with a double circle at the top, for the 'wind sock' to sit. Pass thru the middle, tie a knot at the bottom.
cut and tie as necessary.

My knots would be bigger than the bag, I fear! Thank you for explaining. To bring this back to Jack, would be handy when invited to a black tie do if you had only a sweaty t-shirt

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[PuritySpiral]

It's just dawned on me that Laurie Penny is the person who KH confused with JM, giving rise to the libel lawsuit. That's the Laurie JM has named her dog after.

 

[JombleWomble]

I've just been reading the infamous thread 31 because I wasn't a tattler back then.

One of the first posts in response to Jack's arrival (on 24th June 2020) was a suggestion that she should enjoy the sunshine and grow her own herbs. Yesterday (24th June 2022) Jack tweeted that she's going to start growing her own herbs.

Hi Jack, I hope you had fun yesterday while you were celebrating your tattle anniversary by re-reading your old posts on this website that you definitely don't visit anymore.

(Dear paralegals, this is a joke not a serious libel. Please don't sue me, thanks huns)

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

It's just dawned on me that Laurie Penny is the person who KH confused with JM, giving rise to the libel lawsuit. That's the Laurie JM has named her dog after.

Jack's tried to get her attention:

 

[BlendedSlop]

I am so slow on the uptake. I didn't realise she was probably doing a joint application
Bloody hell no wonder Harold left.

Trying to snare him with a mortgage and a baby...she really wasn't taking any chances this time was she?

 

[Mrs Peel]

I've just been reading the infamous thread 31 because I wasn't a tattler back then.

One of the first posts in response to Jack's arrival (on 24th June 2020) was a suggestion that she should enjoy the sunshine and grow her own herbs. Yesterday (24th June 2022) Jack tweeted that she's going to start growing her own herbs.

Hi Jack, I hope you had fun yesterday while you were celebrating your tattle anniversary by re-reading your old posts on this website that you definitely don't visit anymore.

(Dear paralegals, this is a joke not a serious libel. Please don't sue me, thanks huns)

Ooh! Where can I find the infamous thread 31?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Ooh! Where can I find the infamous thread 31?

Go to Jack Monroe Threads on the top of the page, the chaos starts from around page 17 of thread 31.