Jack Monroe #326 You absolutely reek of bitterness, fantasy and too much time on your hands

[Into_the_tunnel]

Sending love to all those recovery peeps out there.

I have to admit I was feeling the waves of sympathy lapping earlier. Being broken-hearted is rubbish, particularly if she has to move around the country talking and not giving herself the time to process it.

However, her birthday tweet just cements what I suspected was coming at the weekend. It is all a performance. All of it.

I feel tit that I was taken in once again. I don’t trust myself. I refuse to be cruel and name call because that isn’t in my nature and ultimately it is her behaviour that is at fault and not her. A very subtle difference, but still a difference.

Off to post gifs I think.

 

[Feck]

Oh dear. A sudden break-up out of nowhere must be very upsetting. I wouldn't like to speculate why or what happened. I do feel sorry for her. Also, these destabilizing traumatic events are not good for mental health so if she did deactivate because of a break-up then good for her. Shows some growth.

6 hours though? We've had longer power cuts.

 

[Orphan_Black]

The idea of bollock sausage BBQ was just too much for Harold.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She was with him for what, 3/4 months? Looking back it was a pretty problematic campaign of love bombing from the off but could imagine him seeing it as normal, being part of the whirlwind world of a food writing “celeb” rather than the really tragic and toxic reality that is her just spending her Patreon donors’ cash. He must be of sound mind and taking his recovery seriously to have cut the cord, good luck to him tbh. He must be thanking his lucky stars he’s not tethered to her for 18 years like SB’s dad is.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

No offence but I could see this break up coming a mile away. She's not ready for a relationship and I said the other day the saviour role would go sour soon. Theres only so much being a hero you can take.

 

[Lazarus]

Imagine, just the other day, OH was onto a promise of an amazing Greek tragedy mezze platter with the lamb, the tit haricot beans gigantes, Lidl baguette flatbread etc. i wonder if that was the straw that broke the camels back.
and I also wonder if the knock off Nigel’s Tiffany earrings will be locked away in a sad box now, never to be seen again.

 

[Yorkiepud]

I do think OH exists, and I hope Jack maintains their sobriety. I don't like to think of them being sad, but as other frau have pointed out Jack did get into this relationship against all advice.

Just casting my mind back to Jack suggesting they make a ballgown from a hotel bedsheet which OH talked them out of. I imagine OH just rolling their eyes and wondering what they were doing with this grade A weapon.

 

[Feck]

I'm not going to speculate on her reasons for deactivating/reactivating her account. She's like a choose your own adventure book at this point.

 

[Geetbo]

Thing is, they don’t seem to have been together very long. Jack on Twitter talks about babies and forever homes. I suspect OH already had children (which is why he comes and goes) and he’s been freaked and ran.
I’ve read that joke about lesbians moving in on the second date, heterosexual men, especially older men with children and are financial solvent, not so fast. Some men don’t want to do it all again. I can imagine Jack is quite full on.

Yeah in the same way that Adolf Hitler was quite unpleasant.

She’s also definitely building up to same tale of woe of walking in on Harold smashing the landlady’s back doors in over a sideboard.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Quality flounce imagine being 44 years old and behaving like that because your short-term imaginary boyfriend dumped you. Go and change your MSN name to something tragic and sign in and out repeatedly so he notices you, you actual child.

 

[MancBee]

You also feel pretty horny because you're not anaesthetised anymore.

She has a drawer full of cocks for that side of things.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Quality flounce imagine being 44 years old and behaving like that because your short-term imaginary boyfriend dumped you. Go and change your MSN name to something tragic and sign in and out repeatedly so he notices you, you actual child.

My Chemical Romance on repeat.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

She has a drawer full of cocks for that side of things.

She is a drawer full of cocks

 

[bladiesla]

I don't rejoice in JM's misfortunes, but I can imagine it's draining being her OH (if she is anything like the way she is on social media) and that people leave eventually.

 

[FrumpyCat]

and here comes the outpouring of sympathy!

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Does this mean the, no doubt, not imaginary OH of several weeks has dumped Jack.

Wherever he hangs his hat, it ain't her home.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

xX_JaCk_Xx I'm NoT oKaY

 

[Limey]

ah, evita jack's back then

Am settling down for an evening of Lloyd Webber/Rice lyrical reworkings in her honour. I’ll get started on ‘Oh What A Circus’.

 

[Smeghead]

“won’t be long Margaret, just driving away now”

 

[Ostapbender]

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last in the bungalow
You in mid-air
Send in the Pumble

Don't you love a farce?
My fault, I fear
I thought that you'd want BBQ
Sorry my dear
But where is the Pumble?
Send in the Pumble
Don't bother
It's here

 

[Limey]

I'm not going to speculate on her reasons for deactivating/reactivating her account. She's like a choose your own adventure book at this point.

I know it’s too early for a thread title, but that’s a corker.