Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

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Trying to snare him with a mortgage and a baby...she really wasn't taking any chances this time was she? šŸ˜¬
I suspect he saw the light rapidly.

If youā€™re not on SM but your new OH is and starts muttering about pregnancy etc then you are bound to have media savvy friends who will notice and start pointing it out. He likely got weird vibes about it all and made a swift exit. I suspect heā€™s now realising he dodged a bullet.
 
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I suspect he saw the light rapidly.

If youā€™re not on SM but your new OH is and starts muttering about pregnancy etc then you are bound to have media savvy friends who will notice and start pointing it out. He likely got weird vibes about it all and made a swift exit. I suspect heā€™s now realising he dodged a bullet.
I still think the timing with the LL means thereā€™s some connection there that brought her Twitter to OHs attention (not relatives or anything, acquaintances or friend of friend) and it all unravelled. Probably breathing a huge sigh of relief daily that she didnā€™t end up pregnant.
 
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So glad I'm not the only one who has a thing for UHT milk. I really like the taste of it.
I prefer it, I know itā€™s controversial! However, her insistence on ā€œsneakingā€ things in SBs food makes me ill. Like he would dare question mamapapa.

My dream AMA would be to ask Harold the new frau question - please, if you can, tell us what tipped you off that sheā€™s a dementor and utter grifter?

When I was growing up mum used to get worse. Sterilised milk in long tall bottles with beer bottle caps, suppose that might be what uht milk is today? And st Ivel Five pints milk powder! Eugh, still better than just water on your weetabix.
Sterrie is worse, even I wouldnā€™t.
 
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So glad I'm not the only one who has a thing for UHT milk. I really like the taste of it.
I donā€™t like the UK stuff, it leaves a funky aftertaste, but when I lived in Spain, where itā€™s hard to find fresh dairy ANYTHING, Calcio UHT milk tasted really nice and creamy. Hard to tell the difference when nice and cold
 
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The sneaking food into her kid's diet is one of the things that pisses me off the most, especially if he does have sensory issues or just plain doesn't like something. Maybe if you learned to actually cook, Jack, you wouldn't have to sneak stuff in. She thinks it makes her seem quirky and mischievous but it just makes her look like a sneaky bleep.

I mean I will admit to making curries and bolognese and stuff with plant-based meat stuff even though my wife eats meat but if she asked I'd bloody tell her and if I knew she didn't like it I'd make the effort to cook meat for her. I'm not totally veggie but I rarely eat it unless I'm pissed.
 
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My mum used to put butter and jam on weetabix for us rather than milk sometimes šŸ¤¢. Now I wonder if it's because we had run out of milk šŸ¤”
Been there, done that, got the sick bucket! :sick:

OT (slightly) but being of Scottish descent (my grandfather, so Scotland and the Scots really are close to my heart), our porridge was and always will be made with water with a pinch of salt, as we were always told, "that's how the real Scots do it".šŸ˜ As a milk hater :sick: I can't imagine making porridge made with it as I'd probably gag.:sick: Each to their own though, we're all different.;)

Jack would be interested in a woman I follow on Instagram, she prices up all her goodies when she posts recipes and makes some really cheap things. Things that actually look delicious and edible - I've tried several and they turned out great, and I'm no Delia Smith!šŸ¤Ŗ She would also probably benefit from following someone like The Budget Mom - she's done some GREAT stuff money-wise and helps folks (as well as it now being her business) to get out of debt. She also has sleeves of tattoos, so bonus for Jack! ;)

PS Do you suppose she went to the mortgage appointment alone and named old Harold as the other party, then brought it up with him, hence causing a ruckus? :unsure: #justathought

PPS on the subject of tattoos - why does she think she's so avant garde in relation? I'm well into my sixties (sadly:cry:) and I'd say half of my friends and several relatives have them (including two sisters). Women aged from 30 to 76! Tatts are nothing new these days! Neither are the funky haircuts - they're everywhere. Get with it, lass!:rolleyes:šŸ˜

(Sorry, I realise I overuse those emojis!)
 
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Jack's tried to get her attention:

View attachment 1369048
Didn't she name her goldfish Allegra in an attempt to woo leggy? And call the kitten Sophie after LJCs most beloved of pets? (I always had the tiniest thought that broody Jack had mooted the idea of calling her and LJCs first kid together that, which is why the poor kitten got it)
Now she's named the dog Laurie after Penny?

Run LP, run.

(Actually no, they deserve each other)
 
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When I was growing up mum used to get worse. Sterilised milk in long tall bottles with beer bottle caps, suppose that might be what uht milk is today? And st Ivel Five pints milk powder! Eugh, still better than just water on your weetabix.
I hated sterilised milk, powdered milk is also gross. My grampy used to have condensed milk in his tea.
 
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And I still had a few quid for crisps and Jamie dodgers. Also got mash and birds eye grills to boot.
Apologies if itā€™s already been said, I am way behind because Iā€™m BUSY. Iā€™m deep cleaning my crappy RENTED single-storey home (yes ninnies, confession time- I LITERALLY have no stairs in the house I RENT, and I LITERALLY have an evil landlady whoā€™s my LITERAL next door neighbour. Tenant wise, Iā€™m all the things Ol Slop Chops pretends/wishes to be)*

Anyway since I read it earlier today I canā€™t stop thinking about the genius autocarrot of the BIB and THAT MAN and manaically and performatively cackling while filming myself laughing.

Jack Monroe: Jamie Dodger.

*ETA and my real, not made up OH LEFT for work this morning
 
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I've been struggling to keep up since the puppy chaos. As if parading content dog wasn't getting her enough attention, she does a performative pov shop for good measure? Wow, like others I'm getting real toddler potty training praise vibes.

"I'm a big girl, look what I can do... I can buy avocados too..."

I haven't got time for a train/glasto chaos as well - I'm BUSY!!
 
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Been there, done that, got the sick bucket! :sick:

OT (slightly) but being of Scottish descent (my grandfather, so Scotland and the Scots really are close to my heart), our porridge was and always will be made with water with a pinch of salt, as we were always told, "that's how the real Scots do it".šŸ˜ As a milk hater :sick: I can't imagine making porridge made with it as I'd probably gag.:sick: Each to their own though, we're all different.;)

Jack would be interested in a woman I follow on Instagram, she prices up all her goodies when she posts recipes and makes some really cheap things. Things that actually look delicious and edible - I've tried several and they turned out great, and I'm no Delia Smith!šŸ¤Ŗ She would also probably benefit from following someone like The Budget Mom - she's done some GREAT stuff money-wise and helps folks (as well as it now being her business) to get out of debt. She also has sleeves of tattoos, so bonus for Jack! ;)

PS Do you suppose she went to the mortgage appointment alone and named old Harold as the other party, then brought it up with him, hence causing a ruckus? :unsure: #justathought

PPS on the subject of tattoos - why does she think she's so avant garde in relation? I'm well into my sixties (sadly:cry:) and I'd say half of my friends and several relatives have them (including two sisters). Women aged from 30 to 76! Tatts are nothing new these days! Neither are the funky haircuts - they're everywhere. Get with it, lass!:rolleyes:šŸ˜

(Sorry, I realise I overuse those emojis!)
The conviction that sheā€™s considered outrageous because of the tattoos is one of her weirdly old fashioned ideas which show what a sheltered life sheā€™s had. My grandparents, who would be pushing a hundred if they were still alive, might have pearl clutched a little over the whole tattooed single mother lesbian thing, my parents, mid to late sixties, wouldnā€™t have a single duck to give. Sheā€™s created a little fantasy in her head where itā€™s still the 1950s and sheā€™s yomping around Southend causing ladies to faint and gentlemen to drop their monocles in their soup in shock. Nothing sadder than a thirty something edge lord.
 
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Isn't Laurie Penny in Berlin at the moment? Maybe she whisked Jackie over to Venice/The Netherlands for a European date.

Although you can't say Laurie P doesn't have SM?
 
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When I was growing up mum used to get worse. Sterilised milk in long tall bottles with beer bottle caps, suppose that might be what uht milk is today? And st Ivel Five pints milk powder! Eugh, still better than just water on your weetabix.
In the ā€˜70ā€™s my mum used to used marvel powdered milk and occasionally Five Pints, as a treat she would make cream with whichever she had in, using more powder and a little water, it was bloody disgusting.
 
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Could Harold be a widower? Wodowers often enter in to unsuitable relationships soon after their wives die.
Not here for pigeonholing widows /widowers just like we wouldnā€™t Autistic people, etc.
 
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Exactly! UHT milk is standard here, far more readily available than fresh (which most supermarkets don't stock, or if they do, they will have about 5 bottles out at the bottom of a cabinet - it's clearly not a big seller).

If you're a tea/coffee drinker, you might not want UHT (I guess? I don't drink either!) but you can use it in smoothies, and it's great for baking or cooking. Not everyone lives rurally and has easy access to stallions, so UHT milk is a good option for bƩchamel, for example.

All information that would be useful from a literal food expert, no?

BTW who the duck does a 5-step shopping list without a meal plan? She's planning to batch cook this weekend, but has no idea what she's batch cooking? Train the dog to do the groceries, Jack, she'll do a better job than you!
I believe sheā€™s made a ā€œruffā€ list already

 
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